Mean Twilight Sparkle quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Twilight Sparkle

My school teaches for all of us to work together through friendship.

Chancellor Neighsay

Then how do you know these creatures won't take what they have learned here and use it against us?

Twilight Sparkle

Friendship isn't just for ponies!

Chancellor Neighsay

It should be.

Prince Rutherford

Unicorn think yaks no need friendship? Maybe yaks no need pony school!

Neighsay

Well, perhaps you should return to your kind.

Ember

"Your kind"?! Smolder, let's go!

Seaspray

Queen Novo will want to hear of this!

Well, this place seemed lame anyways.

Thorax

[despondently] It's fine. We know not every pony sees us the way you do. We're used to it.

Twilight Sparkle

Princess Celestia helped me reach out to every creature in all the kingdoms! When she hears you closed the school because—!

Neighsay

Because you failed to meet the EEA's standards?

Twilight Sparkle

What?!

Neighsay

Irresponsible teachers, students skipping class, endangering ponies! Your school is a disaster. Perhaps if you had had higher standards for who was admitted, this could have been avoided. Regardless...

Neighsay

By order of the EEA, I am shutting this school... [stomps] down!

Twilight Sparkle

[sad gasp]

Spike

Ugh. Look on the bright side - sure, the EEA closed your Friendship School, but now you've got time to do other stuff! It's like being on vacation!

Spike

Whoa!

Twilight Sparkle

A failure vacation! I'm supposed to be the Princess of Friendship, a leader of the free world—and all I did was make enemies with Equestria's allies, upset my friends, and get my school... [eye twitching] unaccredited! There is no bright side! [blows nose]

Pinkie Pie

[stage whisper, to Spike] You didn't tell me this was a pity party! I would've brought ice cream!

Twilight Sparkle

Everypony's already tried to cheer me up. It won't work.

Starlight Glimmer

[short laugh] I'm not going to cheer you up. I'm going to tell you what you did wrong.

Twilight Sparkle

What?!

Starlight Glimmer

You gave up too easily. [beat] Hey, you made me a guidance counselor. That means tough love.

Twilight Sparkle

But the EEA rulebook—

Starlight Glimmer

Doesn't matter!

Twilight Sparkle

Guess what? The School of Friendship is back in business!

Rainbow Dash

What?!

But why?

Fluttershy

Oh no.

Applejack

Bad idea.

Pinkie Pie

Do we still get to guess?

Prince Rutherford

Where Yona?! This all pony's fault!

Ember

You're pretty quick to blame them! What are you hiding, yak?!

Prince Rutherford

[snorts]

Thorax

C-Can... Can we just focus on finding our lost students?

Nice try! You grubs are probably hiding the whole lot of them!

Princess Celestia

Please, every creature! If you can just explain what happened...

Seaspray

The students left us notes before they disappeared. When the school closed, they didn't want to say goodbye to each other. They claim they ran away to stay together.

Twilight Sparkle

I can't believe it! They did learn friendship!

Twilight Sparkle

Sorry.

Seaspray

The students couldn't have done this by themselves. Some creature is hiding them! If the niece of our queen is not found soon, I promise there will be retribution!

Ember

Yeah? Well, my dragons will burn every kingdom until we find which of you is hiding Smolder!

Tell it to the griffon army!

Prince Rutherford

Yaks fight griffons and dragons!

Thorax

The Changeling Hive Empire can't afford an international incident. My people have made far too many enemies throughout the centuries. If any creature blames the Changelings for this—

Ember

What are you up to, shapeshifter?!

Thorax

B-But we're friends!

Princess Celestia

Find the students quickly, Twilight, or I fear our world will be at war!

Twilight Sparkle

Okay. Let's review what we know.

Spike

Smolder, Ocellus, Silverstream, Yona and Gallus disappeared together. [beat] That's all we know.

Pinkie Pie

Maybe they were attacked by a ferocious shrimp! Nopony ever expects that!

Fluttershy

[gasps] Shrimps can attack?

Pinkie Pie

Nope! That's why no pony expects it.

We need to think like our students. If someone told us we would never see each other again, what would we do?

Pinkie Pie

Go someplace we could all hang out and eat lots and lots of cupcakes! [beat] What?

Princess Celestia

Hold on, please! I'm sure Princess Twilight Sparkle has a good explanation for all of this.

Twilight Sparkle

I do! It's true that my School of Friendship is EEA unaccredited...

Spike

Look! She said it without doing the eye thing!

Chancellor Neighsay

Then it is not a school!

Twilight Sparkle

It's not an EEA school. It's a Friendship school, with its own rules. I should know; I wrote the book.

Ember

Ugh, fine! If you promise to stop singing, Smolder can stay!

Smolder

Wahoo!

Prince Rutherford

Uh, if dragon stay, yak stay.

Thorax

I know you will make the changelings proud, Ocellus.

Seaspray

You belong here. Now, can you show me those stair things you mentioned?

Silverstream

[incoherent excited noises]

[to Gallus] What? You belong at home! You think I care if you've made friends?

Gallus

Please, Grandpa Gruff? [whimpers]

Alright, alright! Stop doing that!

Starlight Glimmer

Guess I make a pretty good guidance counselor, huh?

Twilight Sparkle

Yes! Writing the rulebook was the most fun ever! I can't wait to start working on the new lesson plans!

Applejack

[clears throat]

Twilight Sparkle

...with some help from my friends.

Spike

So, Rarity is busy at an important fashion show, and Fluttershy is running her shop in Manehattan, but to do it, she's playing different shop pony characters that are all mean?

Twilight Sparkle

How in the world did you figure that out, Spike?

Spike

I'm not Dragon Charades champion for nothing!

Fluttershy

I'd definitely rather be myself anyway, even if I don't exactly have what it takes to be a shop pony.

Twilight Sparkle

I wouldn't sell yourself short. Those sales pony characters all came from you!

Rainbow Dash

Yeah! I think you totally have what it takes.

Pinkie Pie

Maybe a little too much.

Apple Bloom

Then, in the Battle of Canterlot, when Applejack defeated the Storm King—

Twilight Sparkle

Wait, what? She told you she defeated him? By herself?

Apple Bloom

Uh, maybe she didn't say that exactly. But it makes for a better story.

Ocean Flow

Yoo-hoo! Princess! We're having a seashell-crafting circle. Care to join us?

Twilight Sparkle

Actually, we're right in the middle of—

There you are! The flag-folding ceremony's about to begin!

Twilight Sparkle

Thank you, really. I've had a great time in both places today, but... [whispering, to Cutie Mark Crusaders] Wow. This must be how Terramar feels all the time.

Twilight Sparkle

To commemorate your first sunrise, I've written a play. We'd like to perform it at my School of Friendship, if you don't mind.

Princess Celestia

[giggling happily] Mind? Oh! Of course not! Oh! I think a play is a fantastic idea!

Spike

Did she just... prance?

Twilight Sparkle

Uh, Pinkie? That looks unsafe.

Pinkie Pie

Why would untested magic fireworks that I bought in a back alley from Trixie at midnight be unsafe?

Princess Celestia

You had good intentions, Twilight. But you know that the truth is always better than a well-meant lie. Didn't Applejack remind you?

Twilight Sparkle

[sighs] About a hundred times.