Principal Fakey quotes from Moral Orel

Orel, there are some things that are burned so deep into a person's subconscious that you forget just why they're there. You only know that they've scarred you in such a horrible and personal way that they must be right.

You're our ringer, Orel, remember that. Not to put the pressure on you, but to put all of the pressures completely on your head.

Now, as you know, there's going to be four categories this year, Orel: Asking for things, praising, general appreciation, and of course, requesting forgiveness.

Orel

Gee, shouldn't "requesting forgiveness" be included in "asking for things"? And come to think of it, "praising" and "general"--

Orel, I think you know who makes the rules for such a thing as praying.

Orel

Oh, of course. [He looks up at the sky]

That's right, a bunch of random guys.

Reverend Putty

Uh, look, just try not to think about it. Not a sight out of mind.

That is easy to say.

Reverend Putty

You can do it. Distract yourself. Giver your wife a baby, that'll make you feel like a good husband. Just pretend.

Clay

Wait a minute! You're asking me to take responsibility for what Orel does?

Rev. Putty

I know it's a tall order.

Clay

90% of the time, I'm not even responsible for my own actions!

What if you quit drinking?

Clay

(mockingly) Yeah, what if?