[yelling] PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! What's the one thing I told you?! Don't embarrass the family!
I don't think she's embarrassing it - Whoa! Why is she doing splits?
Huh, is this that Facebook thing I keep hearing about?
Does this thing take dollar bills?
Come on! That's my sister! And you're looking at her naked!
So? She's not our sister.
Why does Donut get to look?
Hey! Why does the Blue base get so much more natural light than ours? It gives the interior a much more airy and open feeling.
That's why Donut gets to look.
[frustrated] Oh, look, she is putting her armor back on!... Oh, I mean [changes tone] Oh, look! she is putting her armor back on. Good work, soldier!
It looks like the Blues are having some kind of meeting.
What? I knew it. They're coming to attack our base. Dirty back stabbers!
I thought the Blues were supposed to attack our base.
Simmons! What are they saying?
I have no idea. I can't find the volume on this monitor. Without any sound, it just looks like a bunch of helmets bobbing up and down.
Is that how they talk? They look ridiculous.
What about me? Can I get lost too?
No, Caboose. I need you to stay here and watch Shiela.
Yeah, if the transfer gets interrupted, we might lose her altogether.
Riiiiight. Otherwise, how would you accidentally kill people?
Well, I suppose I could always-
Shut up. That was rhetorical.
Well little dude, I guess there's a time when every little boy becomes a man.
Tucker he's only three days old.
Yeah, they grow up so fast.
Also he's not a boy, he's a grub.
The point is, you're on your own now, and I don't have time to tell you everything you need to know. So here's a few brief pointers: Invest in real estate, there's no such thing as a permanent record, always eat breakfast, all the girls on the internet are actually dudes, and you should never, ever buy the extended warranty on anything. Ever. Oh also, chicks like it when you tell them you're pretty, but they also like it when you're kind of a dick to 'em. So mix it up a little.
Okay, little dude, I gotta go now. Tex needs me and Church to back her up.
Huh. I guess you have been teaching him some stuff.
Teach? You don't teach that. Thats just genetic.
[Tex is approaching the Red base while Church and Tucker look on from a cliff.]
(through the sniper scope) I don't see anything at all. It's like they're all hiding or somethin'.
(annoyed) I just said I don't see anything, I just said that.
(whiny) Man, I hate that I never get the fucking sniper rifle!
Oh, yeah, boo hoo. All you've got is your stupid awesome sword, I feel so sorry for you.
Come on dude, just once. Let me use it, just one time, I won't ever ask again! Pleeeeeeeease? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?
Oh kickass! [They swap weapons.] Heh heh! Okay no, wait, how do I zoom? I'm zoomed!
Hey Tucker, the sword doesn't even work. What a fuckin' gyp.
Tucker: Now how do I—wait what is this thing?
Okay, whatever dude, just don't-
[Tucker shoots Tex in the ass]
What the fuck, did you just fire that thing?
Oops! That was an accident.
We're supposed to be sneaking up on them, dumbass! [Tucker sees Tex approaching them through the scope.] They're gonna hear us, gimme it back!
Um, yeah, okay take it back.
[They swap weapons again.]
I knew there was a reason I didn't let you use this thing all these years. Hey, Tex, what're you doing back?
[Tex punches Church in the face.]
OW! What the fuck did I do!?
I told him to be careful with that thing. He's just not very good with it.
