Gus quotes from Psych

Shawn

This is a great plan! Camden McCallum deserves to be commended.

Gus

Maybe you should date him too!

Shawn

Maybe I will!

Gus

You don't smell that?

Shawn

I don't smell anything.

Gus

That's because you don't have the Super Smeller!

Shawn

Okay, you have got to stop calling your nose the Super Smeller. If you want to nickname a body part, nickname your butt, man. Call it the Tight-Bouncer or the Hexagon. Ladies are gonna dig that.Bold text

Shawn

Banana.

Can you repeat that?

Shawn

Yes. Ba-NA-na.

Gus

[whispering] Banana, Shawn? It's the third round.

Shawn

[whispering] You could have helped me.

Gus

[whispering] This is a dead end, Shawn. We're leaving.

Definition, please.

Shawn

[to himself] What...?

Shawn

[into the microphone] A yellow fruit. Also, a kind of pudding. A delicious pudding.

Sentence, please.

Shawn

Anna Banana would like to hear "Venus" by Bananarama. Banana!

B-A-N-A-N-A. Banana.

Shawn

Onion.

Gus

[shocked] Onion?!

Onion?

[To another judge] Onion? Even Dan Quayle could spell that!

Gus

So now I have a cat?

Shawn

An orange tabby. Last year you made her a tiny Santa hat, it was adorable.

Gus

Fantastic, now I can't even have an imaginary boy cat.

Shawn

Gus, a boy cat wouldn't serve my purposes nearly as well. The next time I need you, Pickles is having kittens.

Gus

Pickles?

Shawn

Mrs. Pickles is her full name. Though I'm not actually sure cats can marry outside of Boston.

Gus

Yeah? Well, in a related issue, I'm blocking your number on all the phones in the office.

Gus

I just got a lap dance from Patrick Swayze!

Shawn

What, you mean like an impersonator?

Gus

No, I think it was actually Patrick Swayze!

Gus

I just got a lap dance from Patrick Swayze!

Shawn

Gus, it was probably some sort of interpretive...

Gus

No, I think it was actually Patrick Swayze!

Shawn

I'm not a mind reader.

Gus

No, that's just what you tell everybody.

Gus

How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?

Shawn

What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?

Shawn

The cat is not my new partner, Gus; don't be ridiculous.

Gus

Then tell me again why the cat gets to ride shotgun?

Shawn

Let me tell you something. This cat here is a gift, a conduit for us to save lives. And he has more integrity in his furry little hand...

Gus

Paw.

Shawn

Paw. Than most people have in their whole appendages... Appendages?

Gus

What?

Shawn

All of. Than most people have in all of their appendages... combined.

There is a Lt. Crunch here to see you.

Gus

Crunch?

Shawn

Actually I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.

Shawn

Oh relax, I did some checking on Nelson Poe, nobody liked him, ever! And second of all...

Gus

What?

Shawn

Dude, I don't have a "second of all"!

Gus

When I asked her her name, Shawn, she said, "My name--"

Shawn

"My name is Wilting Flower, I died without knowing love. Will you be my friend?"

Gus

H-how did you know that? I never told that to anyone before!

Shawn

I was Wilting Flower! Gus! I can't believe you fell for that!

Gus

Don't touch that, it's blood.

Shawn

It's not blood.

Gus

Enjoy your hepatitis.