Joe quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 2 ... TV Quotes Database

JJoe

You know what my kids would say...

Mike

[interrupting] "You're not my real father!"

JJoe

"Dig this crazy, mixed-up plumbing!"

MMeacham

Plug it in, Joe.

Mike

Doesn't even have any kids. Poor, deluded Joe.

S7 Laserblast

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[Sam and Joe call McCartin's bluff about permits. He sits down, thoughtfully.]

MMcCartin

After you load with water… you leave. Tonight!

JJoe

The sooner, the better!

SAServo [as Joe/Cheerleader]

The tighter the sweater! / The boys depend on us!

CACrow [as Sam/Cheerleader]

Yay!

S9 Gorgo

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JJoe

Put a guard on that thing, 24/7. And give him a rifle.

Tom

Don’t give the monster a rifle!

S9 Gorgo

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[A drunken Bobby makes crude comments about the dancers.]

JJoe

For you, the worst girl in the world is too good.

SAServo [as Bobby]

But I like Tonya Harding!

. . .

[After Joe and Bobby fight, then laugh it off, Bobby stumbles out of the cabin for a date.]

SAServo [as Bobby]

Boy! Defending my misogyny really takes commitment!

S10 Horrors of Spider Island

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[Gilbert finally finishes lecturing his friends on springs as he pulls up to Joe's house.]

GGilbert

Hey, Joe! Wake up!

CACrow [as Gilbert]

It's Coily's army of darkness! Look!

. . .

JJoe

You and your springs! I hope I never see another--

GGilbert

Stop! Don't say it! Don't ever wish anything like that as long as you live!

[Gilbert looks down to see Coily the Spring Sprite materialize on his car seat. Coily cackles.]

SAServo [as Coily]

You'll be the first to die!

S10 Squirm

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Joe quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

Scenes with Joe 20

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