Stephanie Foamwire-Putty quotes from Moral Orel

Stephanie

Well, in this town, I guess I could use someone like me when I was your height. OK kid, I’m gonna give you a “Prince Albert”

Orel

“Prince Albert?”

Stephanie

Yep, I’m gonna put one of these through your Johnson. Then when you’re finally tall enough to drive it home, your good lady wife will be squealing like she’s won a year’s supply of pantyhose.

Orel

Um, I was wondering, do you need any help around the shop, for when it gets busy?

Stephanie

Busy? This store? In Moralton?

Orel

If I get another piercing, how long would it take? Could I be here all day?

Stephanie

Look, I know you like it here with me. I like you too. But face it, shorty, you're gonna need some time in that sun if you're ever gonna grow. You're a good kid. Just stay that way and that'll be all you need to make your woman happy.

Orel

Okay. You know, you should really think about getting married. You'd make a pretty good mom.

Stephanie

Thanks. Take care, Orel. (Orel leaves) Uh-oh, maternal pang. (She quickly pierces her eyebrow) Ah, all gone.

Well, you see, Stephanie...

Stephanie

Yes, Reverend?

You know what? Let's just cut the "Reverend" stuff, huh?

Stephanie

OK, what would you prefer? "Pastor"? "Minister"? "Brother"? "Rod"?

How about "Father"?

Stephanie

Sounds a little too Catholic, doesn't it?

Hmm, you're right. Better make it "Dad".

Are you kidding? You can't compare you and her to Orel and his little Orelette.

Stephanie

Why, because we're two girls, and tolerance is only a pretend theme?

No. Because she didn't care about you.

Stephanie

...wow. You remember it better than I do.

Yeah, I remember. When you've had my track record with love that stuff hits you like a ton of bricks. I felt bad for ya. But, if you keep playing that song, we might both get lucky tonight.