Tommy Gavin quotes from Rescue Me

Tommy

[to Janet, about Colleen] Did you even know she was going to the city with the Murphy Kid that night, let alone joyriding around Manhattan with him? And I'll bet my left nut that that kid's on drugs. Did you hear what I said? I said my left nut, which just happens to be my favorite nut.

Tommy

[to Laura] Let me tell you something, sister, you serve two purposes in this house-- you can give me a blow job or make me a sandwich. I'm not in the mood for head and I had a late breakfast, so you're shit out of luck.

Tommy

[to Janet, who wants more money] Yeah, lemme pull down my pants and grab the money that's growin' outta my ass.

Tommy

[to Mickey, in confession] Bless me father for I have sinned, and so have you. [he grabs him and starts beating him up]

Tommy

It's not like you need me around here anyways. The biggest call we got in the last three weeks was that old lady reporting a gas leak. Ended up she was the leakee.

Tommy

I'm gonna go upstairs, and leave you three guys alone so you can blow each other.

Tommy

[After Lou explains his epiphany] That still doesn't explain why you were in my toilet manscaping.

Tommy

You know who else had an epiphany, once? Hitler. Everybody woke up and all of a sudden there were no more bagels and cream cheese available in downtown Berlin, not to mention lox pastrami sandwiches.

Tommy

[showing his scars to people at a bar, proving he's FDNY, while drinking expensive whiskey he can't pay for] See, that? See, that, huh? I got that 12 stories up in a raging inferno up in Harlem. In an apartment, lookin' around I lost my halgen, couldn't find it. But I did find someone's grandmother. I had to hand her out in a bucket to save her, had to punch my way through a window. She died about an hour later. See that one? Take a look at that one. That was a drunken asshole up in the Bronx he fell asleep smoking in bed, well, he started the fire. He was trying to crawl out, I brought him down, I was trading my mask off with him coming down the stairs, the stairs give way and I fall through a half of story on to these metal spikes. He lived, but four kids and their mom died. I knew, 60 guys, who died on 9-11. And you know what the funny part is? I betcha 'ya, all the people in this bar, you could name five finalist from American Idol but they can't name one, one name of the 343 men who gave their lives from the FDNY on 9-11, huh. Anybody got a name? One name, huh? Anybody got a name of a dead fireman, huh? No, nobody, didn't think so. I don't have any money because my wallet and my badge were inside my new truck which got stolen this morning. My wife's pregnant, she's gonna have a baby. But we don't know who's it is because she's having sex with me and my brother. My uncle's in the joint because last year he shot my---this drunk driver that killed my only son and I just saw my son on a crosstown bus right in front of this place like three minutes ago. [Bartender gives Tommy the whole bottle of the expensive Irish whiskey]

Tommy

Let me fill you in on little somethin' about the bible. The bible is to the Catholic church what The Godfather is to the mafia, y'know? Yeah, the catholic church is the most corrupt organization on the face of the planet. I did 12 years in that... penal system, y'know? All these gangsters walk around, thinkin' they run the world at any moment in time. You know, like Gotti|, Gambino|, Castellano, y'know, whoever. They all learn the same lesson, though. At any given time on this planet, the biggest gangster is always the pope.

Tommy

[to Black Shawn] You know what? Let me tell you something. If you were working the morning of 9/11 you'd feel the same way as me, okay. I don't care who you believe in, whether it's God or Allah or Mohammad or L. Ron Hubbard, okay? Whoever was supposed to be in charge that morning, was managing the master plan, he showed his cards that morning, he doesn't give a shit, okay?

Tommy

[to Mike] You gotta look on the bright side. At least your mom died before you did, y'know, that's a natural course of events, y'know. Know what I'm sayin'? Parents are supposed to die before their kids, that was one of the things that was so screwed up about 9/11, y'know? All these guys... doin' the right thing, and dyin', parents havin' to bury 'em. It's not right. Besides, I'm sure your mom was a pain in the ass half the time anyways, half the time she probably called 'ya, you probably looked at your phone, and left it to go to voice mail, right? Because you didn't wanna talk to her. ... As much as I love my wife, same thing, man. Sometimes, y'know, we separate, arrange a schedule so y'know, we didn't have to see each other, except in passing at a couple weeks at a time, and then you see 'em for a coupla hours and you start to get all those great feelings back... and a couple days later, you hate 'em again. But at least she died before you did, 'cause I'll tell 'ya what, there's nothin' worse than burying your kid. I did it, y'know? ... I remember after 9/11, when the found Jimmy, what was it like, 3 weeks later? They-- they pulled his body out, after the funeral we were havin' a party or whatever, and my Aunt Bridy, his mother was havin' a rough time, and my cousin Norrine, his sister was tryin' to help her along, and she said y'know, ma the only thing that's gonna help this go away is time. I'll never forget when my Aunt Bridy said, she said 'I'm 77 years old, I don't have enough time.' It's the truth. I could live to be 106, I'm not gonna get over Connor. And he was a real pain in the ass that morning, he was ridin' that bike, in between cars, I was tryin' to fix the truck... but I got two healthy kids... and of all I've said about my wife, she's been a great mother, y'know? There's a lot to be said for that, y'know? A lot.

Tommy

You’d better pray that if your Wall Street office, or your luxury, lonely loft that you’re always talkin’ about, if it’s full of smoke, that there’s a guy with balls as big as mine who jumps off a rig and runs in and carries you out. And I tell you what: If I do, if I happen to save your ass, or your ass, you know what I’m doin’ afterwards? When I get home, I’m gonna have a nice, big, tall, cold glass of vodka, or a nice, warm tumbler full of whisky. That’s what I’m gonna have. You guys got nothin’ for me? That’s what I’ve got for you. That’s my little message. I’m gonna spend the rest of my time on this particular planet drinking, and liking it. My suggestion to you: Try doin’ the same. Bottoms up, folks.

Tommy

[reading Lou's letter] Dear Tom. If you're reading this, it probably means I'm dead. It might have come as a shock to you, but I'll tell you now. I was living on borrowed time. My heart went bad a while back. I won't bore you with the details, but at this stage of the game, I'll be lucky if I finish this goddamn letter. If it wasn't my ticker that did me in, please tell me I died after eating fifteen pizzas, or during sex with either multiple women or one really big one. Either way that works for me. But seriously, I hope I went on the job doing the work I was meant to do surrounded by you and the guys. Since it was mostly about food with me, I gonna leave you guys with a recipe. Take one self-absorbed pretty boy Puerto Rican. [Off Franco's look, he points to the letter] Add one long on attitude, short on experience black guy. Then add two morons, one more stupid than the other. Mix together and let sit. Then, finally, add one battle-scarred, haunted, formerly drunken Irish asshole who screws up his life like other people breathe. Blend all the ingredients together, turn on fire, and hope for the best. Sounds like shit, doesn't it? Well, brother, I've tasted it. I've eaten it up these last few years, and it's delicious. Okay, cornball, I know. But you guys together, you have something great. Me being gone doesn't change that. Find yourself another good-looking, slightly overweight spoiler of women, and you're back at strength. Keep the crew together and keep fighting the fight. Don't worry me, Tom. I had a good life. I knew brotherhood. I knew being good at something. I knew what it meant to have a friend. Yeah, we had our ups and downs. We're in a major down mode at the moment. But with you, the ups are good enough. I'll take the downs. I love you, Tom. Not in that way. Okay, maybe a little that way. I'll always be with you. Your pal, Lou. P.S. don't forget what the bagpipers are supposed to play. If you mess up, I promise I'll haunt you forever, asshole.

Tommy

You want to know how big my balls are? My balls are bigger than two of your heads duct-taped together. I've been in the middle of shit that would make you piss your pants right now. Uptown, downtown, Harlem, Brooklyn. But there ain't no medals on my chest, assholes, 'cause I ain't no hero. I'm a fireman. We're not in the business of making heroes here. We're in the business of discovering cowards, 'cause that's what you are if you can't take the heat. You're a pussy, and there ain't no room for pussies in the FDNY. [to a snickering recruit in the first row] What are you laughing at, shithead? Huh? What's so god damn funny?

I just... .

Tommy

Shut up! You speak when spoken to. You pussies better pray you don't get assigned to my firehouse. Because I have seen it all. I knew sixty men who gave their lives at Ground Zero. Sixty. Four of them from my house. Vito Castella... found him almost whole. Ricky Davis... found him almost whole, hugging a civilian woman. Bobby Vincent... found his head. And my cousin, Jimmy Keefe, my best friend. You know what they found of him? What I was able to bring back and give to his parents? A finger. That's all. A finger. These four men were better human beings and better firefighters than any of you will ever be.

Say "thank you," firefighting upper class!

Thank you, Firefighter Gavin, sir!

Tommy

Look, Doc...

Oh, you don't need to explain, I was at another firehouse last night and the reaction was quite similar.

Tommy

The guys, uh, they're not gonna talk to a psychotherapist in the firehouse, especially not uh, female one.

What about the female firefighters?

Tommy

We don't have any female firefighters in this house.

Are you threatened by women?

Tommy

No.

You-- you don't seem to think that a woman can be a firefighter.

Tommy

I'll tell you what, it's not about being a man or a woman, okay? It's about doing the job. It's about me getting home safe and sound in the morning to see my kids, okay? So, you got a woman who can do the job better than the guys on my crew? Bring her on. You know? You got a martian, or a cyborg, or a Chinaman that can do the job, bring them on too.

Are there any Chinese firefighters?

Tommy

Yeah, probably. Somewhere in... China.

I'm sensing a lot of hostility.

Tommy

You are very, very perceptive.