Arthur Puppington quotes from Moral Orel

Now, would you kindly pass me the ketchup you killed your mother with?

I'm sorry, Mr Puppington, cardiac arrest.

She was in heaven before we got here.

No...there is no heaven... [Clay hugs him, crying. Arthur shoves him aside] I don't need anymore of your leftovers.

Clay

You'll go to hell for saying there's no heaven.

You're not even worth it.

Clay

Not worth it?

I want to see you in my study. Now.

Clay, it's been a grand Puppington tradition that the head of the household passes down Ol' Gunny to his firstborn son. But I am not passing it onto you now because of that tradition. I am in fact ending the tradition. There will be no coming of the age hunting trip. I don't want this in my possession anymore. It's tainted. With blood.

Clay

Sure it's not just ketchup?

No, look closer. You killed your mother with this gun.

Clay

You know, it's a sin to bear false witness.

Clay

Oh, oh, oh, and remember the last lost sixty-third commandment: Thou shalt never forget thy loaded a gun when thou has an innocent child in the house!

I blame myself for how you treated Orel.

Clay

Orel is doing fine...ish.

Well, I have to admit, I was kind of surprised he didn't know about God for so long in this God-forsaken, God-fearing town. Why?

Clay

I didn't have the confidence to answer any of his questions, let alone talk about God (he starts crying) because I felt worthless.

Clay

But now I know that's the answer to EVERY ONE of his questions!!! I never want you to see Orel again.