The Great Vorelli quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm going to suggest to this man that his life is in danger...

Then I'll be right back.

That he may die at any moment.

Your life is in danger and you may die at any moment. THANK YOU!

Hugo...

Have you been shaving your legs with this again?

Servo

[of Vorelli] A Scotch egg! No, wait; that's his face.

[to the volunteer] You told me that in China, you once saw a man executed in the streets.

Mike

The Manchurian Ventriloquist!

I want you to imagine you are in his place.

[sighs] Why so negative?

[as Vorelli continues speaking to the volunteer in excessive detail of his situation] Should we really call this the "Wacky Fun Time Revue"?

[as crowd] Hooray; more!

Mike

[as Vorelli] Hey; pay attention!

[as crowd claps] Ha ha; we love your cruelty!

Well, Hugo, what are you going to do to entertain the audience tonight?

Anything you say, my dear Vorelli; except that kind of thing.

What do you mean?

Simply that you are laughing while I am talking.

And what's wrong with that?

Oh, it's an old ventriloquist trick; they're all doing it now, it's corny.

Perhaps we can show the audience a variation of it then.

Tom Servo

[as Vorelli] Min-wax, Hugo?

[noticing Vorelli drinking a glass of wine] Give me some wine. I want some wine.

A dummy? Drinking wine?

[as Vorelli] Spodie-odie?

Don't be ridiculous!

I want some! Give it to me! I know what wine is! I've had wine before. I want some wine! Why shouldn't I have some wine?

Mike

[as Hugo] All I want is my fair share! All I want is what's coming to me!

You are a dummy, Hugo.

[as the audience claps] The Puppet-Haters' Club will be right back!

This time- Hugo- you are going to die.

[as Mercedes] At this point, t'ere were some warning signs...