[Jumba has Pleakley do his paperwork while he goes surfing with David]
This is lucky day for you, my one-eyed friend.
PleakleyOoh! Is today the once-a-year sale in Tessy's Dressies?
No. I have decided to promote you to assistant evil genius!
Pleakley
I wasn't aware I was even in the chain of command! What exactly does the position entail?
Little girl recovered new experiment pods. They need to be identified, registered, labeled, and categorized.
Pleakley
Eh... how much did you say this evil genius stuff pays?
For you, zero, but looks very good on resume.
[Stitch uses Drowsy to help Lilo fall asleep, but now Lilo can't wake up; Stitch puts sunglasses on Lilo and uses her sleeping body as a puppet to do her errands]
Pleakley
Ah, Lilo! Just in time for some processed grain with dehydrated fruity bits.
[imitates Lilo] Uh, not for me. Stitch. [normal voice] Naga. Naga ti chita. [imitates Lilo] Okay! Um... bye! [drags Lilo to Mrs. Hasagawa's fruit stand]
WHERE IS EXPERIMENT 360?!?
Pleakley
I don't know!
What?! It didn't just get up and walk away!
[they both see Drowsy walking past them with a blanket covering himself]
Pleakley
Eh, I should use less starch in the laundry?
Is not laundry! Is my experiment!
[Lilo has failed to convince Mertle and the hula girls to help with cleaning the beach; Pleakley is spraying air freshener all over the kitchen]
Pleakley, what are you doing?!
Pleakley
Oh, I picked up a case of these air fresheners in the store today. Mmm... This mint scent really perks you up. Let's see how "toasted flower garden" makes it feel. [accidentally sprays it on Jumba's face, who grabs him angrily] Hmm, it makes you very very angry. Fascinating.
Why does my neck massager have scent of bubble gum?!
Pleakley
To make you feel... happy?
Can you guys help me clean Pudge's grotto today?
Pleakley
Sure, I'll... [Jumba pulls on his arm] Yipe!
Eh! Pleakley will be too busy massaging aching shoulders of Jumba while he builds new un-smelly massager!
Pleakley
Sorry, Lilo.
[after Lilo and Stitch use combined air freshener to shrink Ploot down to normal size, Ploot finds his one true place by cleaning up the beach]
Pudge says mahalo for cleaning up his home. Oh, and it's gonna rain tomorrow afternoon.
Well, then I'm glad we could help out today.
LLifeguard
Hey, Lilo, this little guy is really helping clean up the beach.
[Ploot chirps happily]
That's great! Way to go, Ploot!
Combination of smelling sprays had very positive influence on his personality as well.
Yeah. He's cleaning up the trash but not spitting it out.
Pleakley
Y'know, now that this cove is clean, it could really use the refreshing scent of tropical ocean breeze!
But there already is a tropical ocean breeze.
Pleakley
How about cherry brownie cheesecake? How about pineapple springtime? Hibiscus heaven? Blueberry and mint?
[Stitch has successfully captured Experiment 319; unfortunately, he was pricked by a quill and is acting goofy]
Jumba, why aren't you affected by Spike?
Pleakley
Spike?
Experiment 319. I'm calling him Spike.
Name is all too appropriate. But to answer question, even Jumba's superior alien bottom is not immune to spiky spikes.
Then how come you're not acting dopey like Stitch?
Ah, for because Jumba designed Experiment 319 to take normally intelligent planetary population, and increase silly goof factor by 99%, leaving only 1% clever.
So, even 1% Jumba brains is super genius. [laughs]
[While Lilo teaches Stitch from scratch, Pleakley gathers up Fibber, Bonnie, Clyde, Nosy, Slushy, Yaarp, Splodyhead, and Spike in the living room]
Pleakley
It looks like we're all here, so let's begin. Using my extensive Earth expertise, I've adapted Dr. Okra's theories into my very own seminar entitled "Evil Attitude Remodification and Wayward Anger Extraction." Or as I like to call it, E.A.R.W.A.X.! [Nosy groans] We'll begin with Level 1: Sharing. Fibber here will buzz if you don't tell the truth, so please speak openly and honestly. Does anyone have anything they like to share with the group? [the experiments all stare at him in boredom] Anybody?
Well, I have something, but...
Pleakley
Oh, no, no! Please, go on, Nosy. You'll feel much better if you just get it off your chest.
Okay! His antenna thingy, it isn't really green. [the experiments gasp in shock; Pleakley gives a shocked look on his face]
Pleakley
Wait a minute, you...
Nope! He's going prematurely orange, but dyes it green at night so no one would notice!
Pleakley
No, I don't!
[Fibber beeps loudly]
And that's not all: he plucks his unibrow!
Pleakley
[clamps Nosy's mouth shut] That's enough! You're supposed to share things about yourself, not other people, especially me!
I'll share something about myself: I'm bored! I'm too smart for this stuff!
[Fibber beeps again; Bonnie tries to grab him, but Clyde grabs her with his mechanical arm]
Hey, Bonnie, if you're so smart, how come we ended up in the slammer?
Ah, can it, Clyde! It's your fault we got nabbed in the first place!
[Fibber beeps again; Clyde laughs while Bonnie angrily raves]
[A big fight occurs during Pleakley's E.A.R.W.A.X. session; Pleakley is enraged that nothing went according to plan]
Pleakley
THAT'S IT!! DR. OKRA SAYS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HUGGING AND CRYING!! WE'RE GONNA HUG AND CRY!!!! [Spike turns towards Pleakley] Oh, boy. Me and my big mouth! [dashes away and comes back wearing a suit of armor, much to the dumbfounded expressions of the experiments] I don't think you're evil! I think you're special! You just need a big hug.
[Pleakley picks up Spike and hugs him, making him struggle for a moment before breaking down and sobbing; the other experiment shed tears and "aw" in response]
[tearfully] I'm sorry, Clyde.
I'm sorry, Bonnie. [they both hug; Slushy and Splodyhead do the same]
I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry!
[Fibber beeps loudly and Nosy sobs]
[Pleakley returns home; Nani is still cooking]
Pleakley
Sorry I'm late, but that airport had great shopping! [gasps] What are you doing in my kitchen?! It looks is if you're... cooking!
Look, Pleakley, I appreciate you helping take care of Lilo, but she's been eating too much junkfood.
Pleakley
Junk?! I beg to differ! Lilo eats only the finest and most expensive breakfasts on the market, like sugar-frosted Pineapple Pops! Coco Nutty Sugar Roll-Ups! Choco-Maca Candybar Crunch! Just look at the faces of the happy healthy children on the box!
All of that stuff is junk! Lilo's a growing little girl, she needs to eat right. So, from now on, I'm making her nutritious meals in advance and leaving them in the freezer. All you have to do is make sure she eats them.
Pleakley
From now on, we're all eating healthy!
This is getting serious, Stitch. We're gonna have to do something before we all starve.
Hmm. [opens the drawer and takes out an experiment pod] Ha ha!
Pleakley
Huh. Guess he had his own stash.
I wonder what it does. [looks up Experiment 062 on Jumba's computer] "Experiment 062. Primary function: prepare delectable and irresistible meals." [gasps] It's perfect!
[Lilo, Stitch and Pleakley activate Experiment 062 who cooks them a gigantic meal of burgers, fries, pizzas, and ice cream]
Pleakley
Food! Glorious food!
[the trio begins to chow down on the food; unbeknownst to them, they rapidly gain weight]
These are the best french fries ever! I'm gonna call you Frenchfry!
[Lilo and Stitch have become large and fat after eating so much of Frenchfry's food]
Pleakley! It's not sun spots making us puffy! It's Frenchfry!
Pleakley
[deep voice] Go away.
Pleakley, what's wrong with your voice?
Pleakley
Please go away.
I'm coming in! [tries to open the door, but it's locked; Stitch yanks the door out and gets squished by a giant yellow mass, which is Pleakley’s stomach]
Pleakley
I told you to go away!
Pleakley?! What happened?
Pleakley
It's some type of allergy to that little monster's delicious food!
FFrenchfry
Bon appetit! [pulls out a bunch of corn dogs]
PPleakey
Oh, no! Not the corn dogs! I can't resist the corn dogs! [grabs the corn dogs and eats them]
[Lilo is hurt after Mertle told Victoria that she's weird]
Pleakley
Lilo, you haven't eaten a thing. And I made your favorite: Chocolate Green Bean Surprise!
There is hardly any radioactivity this time.
Pleakley
You did it! Not again!
Ah, relax! I'm joking! Mostly...
Pleakley
Well, Lilo didn't think it was funny, and I didn't, either!
Please! Little girl is sad because you managed to ruin perfectly good chocolate with disgusting green beanses.
I'm not sad because of the food. I'm sad because I almost made a friend that doesn't think I'm weird, and Mertle ruined it.
Pleakley
Whoo! Thank goodness! I thought it was something serious, like my green bean recipe! Uh... I mean, you almost made a friend today? That's nice.
Everybody thinks I'm weird. Mertle, and Yuki, Teresa, and Elena. I thought maybe Victoria thought I was normal and be my friend.
Pleakley
It's never too late to make a friend. You just need to reach out to her, and show her you can be a friend right back.
I guess I can throw a welcome party for her.
Pleakley
Did you say party?! I'm all about parties! What's the theme?
I've got a theme: Lilo's Not Weird.
Pleakley
Hmm, "Lilo's Not Weird". I'm not sure that's a good theme, because objectively, you are pretty... [Lilo glares at him] Pretty! You are so pretty! Oh, so pretty, and witty! So, "Lilo's Not Weird" is the theme then. I have some great non-weird recipes. Oh! And we can supplies from the exciting new super store just outside of town. They have incredible party platters with incredible prices!
It's official! We're throwing a party!
[Pleakley lifts the towel covering Swapper's container, causing him to swap Jumba and Pleakley's minds]
PJPleakley/Jumba
Oh, no! I've been zapped into an alternate dimension! A place where the laws of time and space are topsy-turvy!
JPJumba/Pleakley
Don't be ridiculous! Our minds have been swapped. You are seeing world through my infinite superior eyes.
PJPleakley/Jumba
Superior?! But the world looks so... weird! And to tell you the truth, tubby!
JPJumba/Pleakley
Ah! At least I can see difference between near and far. [slips and falls] Stupid single eye!
[Mertle and the other girls leave but Victoria stays because she's having fun; Hämsterviel lifts the roof of the house]
HGHämsterviel/Gantu
Greetings, Earthling pack people! I have come for the experiment known as 355!
SLStitch/Lilo
Meega nala kweesta!
JPJumba/Pleakley
Ah, new roof hinge system I installed working perfectly! Keeps repair bills down.
PJPleakley/Jumba
Very thoughtful!
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
