Abby Sciuto quotes from NCIS

Abby

McGee, you're lurking without a permit.

You know; I never understand why people drink alcohol when they're depressed - because alcohol is a depressant. So now; I'm still depressed; and I'm nauseus...and I'm really drunk. Which means that tomorrow, I'm going to have to fight off a hangover while I'm in court, and some ambulance-chasing attorney tries to attack my credibility.

Abby

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts!

Abby

[her eyes are closed] Do you think it's ESP? [Gibbs walks out] I mean, that you always know when I find something, and if it is ESP, are you reading my mind, or am I sending you some sort of brain thoughts out of my head and into yours? [she turns around, opens her eyes, realizing he's not here and shuts them again] Come back Gibbs. Come back Gibbs.

Abby

Technically, it was a squatting hug, or squg.

Abby

[speaking to her computers and devices] Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Okay, I know you guys have been working really hard lately, and I promised that you could have the weekend off, but this sounds like an emergency, so I need everybody to get those electrons flowing! If anybody is not up to it, I need to know now, not when the Director arrives. Something's wrong. [walks up to her stereo and turns up music, then heads back to her computer and breathes in deeply] Ready.

Abby

Yes, because neither rain nor sleet nor any class of simple atomic substance will keep me from my appointed duty, sir!

Abby

This is why I love you guys. You bring me hair, you bring me blood, you bring me fluids... and mercury.

Abby

This is so cool. Someone writes your service number on a roof and then you just show up! It's like it's sending out the bat signal and having Batman just show up. [looks at Franks] And his mentor Ra's al Ghul. [Franks looks at her blankly, Gibbs smiles at Franks] Or like Princess Leia sending a hologram, help me Obi-Wan. And then getting Obi-Wan with his mentor Qui-Gon Jinn. [Franks smiles at her blankly] You know it's weird, 'cause Liam Neeson played both their mentors.

Abby

C'mon McGee! Type something about the something into something!

Abby

Great, now I have to build a freaking coffin!

Abby

Okay, the victim, Leonard Caswell, postal worker. He was shot at point blank range by Robert Perry. It's kind of funny; a non-postal worker going postal on a postal worker. Not funny like, ha-ha funny, but funny like comically absurdly amusing funny. Like irony, comedy is very subjective.

Abby

[to Gibbs] I can hear you staring.

Abby

What are you hiding? [Gibbs pulls a Caf-Pow! from behind his back] Oh, no! It's too late, I can't! [pulls a NoCaf-Pow! from behind his back] Gibbs, you are an enabler and I love you for it!

Abby

I finally IDed the tire tracks to the SwiftCast getaway car. I got the make and model. It only took me 72 times longer than it usually does. How did people survive before there was pattern recognizing sparse representation algorithms?