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S6Mr. Monk and the Daredevil

Randy is reciting the burned out car's VIN to the Captain so he can enter it into a database search]

First letter, "T" as in "tsunami".

"Tsunami"?

Silent "T".

What? No. "T" as in "Tom". Just say "Tom".

What's the difference?

It doesn't... The "T" is silent.

It's not completely silent. "T-sunami".

All right. All right. Let's go.

Second letter, "P" as in...

..."P" as in "Paul".

Too late. I typed it. "P".

Yeah, but the person reading the letters gets to say the word. That's how we do it.

That's how who does it?

Society. We live in a society.

Yes, we do, Randy! Meanwhile, the "P" has been sitting on my screen for ten minutes!

Fine. "P" for "Pam". No! "Panavision". "Tsunami", "Panavision", next letter, "L".

As in... No, we'll come back to that one.

No, we can't come back to it, Randy! [The phone rings; Stottlemeyer answers] Whoever this is, thank you very much for calling.

S6Mr. Monk and the Wrong Man

You should have seen him at that hearing. Staring at me, he hates me. At least we have that in common.

This is a bad (3x), man. Sherry, I made a mistake, and then I compounded the mistake. Don't you make the same mistake, by compounding... my other... mistake... my first...

[After accidentally angering Barton by telling him that his ex-wife might be seeing someone else] I could be wrong, Max, I am not an expert on toilet seats. Did she stand up when she made water? Look, I could be wrong.

S6Mr. Monk Is Up All Night

S6Mr. Monk and the Man Who Shot Santa Claus

[Monk, Natalie and Julie are stuck in gridlock]

Oh, I hate Christmas.

How can you not like Christmas?

Well, you wouldn't like it either, if you hated it as much as I did.

But it's so joyful!

Don't get me started on joy. When you're older you'll understand. Joy is a trick, a diversion. It doesn't last forever. It breaks your heart every time. [Honks the horn and yells out the window] DAMN JOY!

[Monk inadvertently fulfills Brandy's wildest fantasies by looking straight into the camera and saying] I just wanted to say some children watching. I did not shoot Santa Claus. That man was not Santa Claus. There's no such thing as Santa Claus.

So, before Trudy, what was Christmas like for you?

Bleak... depressing... the pain was unrelenting, thank you for asking.

Adrian, they can't all have been that bad.

Pick a year.

Uh... 1964.

1964, good choice. 1964... Mom was sick. Dad was... Dad was Dad. Ambrose locked himself in the basement, he's no fool. That Christmas I got one present - a walkie talkie.

[Being positive] Well, those can be fun. I had a pair of walkie talkies once...

Not a pair. One walkie talkie. Dad said I only needed one because I had no friends.

[Monk and Natalie notice Michael Kenworthy and Monk begins to give chase]

Call the Captain! Tell him to stop the orange truck!

Where are you going?!

I'm going after Santa Claus!

[After him] No! Mr. Monk, no! Mr. Monk, are you sure?! I mean, a hundred thousand percent sure?! It's hard on me, too!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.