Mean Twilight Sparkle quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Spike

If you need some pointers, let me know. I've been on my fair share of missions.

Twilight Sparkle

You've been on one, Spike.

Spike

And that's my fair share.

Twilight Sparkle

Who better to model the importance of working as a team?

Pinkie Pie

Um, Rarity? Fluttershy? Me? Spike? This flowerpot?

Twilight Sparkle

How's the canoeing... going?

Smolder

About as good as the apple shed building.

Twilight Sparkle

You're not teaching teamwork! You're competing with each other! I thought you were past that!

Rainbow Dash

We are! Mostly.

Twilight Sparkle

You were actually just competing the entire time, weren't you?

Applejack

To tell you the truth... yeah.

Spike

It's a stone scale. It isn't magical or anything like the call of the Dragon Lord. It's just... red. And itchy. [groans] And embarrassing.

Ooh, precious pants, that does look uncomfortable. But even I get the odd blemish from time to time. It's nothing to be embarrassed by. You could pay Zecora a visit. She makes a cream that works wonders. Just don't get the shampoo.

Twilight Sparkle

I used to get terrible breakouts any time I had a final exam with Celestia. Who probably never had a blemish her whole life.

Twilight Sparkle

I don't need to carry you anymore, do I? You have wings.

Spike

They are new, and I don't want to overdo it.

Twilight Sparkle

I know you're upset that I won't let you come to my school, but to teach Cozy all the wrong things out of spite? That's just cruel.

Sweetie Belle

But we taught her all the right things!

Twilight Sparkle

Then how do you explain these friendship test answers? [reading] "What are the six Elements of Harmony?" Five turtlenecks and a cheese grater? "Who is the Princess of Friendship?" Your mom?

Twilight Sparkle

Get ready for fun!

Rainbow Dash

Are we talking fun fun, or learning pretending to be fun?

Twilight Sparkle

Both!

Queen Chrysalis

Listen to your queen! We must retrieve the Elements of Harmony!

Hunting down some lame Elements? This is the worst day ever! [depressing anger]

[kicks dirt into Mean Pinkie's eyes] No. Now it's the worst day ever! [laughing cruelly]

Those Elements are mine! Along with this rock! Oh, and that twig! [proceeds to hoard every worthless item]

Mean Applejack

I got all kinds o' Elements right here under my hat. I'll let you see them for five bits. [unconvincing liar]

[scoffs] Losers. [lazing in the canopy]

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Why didn't you just attack them? [arrogant and spiteful]

Queen Chrysalis

Excuse me?

Mean Twilight Sparkle

You were close enough to pull hairs from their manes. Why not just take your revenge then?

Queen Chrysalis

They've defeated my army. I know better than to strike alone. I need—

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Friends?

Queen Chrysalis

Servants! And the power of the Elements!

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Right. So where are these Elements of Harmony?

Queen Chrysalis

The location of the most powerful weapon in Equestria isn't something made known to just anypony. I learned they were hidden somewhere in this forest.

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Yeah, well, it is a big forest.

Queen Chrysalis

[growling]

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Can we hurry this up? We're on a schedule here! Everything must be perfect!

Pinkie Pie

Twilight, your schedule can wait! Fluttershy's upset!

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Well, tell her to get over it! I’ll go get the others. Stay, here.

[appears from the other side] Oh, great. You upset Fluttershy, too?

Pinkie Pie

You know what, Twilight? Maybe if you weren't so worried about schedules, you'd realize you're the one ruining the retreat for your friends!

Twilight Sparkle

[gasps] Well, if my friends don't care about the retreat I planned for them... maybe they should've stayed home!

Fluttershy

Can't we all just get along?! [crying]

Queen Chrysalis

Grub-sitting you six is nothing like controlling my hive! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just destroy you all and start over!

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Because I know where the Elements of Harmony are. You need me. (So I can overpower you.)

Twilight Sparkle

Of course I care about Fluttershy!

Pinkie Pie

Then you've got a super weird way of showing it!

W-What in Equestria's going on here?

Pinkie Pie

Twilight is so into her "retreat" that she doesn't even care if her friends are upset! She just wants us to "Stay. On. Schedule"!

Twilight Sparkle

Well, I'm sorry, Pinkie, if I knew you thought this was a "boring, lame, no-fun retreat", I wouldn't have invited you in the first place!

Pinkie Pie

I never said that!!

Applejack

Sorry, y'all. We would've been here sooner, but we had to take the long way after Rarity ran off with all my stuff.

Wha—?! I most certainly did not!

Applejack

What?! You know I ain't no liar! [to Starlight Glimmer] Where's all your gear?

Starlight Glimmer

Why? So you can laugh at me some more?!

Rainbow Dash

Hey, hey, we're all friends here!

Fluttershy

Friends?! You left me alone in the woods! [sobs]

Twilight Sparkle

EVERYPONY, QUIET!!!

Twilight Sparkle

Listen. We know each other really well — the great stuff and how to get on each other's nerves, too. I wanted a fun trip with my friends, but instead I got carried away with plans and ruined everything. If you want to forget it all and head home, I won’t be offended. I just want us to stop fighting.

Applejack

[to Starlight Glimmer] Hey, sorry if I got carried away with all that camping stuff.

Starlight Glimmer

I'm sorry, too. I should've just told you I'll never like camping. Also, I'll never like camping.

Well, if we're all being honest, I can't survive with just this tiny yet fashionable little saddlebag! I miss my things!

Ugh! What's this garbage?

Mean Applejack

Badger installation art! Ya see--

Queen Chrysalis

Just! Retrieve! The Elements!

[laughing cruelly]

Mine! Mine! Mine! [crazed laughter]

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Once we get the power of the Elements, no creature, not even her Majesty, can tell us what to do. Just follow my lead. Got it?

[laughing evilly]

Ooh! That one's mine! [crazed laughter]

Oops. I'd say sorry, but I'm not!

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Stop it, fools! [The Element of Kindness also turns black] We need the Elements to take out Chrysalis! [gasps]

Queen Chrysalis

How dare you! I created you!

[laughing]

Mean Twilight Sparkle

[groaning, gasps and she is being destroyed by the Tree of Harmony] Imbeciles! You ruined everythiiiiiiiing!

Queen Chrysalis

Servants always fail you in the end! Just wait, Starlight. I will have my revenge!

Twilight Sparkle

[gasps] Are you kidding me?

Pinkie Pie

[laughing] This was... the worst... day... ever!

Starlight Glimmer

Come on, everypony. We can fix this campsite in no time.

Applejack

Spoken like a true camper.

Starlight Glimmer

Eh, don’t push it. [Chuckles]

Twilight Sparkle

You know, if we can survive a day like this, I think our friendship is strong enough to handle anything the world can throw at us.