[slams a portable fan onto his desk] Anyone, and I mean anyone, know when the air conditioner is getting fixed? What about the name of the genius who invented windows that don't open? Like, what are we on, a space ship? Windows should open!
[checks him out admiringly] Ooh! Have you been working out?
All summer long. Thanks for finally noticing!
No. I meant right now. 'Cause you're sweating like a pig and it's not very... [whispers] attractive!
[She sits down... and jumps up with a shriek when she realizes McGee is under her desk.]
[awkwardly] Morning, Agent Todd!
You have two seconds to tell me what you're doing down there!
I'm upgrading the computer system, and, uh...
[She hauls him to his feet by his ears.]
N...n...no! I wasn't looking! Ahh! I wasn't looking!
Gibbs[walking in] Tony, Did I just see what I thought I saw?
Um, out of respect for my co-workers, I'd have to say "yes, you did" and it's kind of disturbing.
Gibbs
I agree. Put your damn shirt on! This is a federal office building, not a gym! [notices McGee] Damn it, McGee, why are you still here?
The air conditioner's been turned off and it won't get turned on 'till the network's back on.
Gibbs
And you think it's acceptable to be crawling around all day, by yourself?
I just wanted it fixed before I returned to Norfolk.
Gibbs
You have any idea where thinking like this is going to lead you?
Gibbs
Promotion. You need any help, you ask Tony. It looks like he could use a workout.
[McGee notices Tony's death stare.]
It's not that hard, so I'll probably do it myself.
Don't let him intimidate you, McGee. That's my job today.
[Her phone rinks and she snatches it.]
Oh, I believe you. But let me ask you this... is she a pantyhose or a thong girl? 'Cause I'm thinking thong... [winces as Kate elbows him in the gut]
[as her computer fizzles and crashes] NO! NO, NO, NO,... My baby just french-fried!
Gibbs
So reboot it.
Believe it or not, Gibbs, not all computer problems can be solved by rebooting.
Gibbs
[brightly, holding up cell phone] Works for me.
Even if it does. It's gonna take like an hour for mine to cool down!
And without air conditioning it'll happen again!
Gibbs
So take it somewhere cooler!
Where? The whole building is like an illegal sweat-shop!
Gibbs
Not the whole building Abs!
Gibbs
Kate, take McGee and search the Watsons' house. DiNozzo, I want everything there is on Watson and his family by the time I get back. [takes his SIG out and walks to elevator]
Where are you going Boss?
Gibbs
To talk to Capt Watson.
Wait, Gibbs, if they're watching him...
Gibbs
I'll make sure they don't notice!
[to Tony] That is not a good call.
[nonchalantly] Relax. You think Gibbs keeps that haircut to save on shampoo?
Face it, McGee. We are doomed.
Gibbs can't really expect us to hack into the Pentagon in a single afternoon!
You're right, we are doomed.
We have to call DOD and hope they'll let us in without severing the connection!
Unless! What if the trojan isn't system wide? If it was then...
Watson to do it for him! That means that he can't access the rest of the network!
(stares at the computer screen) We've been trying to hack the wrong place!
Okay checking for outside links! Yes we've got multiple incoming packets! And we're varying the Doomsday Trojan!
(flirting) I love it when you talk geek!
(flirting) I love it that you love it!
Gibbs
I'll be sure to mention that to Captain Watson...right after we're done burying his family!
I would seriously hold off on those funeral arrangements Gibbs! The reason we're so excited is...
We've hacked into Watson's computer...
And we should be able to back-trace the connection as soon as (sees the image distort) No, no (starts typing frantically) No! (as the screen goes black) Aah! (Gibbs looks confused) My baby just french-fried!
(to an even more confused Gibbs) The system's overheated!
Gibbs
So just re-boot it!
(puts her head in her hands) Believe it or not Gibbs...But not all computer problems can be solved by re-booting!
Gibbs
(holds up a new phone and says brightly) Works for me! (McGee looks terrified of what could happen if Gibbs realises the scam Kate and DiNozzo have been pulling on him.)
Even if it does. It'll take like at least an hour for mine to cool down!
And with out air-conditioning it'll happen again!
Gibbs
So take it somewhere cooler
Where? The whole building is like an illegal sweatshop!
Gibbs
(smiling) Not the whole building Abs!
(yelling as Tony winces) Okay Gibbs, your mic is coming in loud and clear! Who's that in the office with him?(jokes) The Devil?
Gibbs
Hey, hey, hey, hey! (signs something to her)
You know? Seeing as no-one in this room is actually deaf that is really annoying!
Gibbs
What can you tell me about the voice?
It sounds like this particle physicist I used to date! He had these tiny little chiglet-like teeth and an Eiffel Tower tattoo!
Gibbs
(shakes the Caf-Pow) Do you want this Abby or not?
Okay! Obviously it's being disguised! I think I can filter it back to it's original state!
VMVoice Masked
(really high-pitched) "she is a little beauty, she is a little beauty"!
Yeah! Okay I'll get that APB out on the lollipop guild!
VMVoice Masked
(really slow and low) "little Beauty"
VUVoice Unmasked
"He was right about one thing, she is a little beauty"
Gibbs
Not bad! (passes her the Caf-Pow)
Gibbs
Next thing I need you to do is hack into Captain Watson's computer!
(chokes on her Caf-Pow) Gibbs! We're talking about the Pentagon here! Even their encryptions have encryptions!
Gibbs
Yeah? That dirt-bag somehow managed it!
it probably took him months! Our best bet is to ask the DOD for access to their system!
Gibbs
No, cause the first thing they'll do is sever the connection! And if that happens, we'll end up with two dead dependants!
I don't think I can do it!
Gibbs
Tony. Get McGee on the hook!
(fighting her emotions grabs his phone) No! (moving out of his reach) I'll get in!
Gibbs
Yeah?
Gibbs
I believe you!
(after Gibbs has walked out he turns the phone off) When has Gibbs been wrong before?
Gibbs
Put someone in a wedding dress
Gibbs
No. He's off interviewing the victim's parents.
Gibbs
No, he's with Tony.
Gibbs
No, up to her tats in forensic tests.
Well, what about you? [Gibbs looks at her] You won't have to wear the dress.
Do you know what bongos are? Well the beatnik is playing them in my head!
Gibbs
Tony, Kate, McGee. MTAC now!
(mutters) Tony, Kate, McGee? (louder) Tony, Kate, McGee!
(walking with Tony) Beatnik gone?
Cool! (starts clicking her fingers rhythmically)
Hey Boss. Got statements from Seamen Jennings and Wilkins. Can I cut them loose? They've been at sea a long time.
Gibbs
Know where to find them?
Motel at Virginia Beach. Girlfriends are waiting.
Gibbs
Yeah. [Tony signals to the Seamen to leave]
[to Kate] Haven't been with their women in 6 months, 3 weeks and 18 hours. [shudders] Longest I went was 11 days, 6 hours.
I can't believe you actually know these things.
[Gibbs gets off the phone and notices Kate standing in front of his desk grinning]
Gibbs
Gas pain?
[smile fades away] What? No!
Gibbs
Well, then stop grinning and tell me what you got
When he found the first Jane Doe while jogging, Petty Officer Goetz was in port on a carrier, the Teddy Roosevelt.
Gibbs
[looks through his case files] Agent Dawes interrogated him a number of times, on The Big Stick and here.
Gibbs
Teddy Roosevelt. "Talk softly, carry a big stick."
[realizes] Big stick! Cute. [continues] Goetz stayed in the Navy, is a Chief and arrived in Norfolk in the same carrier as the seamen who found our Jane Doe. The "Honest Abe"?
Gibbs
Shall not perish.
Gibbs
Lincoln is not the "Honest Abe". It's "Shall Not Perish".
[bemused] What kind of nickname is "Shall Not Perish"?
Gibbs
[resumes his work] Ask Chief Goetz when you pull him in for questioning.
Ok. [goes back to her desk]
[Gibbs looks up at McGee]
That would be a good name for the Abraham Lincoln. [Gibbs looks at him] Since he signed the Emancipation Proclamation.... [Gibbs continues staring him down until McGee realizes and stops talking.]
[Tony and Gibbs are sparring in the boxing ring]
Learned how to box in the Marines?
Gibbs
No. Corps doesn't teach boxing.
[grins] That's your loss!
[Gibbs floors Tony with a single move]
Gibbs
They teach fighting.
[Kate has McGee pinned on the floor]
Have I mentioned that I was hand-picked to protect the President of the United States?
[Tony comes up to them to gawk at McGee]
Are you gonna take that abuse McGee?
No! [flips Kate over and pins her on the floor]
I like it McGee! Why were you holding back?
Well you...I mean I've never wrestled--
A girl? [to Tony] Tony, I look like a girl to you?
All I see are two NCIS special agents.
[She kicks McGee in the crotch, Tony cringes.]
Gibbs
[hangs up his phone] Training's over. We're headed to Quantico. Guy tried to outrun a 500-pound bomb.
Gibbs
He lost.
[Kate follows Gibbs out. McGee is still on the floor, groaning in pain]
[attempting to comfort McGee] She had three older brothers growing up. I think there's some unresolved issues there.
NCIS · 1,787 quotes
