Leroy Jethro Gibbs quotes from NCIS

Tony

What's your chute number?

Four.

Tony

Four's unlucky in China.

Gibbs

We're not in China.

Gibbs

We're going with you boys. NCIS training mission.

Now why don't I believe that? Hell, why not! Hate to pass up an opportunity to toss a couple of NCIS agents out of a plane.

Gibbs

Come on, lets get you boots, you can't do field work in heels.

Tony

Depends what kind of field work!

Tony

My dad gave me a power sander for my birthday. I don't really power-sand much.You're welcome to it.

Gibbs

Besides that bare bulb and that plug going to that idiot box do you see a power cord anywhere around here?

Tony

You use hand tools, huh?

Gibbs

I use my hands.

Tony

Jumping's gotta be so cool.

Gibbs

Hey. You wanna play paratrooper? Pay $180 dollars and take your class like all those other weekend warriors.

Tony

Yeah, I have so many weekends free.

Why are you jumping with us, Sir?

Tony

I always wanted to jump. Agent Gibbs came along to laugh.

Hard to believe Dave killed Thumper over a lousy two week suspension, Sir.

Gibbs

Yeah.

Thumper rode him, Sir, but no more than the rest of us. It just doesn't make sense.

Tony

Oh no!

Gibbs

What? Chickening out?

Tony

Thirteen. It's my first jump and my reserve number is number Thirteen.

Gibbs

Wouldn't have bothered Thumper, would it, guys? (Brinkman and Dafelmair look at each other)

Gibbs

Either of you superstitious?

No, Sir.

Gibbs

Great. Why don't you swap with Corporal Brinkman?

Tony

What's your reserve chute number?

Four.

Tony

Four? No, four's unlucky in China.

Gibbs

We're not in China.

Tony

I don't care. What's your number?

Eight.

Tony

Great. Eight's lucky in China.

Gibbs

There a problem?

No, Sir.

Tony

Look who I found. MPs weren't gonna let her pass.

Kate

I've got my SIG and badge, but HQ didn't issue my photo ID. Oh my, God. Is this for real?

Ducky

Unfortunately, my dear, it is.

Gibbs

(Hands Kate gloves) Put 'em on.

Ducky

Huh, your first crime scene with us, Caitlin.

Kate

What about Air Force One?

Ducky

Doesn't count, you were in the Secret Service. Hey, Tony, take a team photo for posterity.

Gibbs

Forget posterity. The sun's gonna be up soon. Welcome to NCIS. [hands Kate a pair of boots]

Kate

How did you know my size?

Gibbs

Put 'em on. You can't work a field in high heels. [smiles]

Tony

Depends on the kind of work you're doing.

Kate

Your mind, DiNozzo, runs the gamut from "X" to triple "X".

Tony

Yeah?

Why didn't you just ask to see my key?

Gibbs

Agent Todd is new. Just teaching her how to interrogate!

Wait. You suspected me! That's why you wanted to know what I'd been doing all day!

Kate

If the Captain was a suspect...wouldn't we have read him his rights?

Gibbs

Very good, Agent Todd! Great!

Gibbs

It's just a lump of dead skin!

Kate

Well there's an armed forces registry. All their DNA would be on file!

Gibbs

That was created to identify bodies ONLY!

Kate

Well there's gotta be a way around that!

Gibbs

Now you're thinking like an NCIS agent! (Kate smiles at him and bites her lip)

Abby

You're looking at infrared of Bolivia's Best!

Gibbs

Cocaine?

Tony

The killer's using it?

Abby

Oh no way! The rock's too pure! This is probably from the cutting and the weighing!

Kate

Why don't I think that Thumper was killed cause of Cpl Ramsey's rigging?

Gerald

You shoved a French cop off a cliff?

Ducky

There was a lake below!

Gibbs

Sixty feet below.

Kate

He's been searching for a case, any case, since I came in.

Tony

[reading from an e-mail] "All agents not working active cases are to attend the sexual harassment lecture at the NCIS human resource training center at 0930 hours today."

Gibbs

[deadpan] I cannot sit through another one of those. I will shoot myself.

Kate

You mean they train you guys how to harass? [Gibbs turns and looks at her] Hey, I'm kidding, except for Tony.

Tony

For the last time, Kate, I was only trying to get my seatbelt on.

Gibbs

Well, we might get lucky

Kate

(typing on her laptop) No-one's that lucky!

Gibbs

We are

Kate

He could be a service man doing his job!

Gibbs

(as the terrorist starts shooting he yells) No, I don't think so!

Tony

No boss, you don't understand. I love Puerto Rico.

Kate

Been there a lot?

Tony

[excited at the beginning...trailing off at the end] No that's just it, I've never been there... I mean I'm so wanting to go. Ever since I was a kid I was just...so wanting...sorry...I just always...

Gibbs

[deadpan] Wanted to be there.

Tony

Yeah.

Tony

Aren't you guys interested at all in what I brought you back from Puerto Rico?

[sighing] Sure. Fine.

Kate

You gotta be kidding.

Tony

A bikini. Two-piece.

Kate

A bottom. And a hat??

Tony

Puerto Rican!

Gibbs

Any chance you're going to try that on?

Kate

[tosses it at Gibbs] You first.

Gibbs

[looks over the bikini bottom] Trust me. It's not gonna fit.

Kate

Pigs. I work with pigs.

Tony

[as Gibbs is opening his gift] It's a fantasy RPG book. Complete with character sheets and dice. Baby steps, Gibbs. Baby steps.

Gibbs

It's in Spanish.

Tony

There's just no pleasing you, is there?