Phineas quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Phineas

Actually, instead of improving one of our old inventions, we should make something brand new! Something simple.

Phineas

Well, what is summer all about?

[singing "Summer (Where Do We Begin?)"] ♪ Summer is running through the sprinklers in your T-shirt, shoes, and... ♪

Phineas

Yeah, we all know the song. But I'm not exactly sure how....

Candace

And now, I must leave. My public awaits.

Stacy

Yeah, and I must go be famous by association. Yeeha!

Phineas

And to think, we knew Stacy before she was famous by association.

Later that day, to make their escape, those boys crawled through 500 yards of foul-smelling nastiness I can't even imagine. 500 yards. That's the length of 11 baseball diamonds, one tennis court, a medium-sized male elephant, and a croquet wicket. It wasn't long before they found everything that they needed.

Phineas

Great! Let's hurry up and put this thing together.

Baljeet

But if we do the mind swap here, those criminals will still be out of jail.

Phineas

You're right! I hadn't thought of that.

So even later that day, those boys crawled back through 500 yards of foul-smelling nastiness that I-

Baljeet

Actually, it is not as bad as you would think.

Buford

Yeah! Gunge is actually quite refreshing!

Oh. Well, it was still 500 yards. That's the length of two volleyball courts, a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier, a large three-drawer filing cabinet, three French-

Buford

We're not listening anymore!

Oh. Okay, then.

Isabella

[showing up in the backyard; worried] Phineas, Pinky's missing!

Phineas

Aw, that's too bad, Isabella.

Buford

Chihuahuas, that's the first thing zombies go for.

Phineas

Uh, we moved past zombies, Buford.

Isabella

He's been gone all morning! He didn't even touch his breakfast burrito. What am I going to do?

Gretchen

We could put up posters.

Buford

We could do nothing.

Phineas

We could make a portable positronic canine detector using the old factory receptors that Ferb and I were gonna use for our milligram scale purification study.

Isabella

Let's do that one!

Candace

You kids have fun. Really, I wish I could stay and bust you, but I have a lunch date with Jeremy down at City Hall.

Baljeet

City Hall serves lunch?

Buford

I thought they only served subpoenas! [pause] Oh, come on! What's a guy gotta do to get a rimshot around here?!

Candace

For your information, I'm going down to City Hall because Jeremy's working the Slushy Dawg concession stand at the food court there. And we're gonna have lunch... together. [kneels down to Isabella] Don't worry, Isabella. I'm sure Pinky'll turn up. Perry always does. [concerned] Speaking of which, where is Perry?

Isabella

And where's Pinky?

Buford

Right here! Right here, he- What? [takes off the helmet] He should be right here! Oh, man!

Phineas

I don't get it. Maybe the helmet needs to be fine-tuned.

Buford

Yeah, you guys do that. I'm gonna go get a Slushy Dawg.

Phineas

Okay, gang. Today, we're gonna tie a legendary knot.

Buford

Woah woah woah! We're just startin'?! No—no intro, nothin'?! Just gettin' right into it?

Phineas

Yep, we're just doin' the knot.

Buford

Wait, how can we do somethin' not?

Phineas

No, it's "knot" spelled with a "k".

Buford

I didn't think it was spelled with a "k".

Phineas

No. It's "knot".....spelled with a "k".

Buford

I don't understand your pauses.

Phineas

Gentlemen and gentlemen, we present to you the Chupa-Copter!

Wow! Right on! Etcetera.

Linda

Boys, are you here? I just wanted to say- [gasps] Phineas! Ferb! You are so busted!

Candace

What? Get out of the way! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Did I hear you just bust Phineas and Ferb?

Linda

I certainly did. [Candace giggles under] What are my guest towels doing out here? And they're filthy!

Candace

[stops giggling] Towels?

Phineas

Oh, sorry, Mom.

Candace

Towels?!

Phineas

We'll clean it up.

Linda

Yeah, you do right on that.

Phineas

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, babies and slightly smaller babies, welcome to the Phineas and Ferb Ultimate Obstacle Course! The first team that makes it all the way to the end (you know, alive and stuff) will win this nifty trophy! So are you ready to get muddy?

Candace

That tears it! Those two are so—

Stacy

Hang on, Candace! We can win this!

Candace

Yeah, we ca—Wait, what?

Stacy

I want that trophy!

Candace

Why?

Very good, Ginger. We'll put it up here with the rest of your awards. I'm...still saving a place for your trophy, Stacy. You know, just in case.

Stacy

Uh... [cut back to her and Candace] ...Uh... Candace, we'd make an awesome team!

Candace

Alright, I'll do it!

Stacy

For the trophy!

Candace

And for whatever it was you were thinking about just now.

Candace

[with Stacy on the red team] We are so ready!

Isabella

What was that about?

Ginger

Oh, that's our secret code for "I love you, sis"… I think.

Phineas

Good luck, contestants! And watch out for giant worms! On your marks...

Candace

Wait, what?

Phineas

Get set...

Candace

Did he say, "giant worms"?!

Phineas

Go!

Spider-Man

Aunt May, Phineas and Ferb are making a crossover.

Phineas

Yeah, we are!

Phineas

Ferb, are you expecting someone?

Ferb

[opens the front door, revealing the Marvel Avengers standing at the doorway] Not them.

Spider-Man

Aren't you a little young to be stealing superheroes' superpowers?

Phineas

Yes. Yes, we would be, Spider-Man, if we actually did it. But like I said, I don't think we did.

You can't see it, but I have a rather severe look of disappointment on my face.

Isabella

[puts a juice box in his mouth] This'll turn that tin frown upside-down.

Juice-in-a-box? We have nothing like this in Asgard.

[grunting while having trouble putting the straw in the juice box] Straw cannot penetrate!

Spider-Man

Hey, hey, hey! Calm blue ocean. Let me take care of that for ya, buddy.

Thanks, Isabella. Well, the power-siphoning ray originated from the Tri-State Area. And I was thinking you guys would know something about it since it bounced off your space station.

Phineas

Are you sure it was our space station?

It was shaped like your head.

Phineas

Well, that sounds like ours, but we don't know anything about a power-siphoning ray.

I was afraid of that. Well, the first thing we gotta do is get our powers back.

Phineas

Ferb, I know what we're gonna d-

Candace

[coming downstairs] Alright, boys and girls, listen up, Mom's on a walking tour of Danville and Dad's tinkering in the basement, so I'm in charge. That means no shenanigans! Hey, Spider-Man. So I'll be over at Stacy's all... d-d-d-day?!

Spider-Man

'Sup?

Greetings, fair young maiden!

Candace

It's super...heroes...in...duh...our...kitchen!

Isabella

Candace is gonna lie down for a while. [leads Candace out of the kitchen and back to her bedroom] That's it. Just breathe. They're only superheroes.

Phineas

Looks like you guys have a fan.

Oh, boy. [tips over]

And it's probably good she didn't see that.

I'm okay.

Phineas

Hey, where's Perry?

Phineas

Ladies and gentlemen...and Hulk, allow me to unveil our Secret Hideout for Emergency Defects. Or S.H.E.D. for short.

I think we're gonna need something a little...bigger.

Phineas

Oh, the rustic exterior's a facade. Wait till you see the inside!

Oh, man! You guys are good!

Ferb

Just a little British sci-fi technology.

Candace

Wow. There's something you don't see every… [notices Phineas' outraged expression; confused] What?

Phineas

[scolds his sister Candace] Really, Candace? Do you have any idea what you just did?!

Candace

I was just trying to help.

Phineas

Well, your "help" this morning messed us up so badly, we came this close to being wiped out at the mall! I thought you would've learned your lesson!

Candace

But... but I—

Phineas

But, no! You show up again to help, and now Baljeet has been hulkified and is rampaging who knows where! And we're back to square one with restoring the heroes' powers!

Candace

But...but—

Phineas

This is just too important, and we can't afford any more setbacks! I'm revoking your S.H.E.D. card. [takes off her lanyard and rips up her card] You have to go, NOW!

Buford

I've always told her, don't ever make Phineas angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Phineas

Isabella, you've been awfully quiet all day.

Isabella

I have just earned my "24 Hours of Silence" patch! I can see why you don't talk much, Ferb. I actually quite enjoyed it. I ended up having an inner dialogue with myself all day.

Ferb

Welcome to Ferbland.

Yes, the universe is constantly expanding.

But what is it expanding into?

Ooh...

Okay, now my mind is blown.