Orel quotes from Moral Orel

Clay

Oh son, behaving like a grown up is many things. First and for most, it means doing things that you hate doing.

Orel

Like what, pop?

Clay

Well, like dealing with people who make you unhappy, being stressed about things you have no control over, working soul-numbing jobs.

Orel

Oh.

Clay

Then gradually as we endure these hardships and accept them as normal, that's when we finally earned the right to get drunk and be emotionally distant from our families.

Clay

Love is a very beautiful, very intense feeling for a startling short period of time. Before long, you realize it gets in the way of the important things in life; like, just going to sleep or being left alone. That's when love starts fading and lies kick in.

Orel

But how long does it actually take for love to fade?

Clay

Oh, quicker than you think, kid, quicker than you think.

Orel

Coach Stopframe?

Oh, hi, Orel.

Orel

Whatcha got there?

Mmm, nothing, just a picture. Oh, hey, Orel, do you think that you could get me a little bit of your dad's hair?

Orel

Sure! What for?

Well, I...want to buy him a new comb and I need to see what gauge teeth to get on it.

Clay

Orel, are you planning to buy me a new comb?

Clay

Well, it was either that or you're gonna put a Satanic spell on me. And that's just not in your character.

Clay

Orel why are you sifting through the vacuum bag so early in the morning?

Orel

Oh, is it that early?

Clay

Yes, and I haven't even finished my 3rd drink yet.

Greetings. I am Flygron. Come in and have some pizza.

Orel

Yum! [Runs inside]

Uh, who's the kid?

He's the virgin.

What? That's totally against the law.

But it's for the ritual.

Don't you know any legal virgins?

Hadn't crossed my mind, really.

Orel

Have some pizza, Coach. It's sour cream and peanut-butter.

[scary voice] The Devil's combo!

Doughy

Wow, Orel, you're the best detective ever!

Orel

No, Doughy, the best detective of all was King Solomon. He cleverly deduced that a mother never wants her baby cut in half.

Doughy

Oh yeah, that was some caper!

Orel

Gosh, my mom’s treating those people like they’re her family.

Doughy

I don’t know, Orel. It looks she’s just ignoring them and fed up and not happy at all to be here.

Orel

Exact… ly…

Doughy

Uh, I think I’m gonna go home.

Orel

[sadly] Bye, Doughy.

Orel

Your birthday? Why didn't you say anything, Miss Censordoll?

Miss Censordoll

I prefer not to annually celebrate the emergence of my unclad body through such an unsavoury passage as my mothers womb.

Orel

Hot dog, picket signs!

Miss Censordoll

There’s a special Saturday screening of “The Greatest Story Ever Told”.

Orel

That’s not a dirty movie.

Miss Censordoll

They all are, Orel, if you find a way to look at them just right…

Orel

But, it’s about the life of our Lord. It can’t be that bad.

Miss Censordoll

Then let’s let God be the judge of that, shall we?

Miss Censordoll

Of course! That God. Even makes me feel inferior.

Orel

Hey, Dad, can I talk to you?

Clay

Sure! [angrily] In my study!

Orel

OK!

Clay

You don't seem at all nervous, young man.

Orel

But I didn't do anything wrong.

Clay

Oh, right. Well, I guess my belt can have the day off. [He takes off his belt to hang it up and his pants fall down] Darn it.

Orel

Dad?

Clay

Where? I mean- Here for ya!

Orel

I’m sure finding it hard trying to avoid all of the devils pleasure traps

Clay

Ah, don’t worry, son. When you get older and have a family, you’ll find that leading a virtuous and pleasure-free life comes as easy as waking up in the morning.

Bloberta

Clay, I’m setting your couch alarm so you’re not late for work again tomorrow!

Clay

[mockingly] Fine! [to Orel] Okay, it’s a lot easier than waking up in the morning.

Our Father, who/which art... [Everyone stops, slightly confused, then resumes] ...in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses/debts... [everyone stops again, more conscious, and then continue cautiously forward] ...as we forgive those who trespass/our debtors...

Clay

Debtors?!

Trespassers?!

What are you, nuts?! Get out!/Let's go!

Well, you think you know someone!

Get up, kids. I can't believe you would expose my children to this without my consent!

Clay

Your children? What about my kid, he's only nine!

Orel

Twelve.

Bloberta

Please, just leave!

Gladly!

Clay

You don't even understand what the Lord's Prayer means!

How dare you!? Forgive your debtors!

Clay

Forgive your trespassers!

You owe me a bottle of wine!

Clay

GET OFF MY PROPERTY!! (Slams the door)

Now, as you know, there's going to be four categories this year, Orel: Asking for things, praising, general appreciation, and of course, requesting forgiveness.

Orel

Gee, shouldn't "requesting forgiveness" be included in "asking for things"? And come to think of it, "praising" and "general"--

Orel, I think you know who makes the rules for such a thing as praying.

Orel

Oh, of course. [He looks up at the sky]

That's right, a bunch of random guys.

Yay! Break!

Clay

Orel! Look what you let in [Hits Block with a fly-squatter] Skat Shapey! Shoo shoo!

Orel

Dad, that's not Shap--

Clay

What's up son?