Ted quotes from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

[looking at glass stained window] Lord please make this window go away.

I hope he doesn't rush too much shucking the oysters or he might shuck his hand off. That would be a shucking tragedy.

The theme in the kitchen appears to be: A bomb went off.

Life is to short to drink cheap booze.

Look! I caught a fag! I caught a homosexual!

I can't believe I asked an ex marine to make a chocolate souffle.

And he's already pounding the liquor. An athlete after my own heart.

[about Costco] They've got trampolines. They've got plastic TVs. They have tube socks. They have the best tube socks. Ever.

God forbid you drink something at Butch's place.

Come on boys, let's motor!

Cheers queers.

I was just thinking about something. What are the other three guys doing back at my house?

Back at your house they've probably loaded up the spraying painter and are painting your house pink.

We can rebuild you.

Make you better then you were.

Now turn, turn, turn to the camera. What were you doing?

Eating.

What were you eating?

Cake.

And who does that cake belong to?

John and Ayanna.

That's right, and they are...

Straight people.

What is that? Wasabi paste?

That's a lot of wasabi.

The kids are going to love that.

That's gonna shut the party down like a bad ferris wheel.

Five gay men cleaning one house. One straight man, that's all it takes, just one dirty straight man.

And five gay men.

Laura, what does this spell?

Tragic.

And who's tragic?

My dad.