Shoes: no kind of life for a man.
S4 E18What Goes Around Comes Around
S4 E19Peggy Turns 300
My birthday is in February. I'm an Aquarium.
Just wait till I remember one of your birthdays!
Mine's in February. I'm an Aquarium.
And an empty one.
S4 E20Peggy Made A Little Lamb
Bud, what do you think? Would this make a great yearbook photo?
I don't know, Kel. (turns her around): If you really want people to remember you, you might want to try this (moves the picture frame below her neck, stopping at her breasts and midriff): Now, all we do is add some fingerprints, and voila: every man's memory.
Aw, Bonnie Malone. See, Kelly? Here's what you should never do in a yearbook photo: pose with your baby.
Peg, I brought someone over to show that you don't need a high school diploma to be important. (gestures outside): Sir?
(the homeless man from "Oh, What a Feeling" and "Rock and Roll Girl" staggers in, holding out his hand)
HMHomeless Man
Change?
I'm heading to the store to get dinner. Hey, how 'bout alphabet soup? That way you can eat and learn.
HEHome Ec Teacher
Miss Bundy, why can't you be more like Reuben?
(Kelly stares at Reuben, a preppy black kid with glasses)
Well, we both like boys.
S4 E21Raingirl
[using a kitchen pot as a bongo drum] Oh, man, we're broke, cha cha cha.
Everybody flat broke, cha cha cha.
Living in the gutter, cha cha cha.
Early grave, cha cha cha.
Everybody -- shoot me!
Today, when I, like the rest of the nation, was wondering where East Dakota was, the weatherman told the manager that either I went or he went.
Oh, well. Losing your first job isn't so bad.
Me? They canned him like a tuna. He was not the one wearing a miniskirt!
S4 E22The Agony Of Defeet
Peggy, I need to ask you something. Have you ever done something that you didn't remember the next day?
Well, having the kids.
No, I mean have you ever done anything that you really regretted?
Having the kids.
S4 E23Yard Sale
You see, yard sales are based on the "Bigger Idiot Theory." That there is nothing too stupid that some bigger idiot won't come along and buy it. The problem is that, eventually, you get to the head idiot and you call her "Mom."
A Bundy never wins, but a Bundy never quits.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.