You should have seen him at that hearing. Staring at me, he hates me. At least we have that in common.
“Mr. Monk and the Wrong Man” · Season 6
In this episode: Adrian Monk (6), Natalie Teeger (3), Lt. Randall Disher (2), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (1)
Mr. Monk, I'm kinda of choosey about who I make out with.
What? You made out with a leper!
That's different. You sent him to prison, why don't you make out with him?
Mr. Monk, I don't think he wants your help.
How do you know?
Well, the "curl up and die" thing was kind of a hint.
This is a bad (3x), man. Sherry, I made a mistake, and then I compounded the mistake. Don't you make the same mistake, by compounding... my other... mistake... my first...
[Repeated throughout the episode] It wasn't me!
[Handing Max a box] All right, Max, this is for you... Ah, it's... it's a little something.
MBMax Barton
Yeah? Fourteen years of my life in there.
No, just mostly caramels.
Pretzel.
And a chocolate pretzel.
[Captain Stottlemeyer tells Randy to look into a 14 years old murder case] It wasn't my case.
Excuse me, what did... Did you just say it wasn't your case?
No Sir! I said your cousin has a face.
[After accidentally angering Barton by telling him that his ex-wife might be seeing someone else] I could be wrong, Max, I am not an expert on toilet seats. Did she stand up when she made water? Look, I could be wrong.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.