Crow T. Robot quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[singing to the theme from The Greatest American Hero] Believe it or not, this movie's still on, it should have ended two hours ago...

So, basically, the hero is this guy. I think it's time we all face that fact.

Remind me to never be a child.

[impatient] Can we help you, movie lady? Do you need a push or something?

GET A BOX!

That's not Natalie, that's Tonya Harding!

You're dead, Nancy Kerrigan!

Hi folks, you may be wondering if I'm Martin Sheen. Well, I'm not. Turns out I'm his vastly more talented, yet less appreciated brother. Thank you.

Maybe they have this wondrous, frilly wedding in the frou frou land of bunnies where magical fairies blow kisses to the stars, and the polka-dotted toadstools sing, 'Good Ship Lollipop,' to the tiny mice in their little feetie pajamas.

Oh sure, just shove the irony down our throats!

What happens when you touch gold?

I'm going to hit the mystical can.

Remember to believe in magic... or I'll kill you.

Merlin was a thieving crack head, who fenced VCR's to feed his habit.

I have another script called Chinatown, but I don't like it as much.

And so, Billy, the little boy who looks just like you, went through terrible, irredeemable grief!

So when you edit this, it's going to look like I hit him, right?