Crow T. Robot quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

I love this job!

Almost all of the rum sold in the U.S. is produced here, and its export is vital to the economy.

So, drink rum constantly.

Then KISS came to town!

We don't know what this is, folks, but it's definitely Puerto Rico stuff.

Mike

These'll nevr go out of style.

Comes complete with a Peter Frampton album.

Okay, we'll move there!

Servo

Can you dig it? Can you dig it? Can you dig it? Can you dig it?

Joseph Javorsky.

Rootie patootie.

Vacation time.

So... goodbye.

People travel east, west... north or south.

Servo

And some people just burrow straight down, I guess.

To get to the top... a man needs an airplane.

Or a giant pogo stick.

Jump from a plane, land at the top.

Or a helicopter would do. Did I say "Flag on the moon" yet?

Joseph Javorsky.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

Noted scientist.

Family man, and your candidate for city council!

Mike

So? What about him?!

Huh?... [sees the new wallpaper] OH, MY GOD! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! [Leaves]

Sometimes, a new look takes a little getting used to.

How's about someone shine my steak over here?!

Mike

You know, back in the '70s, you could take an abstract concept like shining your love and just go with it.

Women can make a difference.

Ahh, the director wrote that so he could get laid.

May I speak to you for a moment please?

'It's about my report card.

Yes? What can I do for you?

What's this "Incomplete" crap?

I don't have any lines.

But you get to wear slinky dresses and carry guns and stuff!

Not this sister! [Leaves]

Every day I'm reminded of the things that happened to the people that weren't even there.

Oh, sure-- HUH?

[gravelly voice] Come over to this side!

[eerily] Obey the toaster!

She was a clever dreamer, so she arranged for little Joe to be there to keep her from getting lonesome when Daddy was away.

Speaking of accidents...