[Rigby calls Mordecai whose fixing Skips' van in the desert]
RigbyMordecai! What's going on? How're you still not here?
[sighs] Rigby, I just... have stuff to do, okay?
Rigby
You already said you had stuff to do! Aren't you done doing your stuff?
No! [gets in van with six Coffini cans] I'm not done!
Rigby
Well, could you be doing that's more important than this?!
Come on, dude. [drives off] You gotta do this for yourself. I can't do everything for you.
Rigby
What buh—?! I've been doing stuff for myself all spring! I haven't needed your help all spring! Now that one time I do and you're not doing anything for me at all!
Yeah, that's right. I'm not doing anything for you. [hangs up, throws the cans onto the road]
[everyone is complaining that they're in space now]
WHY AM I STILL WEARING THIS THING?! [takes it off and breaks it]
[whining] I need to call my wife, how am I gonna call my wife?! [sees that his phone has no service]
[watches the Earth far away] Be careful what you write in your dream journal, Eileen. You might just get it.
Oh, no! I'm lost forever! We're going to starve to death and die!
Rigby
We gotta press the button again!
[grabs Rigby] No! We gotta calm-
[Rigby jumps off Mordecai and press the button]
Rigby
[pressing the button while he's whining] GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! My high school graduate, I'm too young to die in space!
[everyone is still complaining]
Stop! [calms down everyone] Everybody, calm down. We've done this before guys. Last time we got trapped in the dome, we panicked. Right? But then we banned together and figured it out. We can't fall apart now. We are going to figure out how to get home. But we have to survive first. All we have to do is to make it one day at a time,
Mordecai is right, we'll handle this like we handle everything else, with a morning meeting.
[Mordecai observes the moon and Earth in the distance with Rigby lying down]
Rigby
[chuckles] Yeah.
What if we're stuck here forever?
Rigby
Might not be so bad. [Mordecai lies down with him] I mean, we basically have the park and all the stuff we normally have. Also, I've got Eileen! And you have… [Mordecai pauses for a beat] ...me! And we have space ships! Maybe this is how we become space pilots! Unless that timeline was destroyed, I don't know.
[sits up] Yeah, but we'll probably make it back to Earth. [both laugh out loud, Benson enters]
What are you two doing? No one's heard from you for two hours!
Sorry, Benson! We were exploring and then we found these space carts.
Rigby
Yeah, and they were already crashed and stuff.
I don't care. I don't care. I don't care! We have a plan now. Quit goofing off and get to the surface!
Aaah! We're gonna die! (Gasps) Drifting in space, no way in communicating with earth... Thanks for getting us stuck in space, Rigby!
Rigby
You pushed that button, too!
Your hand was on top of mine!
Rigby
I was just going with the flow!
Going with the flow? I'll show you going with the flow! [furiously shoves Rigby hard]
Rigby
Ugh. Ahem. (smiles and punches Benson in the face in response)
I see one guy who isn't jazzed.
So, we're being forced to do this?
Well, this is purely a volunteer mission to benefit mankind.
[frustrated] Well, I don't volunteer! [leaves the room]
Why can't Benson see that this is going to be really cool?
He's afraid to try something new.
The park wouldn't be the same without him.
Rigby
We gotta get him on board.
Rigby
Cool, bunk beds.
Benson, check it out cool pillows.
Those pillows are not cool at all and neither is space.
Actually, Benson, I hate to disagree, but living in space is the definition of cool. I mean, I just got goosebumps saying that.
Um, again; basically kidnapped and forced to do this.
Rigby
What's the matter, Benson? You can have top bunk if you want.
[sarcastically] Oh, the top bunk, now I definitely wanna stay in space. Muscle Man, what about Starla?
Starla would be proud, Besides, I know our love will stand the test of time. [holds up a picture of him and Starla signed "Our love will stand the test of time -Starla"]
Well, Fives, what about Celia?
Ditto. [pulls out a photo of him and Celia signed "Ditto -Celia"]
[agitated] I can't believe you people! Those scientists lied to us! MR. MAELLARD LIED TO US! UGH, I WANNA GO HOME!! [furiously storms out]
This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Rigby
You can't be serious, Benson.
You're really gonna give up, now?
I've been telling you guys for the past two hours, you're not gonna change my mind. As soon as I finish this space panini, I'm outta here. [eats panini] There, I'm done.
If you really want to go, I guess we can't stop you, but, you should at least watch this before you leave. We all put this video together. We think it might change your mind before staying.
Don't you remember that really cool editing bay we saw on the tour? There were so many VCR's!
[sighs] I know what this is. It's a tape full of sappy memories that it's supposed to convince me to stay, show me where I belong. Well, it won't work!
[a disheveled Benson inserts his dusty VHS tape in a player, it plays to see Mordecai holding the camera with Earth in the background]
Hey, Benson. Um, we get why you want to go back to Earth, but I'm not sure we were really upfront about why we wanted you to stay. [Benson starts crying]
It just wouldn't be the same without you. [cut footage to Rigby]
Rigby
I won't be able to keep up with work without you breathing down my neck. [cut to Muscle Man]
And who am I gonna have wing-eating contests with, huh? [Fives pops up behind him]
I've always appreciated your no-nonsense attitude and dedication to your work. It's really inspiring. [Benson wipes his crying face; Eileen holds the camera]
Hey, Benson. I don't know you very well, but I do know you mean a lot to these guys, and I'd like a chance to get to know you better too. You do have the best chance of keeping Rigby from blowing something up.
Rigby
It's true! I already broke the first camera we tried to record this with. [cut to Pops]
We all really look up to you, but also, you are our friend. And we'll miss you a lot, and...
[Pops starts crying loudly, Benson cries out in his sadness. Rigby places camera with the crew and Eileen]
All right, you get it. We'll miss you, so... don't go, all right?
Yeah, Benson. We can't do this without you.
[The title card appears that says "Space needs you, Benson!" and then the screen squiggles]
[scared] I made a huge mistake. [yells] I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPACE!!!
Rigby
[given up] We had a good run, man.
We're gonna get outta here, okay? [sits down] So just focus on thinking about good things, like hot wings... Strong Johns... Cheezers.
Rigby
Cheezers... I wish they had a Cheezers on the Space Tree.
Yeah. We got most of the stuff we had back on Earth, so it's still pretty cool.
Rigby
Yeah, but what are we gonna do when we leave the Space Tree to go on our mission?
[long beat] I don't know. What are we gonna do? Who knows what it's gonna be like out there? It might totally suck.
Rigby
Yeah, and good luck getting Rawls to tell you anything about it.
And dude, we don't even know when we're going back to Earth! Or if we're going back. [lies down with Rigby]
Rigby
Mordecai?
Y'know, even if we get out of this elevator, we're still trapped inside a big metal box floating through space. Any allusions we once had of being masters of our fate have been forfeited to a man who'd rather preoccupies with pushups than prepare us for whatever horrors await us out here in the cold infinite abyss.
Rigby
Dude, Mordecai! It's cool, man.
No, Rigby. It's not. Y'know, Fist Pump's a dumb band, but we may have just missed our last chance to see another rock concert. [beat] I miss Earth.
A few months ago, you folks were scrawny, weak, confused, drifting aimlessly in space. Utterly useless. Until the Space Tree graciously took you in. Was it a mistake? Only time will tell. And now those worthless, scrawny cadets stand before me as moderately serviceable Space Tree Rangers. And today, you'll graduate the Spark Initiative and soon be on your way to terraform your first planet. I've already sent the coordinates into your dome's navigational computer, along with your personal fighter ships. Today is graduation day. There will be a ceremony tonight with light refreshments, compliments of the Space Tree. Hope to see you there.
[All the space cadets cheer]
MRMordecai & Rigby
WHOOOOOOA! Graduation!
Rigby
Wow, one minute I'm graduating high school, and now I'm graduating space? Take that, Dad!
Hm-hm! I don't think "light refreshments" are gonna cut it.
[Back at the Space Tree, Mordecai and Rigby explain to Colonel Rawls about seeing Anti-Pops at the Comet Stop]
And he looked just like Pops! But evil!
Rigby
Yeah, like an opposite Pops!
[gasps in horror] He Who Will Erase Us. [turns on a microphone] Attention, Space Tree! This is your captain speaking! There's been a change of plans! You're all graduated, effective immediately! Congrats! Your first mission as Rangers starts now! Leave the Space Tree and get to your rendezvous points as soon as possible! Godspeed and good luck!
STSpace Tree Personnel
Sir! An unknown ship just docked with the Space Tree!
Regular Show · 562 quotes
