Law & Order quotes

The line between charming someone out of $1,000,000 and being perceived as a charity whore sometimes gets blurred.

You don't get it, Curtis. One hundred years from now, we're all ashes and dust, and no one will remember who slept with whom, or who was naughty and who was nice. They'll look up at that incredible piece of steel and concrete and know that I was a part of it.

Curtis

The first public building named after a convicted murderer.

Hardly the first. The Parthenon, the Temple of the Vestals. They have names of emperors on them. And talk about murderers.

Curtis

Pro bono publico?

Relax, detective. The empire isn't going to fall tonight. Go on. Go home to your wife.

Can you guys make it quick? I gotta cram for my psych exam before the happy hour crunch!

Curtis

Wouldn't you do better in a library?

Hey, I'm covering my tuition and fulfilling a public service.

Briscoe

Oh, which one's that?

Read the literature. Clubs like this, they boost a man's testosterone level. He leaves here feeling confident. More productive...

Briscoe

...and broke.

Then everybody's happy!

Briscoe

You recognize this girl?

She an actress?

Briscoe

She moonlights at a hooter bar when she's not playing Lady Macbeth.

McCoy

Any indication it's Clemente?

Carmichael

The cops asked him for a DNA sample, he refused.

McCoy

Did he have a reason?

Carmichael

Outrage. He says the suspicion of him is racist.

Schiff

Only Hispanic professor on a white campus. Could be he's right.

Carmichael

Could be he did it.

McCoy

Let's make sure we're not trashing this man's reputation just because he's uncooperative.

Carmichael

But let's not let it go just because he's screaming racism!

Carmichael

Peter Kelly's been expelled.

McCoy

What does he care? Probably go into the family business.

Carmichael

As long as it doesn't require a conscience.

McCoy

Tell Mr. Margolis he can stuff his motion to dismiss.

Carmichael

Malenkov's gotta be making a quarter of a million a month by massaging sore muscles.

McCoy

Ain't America grand?

Carmichael

You've gotta hand it to him, though. He's been here 6 years, he's working the system like a slot machine. I'm still trying to figure out alternate side of the street parking.

You think because we have an accent, we're stupid? When I was 14, at a state school in Moscow, I was reading Anderson, Faulkner, Hemingway. I was studying John Keynes, Milton Friedman...

McCoy

[impatiently] Mr. Maletkov, I...!

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. I made a lot of money in Russia. You think that's easy? You try it. So, when I come here... [scoffs; snaps fingers] America's like a big baby. We're taking candy out of your hand. Out of your mouth. So... [speaks Russian] Save your deals for the pipe heads in Harlem. I have appointment to play chess. Okay?

McCoy

I wanna know how this disaster happened.

Briscoe

Best guess, Ricci was followed from work.

McCoy

Why wasn't a police officer stationed in the apartment?!

Lt. Van Buren

In a one-bedroom? That would've been cozy. We tried putting someone downstairs in the vestibule, but the tenants complained!

McCoy

Lieutenant, I don't have to tell you...!

Lt. Van Buren

No. You don't. We're treating this like Ricci was one of our own. What are you gonna do about this retrial?

McCoy

I don't know.

I don't know where Gabriel is. He's driving a cab.

Briscoe

That's why we need to talk to him. He ever lend it to anybody?

No! I don't know. Look, I don't got time to talk to you!

Briscoe

[shows Louisa photos] Hey, did you ever see him with either of these 2 people?

She don't hardly see Gabriel, except to make another stupid baby!

Cállate!

Curtis

Hey! Hey! Hey! Did Gabriel mess with you? Is that why you don't like him?

I take care of myself. I don't like him, but she lets him beat her when she's all pregnant like that.

Curtis

Well, you show us where he is, we make sure he doesn't mess with your sister again. All right?

[after he and his fellow mobsters have been sentenced] Go ahead. Try and kill me. I'm not afraid. I'm tough. I'll survive.

McCoy

Following the rules does not put you above the law. Just ask the Swiss bankers who appropriated the unclaimed accounts of Holocaust victims. Following the rules does not explain how someone who runs a bank could be so incompetent, so gullible. There can be only one explanation. Mr. Radford willingly turned a blind eye to what was obviously a criminal enterprise. And the Russian mob didn't have to cut off his uncle's hands to get him to do it. All they had to do was wave a fat commission in front of him. Now, some might think that money laundering is just some white-collar crime far removed from our everyday concerns. Let me remind you what money laundering is really about. Mr. Radford made his commission on the backs of these people. This country has always been a beacon to the world for liberty and justice. That's why we keep our borders open. But we're also a beacon for another kind of people, for criminals and con men. We rely on the law to protect us from them. Sometimes, that's not enough. Do we need more law, less freedom? Do we cross out parts of the Constitution? I've learned that's not the answer. The answer is that each one of us is responsible to everyone else. Not one of us can afford to turn a blind eye. By respecting the laws we do have, by living up to the true meaning of the word "citizen", we preserve our common good. Through his deliberate ignorance, Mr. Radford allowed a criminal enterprise to flourish. Innocent people to be killed. He allowed a cancer to grow. This is where it has to stop. Here in this court room, with you.

We weren't ignoring your requests. As a matter of fact, we had a meeting with our lawyers about it.

Carmichael

What did ya'll decide?

Much as we'd like to cooperate, it would force us to reveal trade secrets which would damage our ability to remain competitive.

Carmichael

Trade secrets? Mr. Weber, you make guns, not soda pop.

Defense attorney

You're taking the death penalty off the table with the city screaming for blood?

McCoy

The victims families need closure, not blood.

Defense attorney

My client's a healthy young man. Life without parole, that could be 50 or 60 years.

Carmichael

He could always take up smoking.