Spike quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Twilight

Hey, Starlight! Ready to celebrate your first Hearth's Warming Eve here in Ponyville?

Starlight

I was thinking I might just skip it.

[gasp]

Spike

Skip Hearth's Warming Eve?!

Starlight

I just find it all a little silly. It's mostly a day dedicated to presents and candy, isn't it?

Spike

And why would you deny yourself presents and candy? That's crazy talk!

Twilight

I think what Spike means to say is Hearth's Warming is about more than presents and candy. It's a time to spend with friends and family when we celebrate a very important day in Equestria's history.

Starlight

I think to most ponies, it's just an excuse for silly songs and fun, not a day to remember some old story.

Twilight

Maybe you just haven't heard the right Hearth's Warming Eve story yet!

Starlight

Earth ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns sing songs around a hearth to fight back an eternal winter caused by the mythical windigos? Ha! Every foal and filly knows that story.

Twilight

Not that one. My favorite holiday story, "A Hearth's Warming Tale"!

Twilight

[singsong, imitating Pinkie Pie (As the Spirit Of Hearth's Warming Presents)] And the reason is to be with your friends! [normal] What?

Starlight

You know you're doing your Pinkie voice, right?

Twilight

I was not!

Spike

[laughing]

Starlight

So, what happens next?

Twilight

Well, the party was—

Spike

Wait! Can we take a quick break? I need to refill my cocoa.

Twilight

[groans] Fine. But hurry up! We're almost to the best part!

Twilight

As you've all probably noticed, it's been quite some time since the map has sent us on a mission of friendship.

Spike

Yeah! Ever since Starlight messed with it to go back in time and try to change history!

Twilight

Yes. Since then.

Spike

[deep voice] "Spike?" Who's "Spike"?

Starlight

Pfft. Uh, you're Spike, Spike. And why are you dressed like that?

Spike

[groans, normal voice] Guys, you're blowing my cover!

Spike

You... saved me?

Thorax

It's okay. I know you don't wanna be friends.

Spike

Wait! I don't understand. Changelings are supposed to be evil... right?

Thorax

Evil? Oh, not me. All I've ever wanted is a friend.

Shining Armor

Spike! What are you doing?! Get away from that thing!

Spike

No! He's not a "thing"! His name is Thorax, and he's my friend!

Twilight

Come on in, everypony! Gummy, Opalescence, and Winona? This is a surprise!

Spike

Aren't Pinkie, Rarity and Applejack with you?

[purring]

Twilight

[reading] "Sorry, darling, but I must decline the invitation to your soiree. While I'm sure it will be positively resplendent, there are certain ponies I'd rather not associate with at the moment. Rarity."

Spike

Rarity's not coming? Awww. So I polished my scales for nothing.

Twilight

[reading] "Sorry I can't make it, but I'm still a mite upset about everything that happened on the boat. Applejack." "Sorry I can't make the tea party today, but there's a small problem with the guest list. Plus, I'm right in the middle of a very important cupcake. Pinkie." Come on, Spike! Since our friends won't come here and tell us what happened, we'll just have to go to them!

Spike

Are you kidding? You totally deserve it! After all, you... saved Equestria from... Queen Chrysalis! With the help of Trixie and Thorax and Discord and...

Starlight Glimmer

Uh, yeah. I know what happened. I was kinda there.

Spike

Uh, right. Uh, so... what are you wearin'?

Starlight Glimmer

Not sure. Why? Am I supposed to dress up?

Spike

No! I-I mean, you could. It's like Rarity always says... [imitating Rarity] "There's no such thing as overdressed, darling. You're just the best-looking pony in the room." [chuckles]

Princess Celestia

[voiceover] She was truly one of my best students.

Spike

[voiceover] Are you talking about Twilight? I can't see what you're thinking about.

Princess Celestia

[voiceover] Yes, Spike. I was constantly surprised and impressed with her discoveries. But I noticed that her pursuit of academia was preventing her from reaching her full potential.

Spike

[voiceover] You mean it was keeping her isolated and alone?

Princess Celestia

[voiceover] Uh, yes, Spike. I had a decision to make. Oh, but it wasn't easy.

Spike

Should I just cancel our visit to the hospital?

Twilight Sparkle

What?! Cancel?! We can't cancel, Spike! The sick foals are counting on us! And the B.A.E. would never throw in the towel like that!

Spike

B.A.E.?

Twilight Sparkle

"Best Aunt Ever"? Besides, this errand is gonna be different.

Spike

How do you figure that?

Twilight Sparkle

Because Flurry can play with the Cake twins and stay out of trouble! Best aunt ever!

Twilight Sparkle

Spike, you watch Flurry. I'll take care of everything else. [quickly, to Pinkie Pie] Hi, Pinkie! How's it going? I need to pick up the cupcakes for the foals at the hospital! And can you do apology treats?

Pinkie Pie

I'm good. Here they are. Of course I can!

Twilight Sparkle

Do you still have a giant file on everypony's favorite treat?

Pinkie Pie

In my secret party planning cave!

Pinkie Pie

BRB!

Twilight Sparkle

Hee-hee! Remind me to tell you later how amazing you are. Cheerilee?

Pinkie Pie

Eh. I am pretty awesome.

Pinkie Pie

Cherry oatmeal cookies with yellow sprinkles.

Twilight Sparkle

Great! Can you write "sorry" on them?

Pinkie Pie

I've got a stamp for that!

[arguing baby noises]

Spike

Hey, you guys! No need to fight! Uh... hang on! I'm sure there's another one! Ugh, no, not this one... oh, that's cute...

Twilight Sparkle

I get it, things are getting off to a rougher start than expected. But that's okay!

Spike

Who are you and what have you done with Twilight Sparkle?

Spike

Ugh. Look on the bright side - sure, the EEA closed your Friendship School, but now you've got time to do other stuff! It's like being on vacation!

Spike

Whoa!

Twilight Sparkle

A failure vacation! I'm supposed to be the Princess of Friendship, a leader of the free world—and all I did was make enemies with Equestria's allies, upset my friends, and get my school... [eye twitching] unaccredited! There is no bright side! [blows nose]

Pinkie Pie

[stage whisper, to Spike] You didn't tell me this was a pity party! I would've brought ice cream!

Twilight Sparkle

Okay. Let's review what we know.

Spike

Smolder, Ocellus, Silverstream, Yona and Gallus disappeared together. [beat] That's all we know.

Pinkie Pie

Maybe they were attacked by a ferocious shrimp! Nopony ever expects that!

Fluttershy

[gasps] Shrimps can attack?

Pinkie Pie

Nope! That's why no pony expects it.

We need to think like our students. If someone told us we would never see each other again, what would we do?

Pinkie Pie

Go someplace we could all hang out and eat lots and lots of cupcakes! [beat] What?

Princess Celestia

Hold on, please! I'm sure Princess Twilight Sparkle has a good explanation for all of this.

Twilight Sparkle

I do! It's true that my School of Friendship is EEA unaccredited...

Spike

Look! She said it without doing the eye thing!

Chancellor Neighsay

Then it is not a school!

Twilight Sparkle

It's not an EEA school. It's a Friendship school, with its own rules. I should know; I wrote the book.