TV show quotes
Got something for ya! (dumps folders in front of Kate)
(sarcastically) Okay...what is it!
Eight years of Sgt. Alvarez's files. Sorted into category!
Which are?
Gonna leave that part up to you!
Oh, Come on Gibbs! At least tell me what i'm looking for!
The same thing we're all looking for Kate! (walks out) A murderer!
(dumps her pen on her desk) Why didn't I take the damn dolls!
(as she is watching Tony try and use chopsticks) Relax your hand or you're never gonna get it in your mouth!
(as another bundle of noodles slip out of the chopsticks) I'm trying but the thing's too damn slippery!
Never gonna impress a girl that way!
Oh Whatever! Just the next time we do this Kate make sure they (drops more noodles) don't forget the forks! (Kate smiles as she successfully puts noodles in her mouth) No-one like a show-off! (after he fails again at eating noodles) Okay. Screw this! You got any soup? (Kate passes it over carefully as it's hot) Ah...thanks!
(getting out the elevator) That had better not be mine, DiNozzo!
(freezes) Gibbs ordered soup? (glares silently at Kate who nods smugly) Great! (as Gibbs glares at him) If it's any consolation it's not very good!
(stares at the noodles) Whose chow mein?
(with noodles in her mouth) Tony's!
(takes the box) Good!
Next time drive a little faster, Tony. I think my glands still have an ounce of adrenaline left.
Response to a crime scene investigation demands a timely arrival, Kate.
It would help if the investigators didn't puke all over it.
Brings back memories.
Memories of what?
Marriage.
You're not the only one who knows how to profile.
Maybe. But with that haircut you wouldn't pass for an ROTC student. [smiles at Tony]
[Tony is undercover as an electrician installing sensor bugs in the electric poles for the undercover operation]
Gibbs gets dress blue charlies. I look like one of the Village People.
[via Tony's earpiece] [laughs] Maybe you can find a local cop and get a dance routine going.
Major, your mission is to protect our country. Our mission right now is to protect you and your Marines. Allow us the honor of doing our job.
Anything Abby?
This is the left rear tire off Commander Julius's car. Notice anything unusual?
It's inflated.
Is that a guess, or do you actually know where I'm going with this?
What do you think?
Well, I don't know, that's why I asked you.
Why don't you just tell me?
So you don't know.
I want to make sure you know.
Hmmmm.
Hmmmm.
We should play poker sometime.
Yeah, we should.
I thought I was going mad. I mean, the two autopsies were nearly identical. It was déjà vu all over again.
Hey, that's a Yogi Berra quote.
The cartoon character?
Not Yogi Bear, Yogi Berra.
Well, judging by your reaction, he's either a sportsperson or a bouncer at a strip club.
Gentlemen's club.
This autopsy give us anything the other one didn't?
The bullet was in better shape. And I noticed something peculiar in his nose, so I did a swab.
A swab, Duck? Kind of old school, isn't it?
Oh, I just go where the evidence takes me. I recall a case in my early career, yeah, before we had the benefit of all this marvelous technology. A young man, barely 20 years old, he had jelly from a doughnut on his face.
Ducky?
Yes?
What did you find in his nose?
Cellulosic fiber, lignin.
Wood.
Well, sawdust, to be precise.
Hey, Boss, don't you have some kind of weird thing about women and sawdust? I don't think it's weird.
Laura Seeger said that her husband had a woodshop out back.
Yeah, well, she also said he hadn't used it in a month. I mean, it wouldn't still be there in his nose after a month, would it, Ducky?
No, that was recent.
Well, he could've been woodworking somewhere else.
Yeah, he could've.
Yeah, something else showed up on the swab. A dog's hair.
Laura Seeger had two dogs in the back. But she seems to have a solid alibi.
One of her errands was to the bank. Charlie could give us the surveillance tapes. They'd all be time-stamped.
Yeah, but if she was guilty, why would she just offer up her DNA so freely?
Because she didn't know we had something to match it to.
I love everything Swiss! Knives, cheese... the Alps! I even like ABBA!
Do all Marines build boats?
Only the ones who've been married a few times.
Why's that?
The rest of them can afford to buy one.
[Tony, Kate, and Gibbs are sitting in wait against their car after Gibbs claims he saw a bomb in the house they were searching]
Are you sure it was a bomb, Gibbs?
Yes, DiNozzo. For the last time... I'm sure it was a bomb.
If you say so. EOD sure taking their sweet time getting here.
[Van arrives with Ducky and Gerald]
Sorry we're late. Gerald got us lost several times.
Me? You had the map.
We have our own problems here, Ducky.
Yeah, I can see that. FBI take over our crime scene again?
Gibbs thought he saw a bomb.
[annoyed] What do you mean 'thought'?
Do I really have to say it?
Say what?
Yes, Kate. Say what?
You need glasses, Gibbs. Are you happy?
[behind them, the house suddenly explodes, sending everyone exclaiming to the ground]
[slowly lifting his head] Sorry. I didn't quite catch that last part...
You're under arrest.
For what?
Pissing off the FBI.
Get used to it.
Where the hell are you? Fornell's here with a warrant for your arrest.
Well, good thing I'm not there then.
Tony, touch my cell phone again, I'll break your fingers. (The Elevator door closes)
(Attempts to reassure) You know he really does like you.
(to Ari Haswari) I look forward to weighing your liver.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
