Sheila Keefe quotes from Rescue Me

Sheila

[After drugging Tommy in order to rape him because he slept with Angie] I understand the need for revenge. I understand envy and heavy jealousy. But... why would she want to hurt me?

Sheila

[in baby talk] The diddle baby wants his big Daddy to bring some more soupy. Do you think that big Daddy can bring some more soupy-woupy?

Tommy

That had better be the baby talking because if it's you, big Daddy's gonna come home and punch you right in the neck.

Tommy

This is the big emergency that you had me come over and help you with?

Sheila

Yeah. An emotional emergency.

Tommy

Do me a favor: Next time call the hormone hot line.

Sheila

Hey, retard! I got neighbors.

Sorry!

Tommy

[to Sheila] He really is retarded.

Sheila

Really?

Tommy

Yeah.

Sheila

[to Paulie] Sorry!

What?

Tommy

Shut up! [to Sheila] You know, I have to go to work, I have to drop him off blah blah blah.

Sheila

Oh, I'm sorry. Am I an inconvenience to you? Oh, yeah. I must be a big fat inconvenience to you. [Tommy starts walking towards his truck] Right? Unless of course you've got no place to go or you're lonely or you're looking for some place to park your cock.

Tommy

Talk to you later.

Sheila

Oh that's perfect. There's a picture I can't get enough of. You walking away. Hey, you have no responsibility here, too bad you're not married, you don't have to handle it right? You big pussy! [starts crying and Tommy starts his truck]

Tommy

You got a girlfriend, Paulie? [Paulie shakes his head] I think I'm the retarded one.

Sheila

I need you to talk to Damian. I found a box of condoms in his room.

Tommy

Look, he’s almost 18 years old. There’s porn all over the internet, okay – hardcore, softcore, midgets blowing sheep. I think he’s probably pretty up to date.

Sheila

Hey, here comes the cake! [sings] Happy birthday...

Michael

Shut your hole! Now, I'm warnin' each and everyone of ya right now, anyone who comes up with that happy birthday bullshit, I'm droppin' my pants and taking a leak on this cake and walking the hell outta here.

Sheila

[as Tommy is going to a sperm bank] How do they remove it from you?

Tommy

The sperm? You know what, I think they go in right above the knee with-- with a little tube and suck the cum right outta your leg. I don't-- what do you think?

Sheila

No, I mean, do they hook you up to some device or...

Tommy

Yeah, they have a penis pump. No! I jerk off into--into a cup or y'know a plastic ice cube tray or something, I don't know.

Sheila

Look, I just have a little tiny question for you.

Tommy

What?

Sheila

When you're at the sperm bank and you're jerkin' off into a cup, could you, uh, think of me?

Tommy

Why?

Sheila

Because if we then decide to use the sperm at a later date to have a child, it would be sorta like we were actually...connected at the moment that it all started.

Tommy

I wanna know what really happened that night, okay? All of it.

Sheila

You know the truth, Tommy. You're an uncontrollable alcohol with a heavy case of survivor's guilt. Couple of big swigs, the guilt goes right out the window, and you're rippin' off my panties and wippin' out your dick. I saw somethin' about it on Oprah, the grieving process. That's how men deal with death. They wanna have a lot of sex, they think it kills off all the emotions inside.

Tommy

Oprah said that?

Sheila

She did.

Tommy

[after Sheila sprays him with perfume] Wh-what are you doing?

Sheila

You had a little baby stink on you. Anyway, it's Curious by Britney Spears, it's fancy.

Tommy

Well, the mystery's over, she's a whore.

Sheila

All women play mind games about sex.

Tommy

S-so, when you told me that I was the best...

Sheila

Depends on the night.

Tommy

An-And what about that time, you told me that, I-I lasted the longest?

Sheila

Also depends on the night.

Tommy

And that whole thing about me being the biggest?

Sheila

Oh, well that part was true. [Tommy's expression changes] See how easy that is?

Tommy

[after Sheila drives up in a Porsche] Mid life crisis much?

Sheila

Oh, shit. I don't need to reach mid-life to have a crisis. That kicked in after the time I lost my virginity.

Sheila

My husband was a firefighter when we met in high school, in his mind. His uncle Mike, Tommy's dad, had been a firefighter. His uncle Teddy. He and Tommy, that's the only thing they ever thought of being. So when I saw that new footage of Jimmy...it made me happy. I can't explain it, but I knew that he didn't...that he wasn't in the first building.

But all the reports were saying that...

Sheila

Do you know that feeling that you get when you just, like, so barely escape a car crash? You know, someone suddenly stops short or races in front of you at an intersection, and you think to yourself for a second, like, right as you slam the brakes, like, "oh. Oh! Okay, this might be it." You know? And all the air skips out of your lungs, and your heart feels like it's gonna explode with fright, and your skin sits up real tight on your bones, and there's this huge rush of breath and blood and... That shiver just shot, like, right through me, but not when the first building fell. It was during the second. I knew that Jimmy was gone during the second collapse. I stopped breathing. My eyes—I couldn't blink. My hands froze up like claws. And I thought to myself, "oh, we're never going to finish the kitchen." You know, cause we were working on the kitchen, putting in new counters and cabinets and stuff. And as those first floors began to tumble down...I mean, like, I don't know, however long it took, like, eleven seconds, my whole life, my love, the way I wake up in the morning every day, the way I go to sleep every night, all of that just changed forever. Floor by floor, I just disappeared. When you lose that one person that you, you know, were meant to be with for the rest of your life so unexpectedly and so soon, I don't— It's like, you know, who can walk into your... Real love? It's just gone. Talk. Touch. Sex. And breakfast. It's funny, you know. I totally thought that I was going to just go fetal and curl up in a ball and...and cry. But I didn't. I made arrangements. I carried my husband's helmet to the funeral. I listened to the mayor and the chief and Tommy talk about my husband. I buried him. I held my son as he cried against my shoulder, and I tucked him in that way every night for months. And then I went fetal for five years. Among many other things, I— I completely zeroed in on Tommy because he was the closest thing that I could find on this entire earth to replace Jimmy. I cursed Tommy. I slept with Tommy. I blamed Tommy. I made Tommy breakfast. Tommy finished my kitchen. I know that Tommy is haunted by Jimmy's death, literally. And I...I...I think that sometimes Tommy wishes that Jimmy had lived, and that he had died in Jimmy's place. And so do I.

Sheila

How's the baby?

Janet

Oh, the baby's fine. [Sheila has a blank look on her face and sits back in her seat] Okay, okay, so what just happened? What was that?

Sheila

Hmm?

Janet

What? Th-That look on your face.

Sheila

Hm, what? Did I have a look?

Janet

Yeah.

Sheila

[looks to the side] Oh, you know what? It was probably the look of, um, disbelief.

Janet

Okay, you lost me.

Sheila

Yeah, it was disbelief in reaction to that, uh, strange little smile that crossed your face when I asked you about the baby. [Janet gives her a look] Don't even try to act like you didn't have a little smile on your sour little puss before you answered my question about the baby.

Janet

I-I don't even know why I bother to be nice to you.

Sheila

[laughs] I'm sorry. Was that you being nice to me? Why don't you go to hell, Janet?

Janet

Aren't you already there?

Janet

You spelled it wrong.

Sean

[walks in] Hey!

Janet

Hey.

Sean

Hey, ladies. Wow. Fancy meeting you two here. What are the odds that the two of you be here at exactly the same time? Huh? It's really-- [laughs and pauses] I'm not interrupting anything, am I?

No.

Sean

Oh, good, good. Oh, hey! Is that the new cell phone everyone's talkin' about? That's awesome! [Sean picks up Janet's cell] What's a cunf? [Sean laughs nervously, they are all silent] I, uh, just came by to say hi to the guys, so, I'm actually late so I'm gonna-- I'm gonna pick up my watch-- I left it at the, uh.. It's good to see you both. So, you look great. Both of you.

Sheila

Oh, hey! I'm glad you're feeling better!

Sean

Thanks.

Sheila

The correct spelling?

Sheila

Furniture.

Tommy

What, you want me to move stuff?

Sheila

Food, furniture, smitten.

Tommy

I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, I got to get this done, and I got to get out of here, so...

Sheila

See, that's how it works for me. A fine Italian sofa, couple of glasses of wine, fresh handmade pasta in a white sauce, and a man that I am so begoggled by that just the sight of his ass in the right pair of jeans or a glimpse of his shoulder bursting from a short sleeve is enough to make me want to tear off all his clothes and just go. Smitten. You see...right now, that guy is you. And you leave...I'm eventually gonna find someone else, and the same goes for her. You see...you're not the only cock on this walk, brother. But still...after all the bullshit...I still get wet when I watch you or when I hear the sound of your voice. You choose me, and you know what you're getting both in and out of bed. You know how I kiss, you know how I taste...and I happen to know that you like that taste. You see...the spark and the edge on that very fine line that we ride, when you've got my legs hung hard around your hips and there's sweat and there's a hum...and there is this need, this really deep hunger that...is so deep that we could just swallow each other whole. And then evaporate in ecstasy. That all goes away. And as far as my crazy train is concerned, I'm not the one who sees my dead husband. How's he doing, by the way?