Discord quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Discord

A weighty choice is yours to make, the right selection or a big mistake. If the wrong choice you choose to pursue, the foundations of home will crumble without you.

Discord

[scared] The stare?! Oh, no, please! Not that! Anything but your disapproving eyeballs! [laughs]

Discord

Oh, I do hope she breaks into a song this time!

Discord

[California accent] Yo! Greetings, fellow creatures!

Discord

You know, it really does seem like you just might be ready for whatever comes next, Your Majesty.

Discord

Look what I overheard them saying!

Discord

Ugh! Just listen to my voice and use your imagination!

Let the fool go. Without magic, he's no threat. Besides, we have plans.

The "Lame Six" are so busy being perfect, they haven't even noticed what we've been up to. Have I mentioned how great revenge is?

I hope you got a name picked out for your future kingdom. Because it's time to destroy Equestria!

[laughing]

Discord

They're probably on their way to attack Canterlot right now!

Discord

You should see the looks on your faces! Priceless!

Twilight

Give us our wings and horns back!

Discord

You'll get them back in good time. I simply took them to ensure there's no cheating. You see, this is the first rule of our game: No flying and no magic.

Rainbow Dash

The first rule?

Discord

The second rule is everypony has to play or the game is over and I win. Good luck, everypony! [disappears]

Fluttershy, it looks like you've been left behind by your so-called friends, huh?

Fluttershy

Oh, no. I'm certain they're doing their best to find me!

Well, it must be so upsetting to know how weak and helpless they think you are....

Fluttershy

Not at all, I am weak and helpless, and I appreciate their understanding.

[frustrated] Yes.. Well, surely it burns you up... I mean, that they're always pointing out your flaws, right?

Fluttershy

Not really. In fact, I think I'm awfully lucky to have friends who want me to be the best I can be!

Discord

[losing his temper] OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE! [pokes Fluttershy's head, instantly corrupting her] You've been kind for far too long, dearie. Time to be cruel! Arrivederci! [disappears in a huff]

Discord

[laughs as he holds a glass under a cloud raining chocolate milk, which fills in reverse] Chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing!

Not as wonderful as friendship!

Discord

Ugh, this again? [drinks the glass from the chocolate milk, and throws the milk away, where it explodes]

Applejack

That's right. You couldn't break apart our friendship for long.

Discord

Oh, Applejack, don't lie to me. I'm the one who made you a liar. Will you ever learn?

Twilight Sparkle

I'll tell you what we've learned, Discord: We've learned that friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for!

Rainbow Dash

You big liar!

Discord

Now, look who's a liar. Anyone can plainly see that I'm not big at all. [camera zooms out to reveal he made himself smaller on the couch]

Rainbow Dash

Ugh, I can't believe we're having a dinner party with Discord!

This evening is sure to be a disaster. Glad I didn't bother wearing my fanciest outfit.

Twilight Sparkle

Fluttershy thinks this is the way to reform Discord and asked us to give it a chance.

Discord

Oh, our pony guests! [upper class voice] We're so delighted that you've come. Please, do come in.

Fluttershy

See what a beautiful job he did helping? Discord set the entire table himself. I'm so proud.

Discord

May I take your... [clears throat] hats, ladies?

Twilight Sparkle

Hang on to your elements, girls. It's gonna be a bumpy night.

Discord

Ladies, ladies, I'm innocent. Would I lie to you?

Yes!

Fluttershy

Um, maybe?

Discord

My plunder seeds should've stolen the magic from the Tree of Harmony and captured Princess Celestia and Princess Luna thousands of moons ago! Alas, it seems, the tree had enough magic to keep the seeds from growing up big and strong. Until now, that is.

Twilight Sparkle

[stops seeing flashback] You realize this is information we could've used hours ago?!!?

Discord

And rob you of a valuable lesson about being princess? What kind of a friend do you think I am?

Fluttershy

Now, now, he’s learned his lesson. Isn’t that right, my little patient?

Discord

I’m so glad that you’re back from your trip, Fluttershy. Just your presence here is making me feel so much better.

Discord

[to Twilight] I was just wondering. Could I trouble you for just one more thing?

Twilight Sparkle

[exasperated] NO!

Discord

What? I was simply going to ask...for a teeny tiny glass...of water. [grins deviously as the episode ends]

Lord Tirek

Give my regards to Cerberus.

Discord

You meant our will, didn't you?

Lord Tirek

Of course. Here, I want you to have something. This was given to me by someone very close to me. I give it to you as a sign of my gratitude and loyalty.

Discord

Oh, my! I do love a good accessory. I suppose that's Rarity's influence.

Lord Tirek

[laughs] Amusing. But we have no time for such things. With the princesses out of the way, we can now– [sees a stained glass illustration of Twilight Sparkle] Is this meant to be HUMOROUS?!

Discord

Oh, no, I haven't touched that one yet.

Lord Tirek

There's a fourth? And you did not tell me this?!

Discord

I just needed some assurance that you truly considered this a team effort. And now I have it.

Lord Tirek

Then where can we find this fourth princess? Where is her castle?

Discord

Castle? [laughs] No, Princess Twilight lives above a library in Ponyville. Castle? [laughs]

Lord Tirek

Not for much longer.