Leroy Jethro Gibbs quotes from NCIS

Gibbs

[hands Ziva a letter indicating that she is now an NCIS agent] Get to work, probie.

Gibbs

Hey! That was my Danish!

Gibbs

Not enough, enjoy Cuba.

Gibbs

Listen up!

Gibbs

For attacks against the United States Navy: Harper Dearing. [He pastes Dearing's photo over top bin Laden.] Let's go! We've got work to do.

Gibbs

Nah, something's not right here. Sniper would target the dog before he would the handler. Dog finds bombs, saves lives. You take out the dog, nobody gets saved.

Gibbs

[looks at Dex] Why am I telling you this?

Gibbs

(voice over) This is my rifle. There are many like it. This one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My rifle without me is useless. Without my rifle I am useless.

Gibbs

We're LEO's.

Ah, I'm a Capricorn.

Tony

LEO, short for Law Enforcement Officer.

Gibbs

Are you... new at this, Dennis?

First week! [checks their papers] N-C-I-S. Never heard of it.

Gibbs

[to Tony] Now that's embarrassing.

NCIS? That anything like CSI?

Tony

Only if you're dyslexic.

Tony

Gibbs, the pilot won't take off until the Secret Service chick gives us the... [sees Kate with Gibbs] ... thumbs up.

Kate

I think that just made it my team.

Gibbs

No, means I'm gonna have to hijack Air Force One. Tony, escort Agent Todd off this aircraft and close the hatch.

Kate

You're not serious! Wait. Fine. Your team. But just because I don't want to have to delay us any further by having to shoot you.

Gibbs

NCIS does not leak. These plans get out... you can shoot DiNozzo.

Kate

No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.

Gibbs

Rule Number One: Never let suspects stay together.

Gibbs

Rule Number Two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

Gibbs

Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told. Always double check.

Kate

Should I write these rules on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?

Gibbs

[to Todd] You mind if I tag along? Please?

Abby

Wow, Gibbs said please!

Gibbs

You enjoyed playing my boss?

Ducky

I did rather.

Gibbs

Kate. (she takes gum) When's the President returning?

Kate

Uh, tomorrow. Noon. I'm flying back tonight to rejoin the detail.

Gibbs

Mind if I tag along?

Gibbs

(childishly) Please?

Kate

(smiling smugly) You can. Your Sig Sauer can't. We have a rule: no weapons on Air Force One unless they're Secret Service. Kate pops the gum in her mouth. Gibbs shrugs and takes off his sidearm, tucking it away in a drawer. He puts on his coat and follows Kate out.

Gibbs

(to Ducky and Abby as he passes) Keep looking.

Abby

(amused) Wow. Gibbs said "please".

Gibbs

Okay you can be on my team!

Kate

Your team? Why should you have lead on the investigation?

Gibbs

Well...I do believe this is a dead naval officer!

Kate

Who died on Air Force One after having lunch with the President...it's my job to protect!

Gibbs

Have you ever worked a crime scene?

Kate

I am in the Secret Service!

Gibbs

I thought so.

Kate

Well, don't dismiss me like that! I mean I earned my jock strap!

Gibbs

Yeah? Did it ever give you that empty feeling?

Kate

What?

Gibbs

(subtle flirting) Your jock strap!

Kate

(smiling) No! Like some species of frog (subtle flirting) I grow what I need!

Gibbs

How long to find the acid and check out the rest of the chutes?

Abby

Well, I'm flying solo, so at least a day.

Gibbs

Go faster if you had an assistant?

Abby

Definitely.

Gibbs

Okay, you got the job.

Kate

I get to do forensics?

Gibbs

No, you get to schlep for Abby. She gets to do forensics.