Lt. Randy Disher quotes from Monk

Monk

Hey, toystore!

Randy

What did you just call me?

Monk

Toystore. Your name's Disher, dish. Plate, play-to, play-dough...where do you buy play-dough?

Randy

Toystore?

Monk

That's what I'm talking about.

Marty Eels

He was trying to tell us the name of the man who killed him. Look. [points using his tree branch] He's pointing to his watch.

Adrian Monk

No. He's not, Captain.

Marty Eels

Are there any perps who'd do a job like this by the name of--Casio?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

Casio?

Marty Eels

Lefty? [thinks] Dial?

Lt. Randy Disher

Eddie Dial? He just did seven years in Fulsom Prison for kidnapping and bank robbery; he just made parole.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

Well let's check him out.

Capt. Stottlemeyer

“Wife claims missing billionaire husband still alive. Probate hearing is set for tomorrow. Former homicide detective Adrian Monk is set to testify.” What the hell is Hansen’s Disease?

Monk

Leprosy. He’s a leper.

Capt. Stottlemeyer

Oh my God!

I thought they lived in colonies, you know, like in Ben Hur.

Capt. Stottlemeyer

And, uh, you met this guy face to face?

Natalie

Yep. He’s a client, and he called us. He needed our help. Mr. Monk put aside all his fear and prejudice, and offered to do what he could, and I am very, very proud of him.

Monk

I shook his hand. I can still feel it!

Natalie

He’s not at all contagious. We talked to a specialist. Randy, I think you might know him. Dr. Polanski?

No.

Natalie Teeger

Aaron Polanski?

Lt. Randy Disher

No, can’t say that I do.

Natalie

Really? Because we thought we saw your picture hanging up in his office.

Right. It was a case. I was undercover, posing as a kid, a teenager with bad acne. Captain, you remember that case?

Capt. Stottlemeyer

You’re on your own, Randy.

Monk

It’s still tingling.

Natalie

Well, I’ll tell him you said hi. We’re going out tomorrow night.