Rey Curtis quotes from Law & Order

Curtis

Hey, didn't you learn anything from Mister Rogers? A policeman is your best friend.

Briscoe

When I was growing up around here, the worst thing that could happen to you was skinning your knee while playing Johnny-on-the-pony.

Curtis

Yeah, well, I don't remember things being so rosy when I was a kid.

Briscoe

When was that, last week?

Curtis

He goes to NYU. I guess he wanted to see how the other half lived.

Briscoe

They don't live for long.

Are we talking afternoon delight?

Curtis

[pulls out his badge] I'd be delighted to throw you in jail.

Can't arrest a girl for asking.

Briscoe

[about Weber] If he loved his kids that much, he'd have been home to tuck them in.

Curtis

You tell me you never drank too much and blacked out.

Briscoe

Hey, I missed the entire Carter Administration, but I was always home for breakfast.

Briscoe

You had a beef with your boss?

Lt. Van Buren

His lady boss.

Curtis

She was coming on to me.

Briscoe

What?

Curtis

That's why I transferred here.

Briscoe

So can I transfer there?

Curtis

Daddy's little helper.

Briscoe

Yeah, I used to have one of those.

Lt. Van Buren

Your conduct was unacceptable.

Curtis

Why? Cause I let a father discipline his kid?

Lt. Van Buren

No one lays a hand on a suspect in my interrogation room. Now that man was out of control and it was up to you to manage it.

Curtis

Well, that kid was out of control, and you know what scares me? That somebody like that can go to school with my daughter.

Lt. Van Buren

You think you're the only one who loses sleep? Look, if you don't like the way this place is run, transfer.

Briscoe

There's two empty wine glasses in the sink.

Curtis

There's two empty condom wrappers over there. The near-perfect Sunday afternoon.

Briscoe

Yeah: I'd almost trade places with him.

Briscoe

[searching Peterson's apartment] Nice suits, nice carpet. You could put a swimming pool in that closet.

Curtis

Yeah Lennie, but is he happy?

Briscoe

I'd be ecstatic.

Why would I kill my friend over 3% of my net worth?

Curtis

Leverage, Peterson. It was collateral for part of one loan for the airline, that was part of your transportation holding company, which was financed up to your eyebrows. So, you pull out one brick from that wall, it comes crashing down, you gotta go back to collecting Lincoln pennies.

Rey, Rey, Rey, Rey! Do me a favor: go to business school for a couple of years before you explain my financing to me, OK?

Curtis

I can't talk right now - I have to go to business school.

Curtis

5 of us are watching and Flynn's the only one to see Morales reach for his gun.

Briscoe

Hey, Sonny Liston got knocked on his ass by a punch nobody saw.

Briscoe

[about Max Schaeffer] If he did kill Webber, he's walkin' around with 50 grand traveling money in his pocket.

Lt. Van Buren

You think he's gonna run out on his grandson the same way the father did?

Curtis

You know, when we saw the kid, he was playin' a video game.

Briscoe

Yeah?

Curtis

A new PlayStation.

Lt. Van Buren

CD drive?

Curtis

Yeah, with, like, 6 games.

Lt. Van Buren

Ooh. Crash Bandicoot?

Briscoe

Uh, excuse me, young parents. My kids' idea of high technology was Barbie's convertible.

Curtis

How many child support payments did you ever miss, Lennie?

Briscoe

My ex just kept my checkbook. If I ever forgot, she knew how to forge my signature.

Curtis

What exactly is your relationship to Kate?

I'm her philosophical and spiritual exploration guide. And I feed the dogs.