Thom quotes from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

[using a child's telephone] It's 1984. They want their decorations back.

My God, it's like a Toys-R-Us crack den.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, because it's not something I say often in my line of work, but my favorite thing in your living room is your fire hydrant.

It just looks like you blindfolded yourself, walked around the neighborhood on, like, trash night, and dragged this stuff back in your house.

He's neurotic and needy. God he's like everyone I date!

[enters the shop before Steven] Sorry, ladies before gentlemen.

Let me get this straight - your friend, is a straight hairstylist, with wicker furniture. I think he's got something he's not telling you.

Remember when you told me you'd make out with me if I got you a flat screen TV? Well pucker up, baby!

Run like a woman Ted!

Ew, I can't believe I just wiped my hands on something in this apartment.

You live in a dump like a crazy person. This is freaking me out.

It's like taking a wire hanger from the cleaners and faux-painting it wood.

[holds up an ugly sweater] Now how come he wears this and has a girlfriend, yet I wear these fabulous clothes and I'm single?

You guys, look. This is my pile of stuff I don't like. Is it getting too big?

Wouldn't it be embarrassing if you're a coach and you got your ass kicked by a gay decorator?