Law & Order quotes

You're charged with murder in the first degree. How do you plead?

Not guilty.

The defendant is serving state time, so bail is moot.

She's remanded. Any other business?

What is it, Mr. Pinsky?

My client is asking me to make an application I feel is clearly inappropriate.

Spit it out, please.

Well, she wants to disqualify Miss Carmichael.

Aren't you gonna say anything?

Judge, I am not going to waste the court's time with this.

Could I represent myself? 'Cause this lawyer's worthless.

Talk to me, Miss Simonelli.

[points at Abbie] She should not be prosecutin' this case. She's prejudiced against me.

Abbie

That's ridiculous.

Let her finish.

She locked me up three years ago, just 'cause I couldn't help her. She's got a grudge against me.

Abbie

Your honor, this woman has some kind of persecution complex.

Save your breath, Miss Carmichael. [to Alice] I'm sorry. I can't disqualify an ADA from a case simply because she...

All I want is a fair trial. This BITCH is out to get me!

[bangs gavel] Enough! Take her out.

I was ashamed.

Carmichael

Why would you feel ashamed if it wasn't your fault?

Have you ever been raped, Miss Carmichael? Maybe I felt stupid for being where Charlie Tyner could rape me.

Carmichael

[taken aback] So now you blame yourself.

Yes.

Carmichael

But now, instead of punishing yourself, you punish Charlie Tyner.

No, no...

Carmichael

You had Luis Pachenko force him to his knees...

He was killing me!

Carmichael

...And beg for his life.

I just wanted to go home to my daughter. Charlie knew that. He was usin' that. He was never gonna stop. I was just scared all the time! Can't you understand that?! He had all the power! I was nothin'!

McCoy

Need a lift?

Carmichael

Go ahead. I'll call a cab. I need to take a breath.

McCoy

Want to talk about it? Or not. Whatever you feel comfortable with.

Carmichael

[turns to leave, but suddenly turns back] I was a freshman. He was a 3rd-year law student. We were on a date ... I never told anybody. I blamed myself. But not anymore.

I believe you're aware the Canadian government has instructed me not to comply with this subpoena.

Carmichael

That's nice. Are they going to send the Canadian army down here to help you carry your money and computers home?

I beg your pardon?

Carmichael

This bank is in New York county. [points] Those detectives are going to take it apart brick by brick to look for the documentation we've subpoenaed.

That doesn't make sense. The transfer you're interested in originated in Ontario.

Carmichael

These detectives are about to search every account file, every computer disk. It'll take a couple of weeks. You can close the bank down now.

First of all, I am not a drug dealer...

Carmichael

Right. You just collect rare cocaine.

Carmichael

We got Stephanie Harker's letter request to transfer $50,000 to Doris Nichols. It came by courier from Muskoka.

McCoy

[surprised] They caved.

Carmichael

Morals are morals. Money is money.

McCoy

Who are you going to shake down to get her car, the Royal Autoclub?

Carmichael

"Nice" for Stephanie seems to mean she hasn't killed you yet.

McCoy

Your good friend Wendy told us that you'd been dumped before. Is that right?

It happens.

McCoy

By a rich boy who treated you like trash. Your father owned a souvenir stand, right?

Yes.

McCoy

Is that why the boy dumped you?

There is nothing wrong with the souvenir stand.

McCoy

Then why were you so desperate to get out of there?

I had some bad memories.

McCoy

Of being dumped because you were poor trash?

Look, I was an idiot! He wanted one thing: My body, and he got it!

McCoy

You weren't gonna let that happen again, were you?

No!

McCoy

From then on, you were going to be the one using people.

I don't use people!

McCoy

How 'bout the used car king? How 'bout your husband?

I helped my husband in a lot of ways!

McCoy

The chairman of a multi-million-dollar software company? How exactly does a drug-whacked daughter of a souvenir stand owner help him?!

There were plenty of things my husband didn't understand. Him and his friends. Jane Austen, like that matters.

McCoy

He understood you, though, didn't he?

What do you mean?

McCoy

He finally understood that you were just a hick town party girl who didn't belong here.

Objection! He's harassing the witness.

Sustained. Watch it, Mr. McCoy.

I belong here as much as any of them!

McCoy

Did he tell you he was shipping you out?!

Nobody ships me anywhere!

McCoy

He'd be able to face his friends again, wouldn't he?

Bunch of snobs!

Your honor, may we have a recess?

McCoy

It's not being a snob if they're really better than you!

The women were jealous of me! The men all wanted to get me in bed!

McCoy

And you were happy to oblige!

No! Not anymore! Nobody takes advantage of me anymore!

McCoy

You were on your way back to that souvenir stand, weren't you?! Where you belong?

I am smarter than all of them! They had it handed to them! I had to work for it! They think I was trash! They don't know anything!!

We kick ass for the white race!

Briscoe

Don't look so pleased with yourself.

Hate's not good. It's just necessary.

Carmichael

[annoyed that McCoy is willing to plea out a murder suspect in return for secret police files] For God's sake, Jack, why don't you just start your own country? No cops, no bad guys, just sweetness and light as far as the eye can see!

McCoy

If the police department doesn't want to be embarrassed by its behavior, perhaps it shouldn't behave that way!

Briscoe

[about Affirmative Action] You wouldn't have gotten any complaints from me; it came in after I joined the department and it'll still be there when I'm gone.

Curtis

Well you wouldn't have liked my answers. When I was filling out my application, when it asked about race, I checked 'none of the above'.

Carmichael

Well I'd like to think I got where I am on my own merit.

Lt. Van Buren

So would I, but I got 2,000 pages of legal documents that say contrary.

Schiff

This kid killed the man that was helping him. Until you can tell me why, you can have all the forensic evidence in the world, you won't get a conviction.

Always eatin' our dust, huh, Briscoe?

Briscoe

Don't even think about it!