Sean quotes from Nip/Tuck

Sean

I know you've slept with some strange types, Christian, but a 50-year-old school principal?

Christian

Put it on my tomb stone. Here lies Christian Troy. He was never predictable.

Christian

There are times I want to feel more May, than September for a change.

Christian

There's really no point in having a consultation without the patient present.

She's a gorilla.

Sean

Well, I'm sure you're exaggerating.

Sean

The Hutton Academy is not a military school. It's a disciplinary institution.

Christian

And the two plums between my legs are not balls, they're testicles.

Matt

You wouldn't dare mess up your most perfect work.

Sean

I already have!

Sean

I have an 8:30 lift with Quentin.

Christian

Make sure you don't drop the scalpel. Our new partner plays for both teams.

Sean

Could you have misinterpreted?

Christian

I've never had a buddy of mine stick his pinky up my ass just for shits and giggles.

Christian

I think he has a man-crush on you.

Sean

Me? It is you that he's trying to screw!

Sean

My guess it's phantom pain.

Christian

Who do I see for phantom pain, Ghostbusters?

Sean

The police found a condom a the crime scene with Christian's DNA.

Quentin

So? The police planted it, that happens all the time.

Sean

DNA doesn't lie.

Quentin

Ask O.J. He'll tell you otherwise.

Christian

If I didn't fight back, it's because in some kind of way I feel like I deserve it.

Sean

For what?

Christian

For what? For screwing Julia when you were engaged, for cheating on every girlfriend I've ever had, for charging ten grand to raise a pair of sagging tits on some socialite bitch, for generally being a soulless man. Take your pick.

Six figures isn't doing it for you anymore?

Sean

I want to be of service. I left my practice, my wife, my son and daughter. I always thought I'd die without them but I didn't. I'm alive. Alive with nothing to live for.

Could you speak up? It's hard to hear through all those violins.

Sean

Just what you always wanted, right? No ethical restraints and a shitload of money.

Christian

You left out sexual depravity and devil worship.

Sean

That's what families are for--breaking our hearts.

And putting them back together.

Sean

I am in the middle of packing up my house.

Christian

And Quentin and I are in the middle of a facial transplant!

Sean

I know this is hard for you, Christian. I've been either at your side or in the next room for every one of your surgeries but you need to get used to having an identity as a doctor without me.

Christian

This isn't about me. This is about a patient, a young girl who deserves to be more than just a failed ego-driven experiment written up in medical journals.

Sean

Since Julia and I split up, have you and she ever talked about giving it a try?

Christian

I don't think we've both ever been single at the same time.

Sean

That's not an answer.

Christian

I don't harbour any feelings for her if that's what you're asking. I wouldn't do that to you. Again.

Christian

Maybe I'll always be alone. Maybe thats just the way it's meant to be.

Sean

You know, you've never really been alone.

Christian

Really? My bride left me at the altar. My partner left me for a midlife crisis. Am I missing something?

Sean

I can help you with one of those things. I'd like to come back to the practice.

Christian

You mean that?

Sean

I do.