[Gibbs and Mann kiss in her bedroom.]
Before we do this, I just need to know one thing. How did you get the damn boat out of your basement?
S4 E13Sharif Returns
[Gibbs and the team pull up at an internet cafe]
I got a bad feeling about this. [looks at McGee] We let the Elf Lord go in and we may never get him out.
Getting old Tony.
Tony, you and Ziva take the back. Elf Lord, you're with me.
So this is the guy Ziva was drooling on.
I wasn't drooling!
At least I saw you undressing him with your bedroom eyes.
At least I'm not the one asking him if he waxed his eyebrows.
S4 E14Blowback
You were supposed to keep Mister Harrow under surveillance, not chase him into a coronary!
Director, once he made us, we had to take him into custody, didn't we?
No, the Director's right. We could of let Haro escape. If he sold ARES, we could of caught "Black Rose" or "La Grenouille" selling it to Iran!
Don't be cute, Officer David! I'm saying there had to be a better way! Right Tony? [Jenny glares at Tony for some support]
Uh, that's right Director. They could've -
- Shot him.
That's right, they could have shot him.
Of course, in high octane situation, Ziva reverts to her Mossad training and probably would've put a round through his heart.
Three rounds...
And McGee, not to be outdone, would've -
- Added three more rounds.
Gibbs...
See, there you go. Six rounds, same result. One dead Mister Harrow.
[Ducky walks over to the group]
I signed for the body. Cause of death was most likely a - [noticing Jenny glaring at Gibbs] Am I interrupting?
Not at all, Doctor. We were just discussing the various ways NCIS could have killed Mister Harrow besides chasing him to death!
I am interrupting... [Turns around and starts to walk away]
Doctor! [Ducky turns back] Death was most likely caused by?
Myocardial Infarction. It was probably brought on by a combination of a high fat Western diet, little exercise, and the mistaken belief he could run up all those stairs. Rigorous for most - rigor mortis for him.
Anything else?
Well, not until I do the - [Jenny glares at Gibbs and then hurries off] - autopsy.
That's Ares?
According to McGeek. Ziva watch the road!
I have great peripheral vision.
My sphincter doesn't.
At least we won't have trouble finding it.
Really?
Tony, it's the size of an ATM!
Will you tell me her name if I find the pirate's copy of ARES?
Pirated copy.
That's what I said.
No, you said pirate's copy. A pirate is a person like 'Captain Jack Sparrow'. A pirated copy...
Who is 'Jack Sparrow'?
Johnny Depp.
He's a pirate?
No, he's an actor.
Oh.
How did we get here?
I drove.
This is going to be like looking for a needle in a needle stack
Needle in a haystack.
I like my description better.
[as Ziva enters] Oh, this should be interesting. Goliath, I'd like you to meet one of our Israeli friends.
[Ziva slaps Lissack.]
[in Hebrew] You are a traitor to our country and our people.
ELEli "Goliath" Lissack
[in Hebrew] I never sell weapons to Hamas or Hezbollah!
[Furious, she grabs him by the front of his coat.]
[in English] You sell to people who do!
You're lucky she doesn't have her slingshot.
ELEli "Goliath" Lissack
Zaire? You are taking me to Zaire?
You sold a shipment of RPGs to their army. They were very disappointed with the quality of the merchandise.
I believe the President himself is eager to discuss how you stiffed him.
He, in turn, has some information Mossad needs...
And we owe Mossad a favor since they told us you were in D.C., so here we are. We deliver you to Zaire, the President gives Mossad the information it needs, and everyone is happy.
[eyeing Goliath] Well, not everyone.
ELEli "Goliath" Lissack
[desperate] Please, I-I am very wealthy. I have diamonds!
[pretends to wince] Ooh, you had diamonds. This jet is very expensive, and somebody had to pay for it.
S4 E15Friends & Lovers
[Ziva is teaching knife throwing. Tony off to the side is eating Froot Loops and smirking]
At Mossad we have a saying: Knives don't run out of bullets. Now, any questions pertaining to this class?
I've got one. You ever killed anyone with a spoon?
No, but I am seriously considering it.
[Lee draws back her hand to throw a knife. It flies out of her hand and hits the wall behind them, narrowly missing Gibbs as he enters.]
I thought you said you grew up around weapons?
LLee
I did. I didn't say my father let me near them.
McGee, you find any more maggots crawling around you bag them for evidence.
Ziva, I would give you a hundred dollars to trade with me.
You're afraid of bugs, McGee?
Bugs, no. Wriggling faceless blob creatures crawling inside human flesh, yes.
Believe it or not I used to feel the same way.
How'd you get over it?
I've found that if you are hungry enough they actually don't taste that bad.
I hereby accept your challenge. We will meet on the field at dawn. Weapons: Caffeine fueled intellect versus cold silicon based intelligence. Until then I bid you a good day sir. (turn around to see Ziva and McGee behind her who are trying not to laugh) Hi.
Hi. you talk to your Mass Spectrometer?
Ya, sometimes. Why?
You challenged it to a duel.
Well it spit out a chemical composition that I'm not familiar with. There has to be some sense of decorum around here. I'm running it through the computer now.
Well, Gibbs is more interested in this. (holds up a pink, laminated card) Did you find anything yet?
When, McGee. If you haven't noticed, I'm the only one here! Which may be why I started talking to my machines in the first place.
Well, Abbs, I've got to tell him something.
Tell him you love him, McGee. It works for me.
(walks in with a Caf-Pow) Not all the time.
(Tony, Ziva, and Carson watching Gibb's interrogation)
It's almost unfair interrogating junkies.
It's like shooting fish in a pond.
CCarson
I um… I think you mean a barrel.
Why would a fish be in a barrel?
CCarson
Um... I, um... it's a good point. I never really thought about it before.
Mm-hmm.
(Tony and Ziva looking at a vacation website)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.