Teddy Gavin quotes from Rescue Me

All these goddamn faggotty politically correct assholes with their goddamn bibles, and their bumper stickers and their girl power bullshit. Nobody's accountable anymore. You get a drunk driver who kills a kid, it's not his fault 'cause he drank, it's his parents fault because they bullied him when he was a kid. I'm so sick of the people not facing up to the facts. Black people like fried foods. Chinese people, lousy goddamn drivers. Mexicans think that a pick-up truck holds 27 goddamn people. And that's just what I think.

Teddy

Will you marry me?

Tommy

So you want me to lie?

Yeah, through your goddamn teeth I want you to lie.

Tommy

Well, I can't do that.

You-- You can't [starts laughing]

Tommy

What's so funny?

You can't lie?

Tommy

Look, I can lie to my wife, my kids, the guys at work, the guys at headquarters, cops, yeah I can do that kinda lyin'. That's like triple-A ball, you know? But these are lawyers, this is major league pitching here to these guys, I'm good but I'm not that good.

Tommy

FDNY ain't like it used to be, man. It's all bean counters and brown nosers now. Guys like me, a dyin' breed.

Oh, yeah, with the drinkin' and the druggin' and the mistresses, and the lyin and the cheatin'. World ain't what it used to be, huh, Tom? Hey, we gotta go. Teddy's case just came in.

Tommy

Is that good or bad?

If I had to bet right now on your case or Teddy's I'd have to call it even.

Tommy

Why's that?

Because they both hinge on the same thing.

Tommy

Which is?

Dead dicks.

Teddy

So, what are you people tryin' to say?

Tommy

You gotta get off the sauce, Teddy. You gotta quit drinkin'.

Teddy

This is comin' from you? Look at this place, look at your life! Does being sober make your life any easier?

Tommy

Not really, but--

Teddy

Well, there you go.

Tommy

Hey, it's a process. It's a one day at a time type of thing. You do one day at a time, then two days, then turn days into weeks, and weeks into months, and gradually, slowly, it goes from being shitty, to being good, to eventually, being uh... great, right?

Mickey

Right, great.

So, what do you say, Teddy, you gonna get some help?

Teddy

Uh, no.

Teddy doesn't wanna go to rehab, but he does wanna get better. Mick, you still gonna take him to meetings?

Mickey

Yeah, sure.

Maggie

I mean, shit, we got enough drunks in this room, to start our own meetings.

Tommy

That's not a bad idea.

Mickey

There's no reason we can't.

Tommy

No, right?

Mickey

Sure.

I'm not a drunk. [Maggie laughs]

Tommy

Yeah, okay. We could do it Monday, Wednesday...

Except I'm not a drunk!

This from a guy who drank a bottle of brandy, and drove his car into his laundromat.

Hey, that was three years ago, and it was snowing.

Tommy

Yeah, it was the weather.

Mickey

Alright, guys, the truth of the matter is, if you don't believe in some higher power, trusting something higher than yourself, you're gonna wind up counting days. You know, believe me, I was a priest, okay? And I find more god in these rooms, even this room than I ever did working for the church, y'know? Y'know, the ability to share your sins with other sinners, that's what's gonna get you through. Even, let's say, two minutes after we walk out of this apartment Tommy goes into the kitchen and opens up a kitchen cabinet and finds a brand spankin' new bottle of Maker's Mark, if he has faith and trust, he won't drink it.

Teddy

Holy shit.

Mickey

What?

Teddy

There's a bottle of Maker's Mark in one of these cabinets? [Elle smacks him] Ow! Goddamn it!

Teddy

[as they are making a list of people they've hurt with their drinking] You're shittin' me, right?

Maggie

What?

Teddy

My name's not in your top three?

Maggie

Excuse me. How have I hurt you with my drinkin'? Give me one for instance.

Teddy

I had to leave the firehouse to come get you from that club from downtown. You puked all over the inside of my Cordova.

Maggie

You know, I was 14 years old and that was the first time I ever drank!

Teddy

All the more reason why I should be number one.

Maggie

Am I on your list?

Teddy

For what?

Maggie

Christmas, '86. You grabbed my left tit, Teddy!

Teddy

First of all, it was a slight graze. Second of all, I drank half a bowl of eggnog that night, through a straw! Third of all, most important of all, I would never, ever do such a thing.

Tommy

[about his dad] Teddy, his was 82, okay--

Teddy

What are you puttin' time limits on people now? Shut your mouth. Just because it's okay for you, doesn't mean it's goddamn okay for the rest of us.

Tommy

Who says it's okay for me?

Teddy

I seen 'ya, I seen 'ya at the funeral. I'm up there cryin' my eyes out like a bitch and you're sitting there like a goddamn stone. And then all that shit you said the other night after we watched the movies? You make me sick just to look at you. You're glad he's gone, you're glad because now you don't have to look at the kind of man that you'd never be.

Teddy

Oh my God. Your father would be spinning if he knew you were having sex with these old timers.

Maggie

Oh please, dad would have given his God damn Purple Heart. Besides some of these Vietnam and Gulf war vets are totally hot. And I dabbled in Korean but that's where I draw the line. Anything beyond Korea would just be gross.

Tommy

Great. He's drinkin' again?

Teddy

Like a Kennedy on election day!