Marcia quotes from Parks and Recreation

Joan Callamezzo

So Marcia what's all this fuss about?

Marcia

The fuss is that Miss Knope claimed that she was not advocating for this gay cause, and then that very night, she was the guest of honor at a pro-gay marriage rally at a bar called The Bulge.

Joan Callamezzo

Miss Knope, how do you respond?

Leslie

I'd first like to say that I wasn't trying to advocate for anyone. I did not know that both of the penguins were males, and I was just trying to perform a cute, fun ceremony to promote our local zoo.

Joan Callamezzo

I have to say that that stunt that you did with the penguins was clearly over the line. Now, Marcia, what, if anything, can Miss Knope do to make it right?

Marcia

Now Joan we don't want to be unreasonable.

Joan Callamezzo

Of course not.

Marcia

We think that she should separate the penguins, annul the marriage, reimburse the taxpayers for the cost of the wedding, of course, and then resign.

Leslie

[sarcastically] Oh! Is that it!? Anything else? You want me to jump off a building? Perform hara-kiri?

Marcia

Move to a different town! No, I kid.

Marcia

So how do you wanna do this? Burn it publicly or burn it privately and I put the footage on my blog...

Leslie

You've made your point okay? Look this painting is very important to me. It doesn't need to hang in a government building, just let me take it home and we'll keep it there. What do you say?

Marcia

I say this painting is going to burn. First here, then in Hell. [Pulls out parking stub] Do I need to get this validated?

Leslie

I don't...I don't know...

Marcia

No? Okay then great I'm just gonna pull my car around and you can load it in the back.

Leslie

No!

Marcia

Hey! Come back here!

Leslie

Make me stag! I am Diaphena!

Marcia

If we allow this filth to be taught to our seniors then the next thing you know it'll be in our high schools and our kindergartens and before you know it, we have babies in thong underwear. Is that what you want?

Leslie

[sarcastically] Yes that's what I want.

Marcia

I'm so glad you finally came to your senses.

Here's our educational pamphlet. I recommend you start reading at chapter three.

Leslie

[flips to chapter three] Chapter Three: There's A Party In Your Pants & No-one Is Invited...

Ann

This is crazy, I mean obviously the best way to prevent disease is to magically stop all sex but that's not gonna happen!

Marcia

Well maybe not where you come from in TRAMPsylvania.

Hahaha good one honey! [They high five and then walk away]

Ann

I'm from Michigan! ...That wasn't worth saying.