John Sr quotes from Rescue Me

Hey, it's not about the money, Tommy.

Tommy

Well, then what's it about? Go ahead Dad and enlighten me.

It's about the sex.

Tommy

Oh, Christ.

Now, let me tell you something my cock still functions and this broad thinks I'm funny and I get to bang her for free.

Johnny

Are you outta your mind, huh? Did mom know?

If your mother knew we wouldn't be having this conversation because I'd be dead somewhere in some river with my balls in my mouth. [mocking Johnny] "Did mom know?"

Tommy

You know the guy's almost the same age as me, right? He's like a couple weeks younger. I mean how long were you seein' this broad?

Uh... oh, about 36 years.

Johnny

What? You were having an affair for 36 years?

What can I tell you? When it comes to adultery I'm a one woman man.

Tommy

What, are you drinking all day now?

I'm 82. I'm retired, and I'm married to a new and much younger woman who's not only rich but likes to bang my brains out at least 3 times a week. So I'm not drinking kid. I'm in a perpetual toast.

Mickey

We just want you to know, that everybody is in this room because we love you. And feel like you're slippin' away. And so, you know, if you just take a moment, we've all written down some things and we'd like you to just listen with an open mind... to--

Maggie

Wait, is this like one of those intervention thingys?

Mickey

Yeah.

Maggie

I'll do it.

Tommy

You'll do it?

Maggie

Yeah. I'm tired of this shit. Waking up god knows, with god knows who, havin' done god knows what, feelin' like an atomic bomb went off inside my skull. I'm finished. Box me up and ship me to rehab.

Mickey

Okay!

Sean

I have a stack of notebooks here, I didn't even get to say my piece.

I'm with the kid, I have grievances to air.

Maggie

Oh, blow it out your ass, old man. I am not gonna give you the satisfaction.

Teddy doesn't wanna go to rehab, but he does wanna get better. Mick, you still gonna take him to meetings?

Mickey

Yeah, sure.

Maggie

I mean, shit, we got enough drunks in this room, to start our own meetings.

Tommy

That's not a bad idea.

Mickey

There's no reason we can't.

Tommy

No, right?

Mickey

Sure.

I'm not a drunk. [Maggie laughs]

Tommy

Yeah, okay. We could do it Monday, Wednesday...

Except I'm not a drunk!

This from a guy who drank a bottle of brandy, and drove his car into his laundromat.

Hey, that was three years ago, and it was snowing.

Tommy

Yeah, it was the weather.

As far as I'm concerned, God was your mother. The way she raised you kids, the love she showed you. The way she helped you overcome all the stuff that scared the shit outta 'ya. The height thing, the bee thing, your mother was a saint.

Tommy

What heights thing? I'm not afraid of heights. What are you talkin' about? I'm a goddamn fireman for Christ's sake, I'm up on the ladder, up in the bucket every other goddamn day.

No, not now, thanks to her. Christ, she couldn't even put you in a highchair. But she cured 'ya, she took you up on the roof, held you over the side, and tickled you with her nose, the next thing you know, you were begging her to throw you up in the air.

Tommy

What was the bee thing?

You're deathly afraid of them. You used to wear a wool hat in the summer so they wouldn't bite you on the head. I don't think you ever got over that. There's one now.

Tommy

[startles and looks around] Where?

[laughs] Gotcha.