Now, Bobby, you may have noticed that there is a difference between a man and a woman.
...a rather obvious difference.
You mean the penis?
“Square Peg” · Season 1, Episode 2
In this episode: Peggy Hill (4), Hank Rutherford Hill (3), Dale Gribble (2), Bobby Hill (1)
Hank walks into the kitchen, Peggy is finishing up a phone call:
Hey there Peg-Leg!
That was Bobby's principal. Some right-wing maniac just called the health teacher with a death threat and she quit.
Oh well. I'm sure it was just some harmless nutcase.
Hey, on the bright side, since there's no one to teach that sex-ed course, we can put all this ugliness back in the closet.
Oh, no, Hank. They found someone. They found the Substitute Teacher of the Year.
Uh, 1995?
[No, me, the winner of] 1996.
(Hank grimaces. Cut to commercial)
The phone is ringing at the Hill residence. Hank picks it up:
Hello?
TCThreatening caller
(hoarse voice) You don't know who I am, but I know where you live, and if you teach that sex-ed class, so help me, I-
Dale? Is that you?
(normal voice) Oh. Hank. Uh, can I speak with Peggy?
Uh, Peggy, it's for you. It's Dale.
Y'ello, Dale.
(hoarse voice) You don't know where I am, but I know where you live...
Peggy is attempting to say the names of reproductive organs for a sexual education class.:
Happiness. Happ-i-ness. Ha-penis. Penis. I did it! Ovaries. Uvula. Uterus. VAAAGINA!
[Hank does a spit-take with his beer.]:
Hey Hank, I just said...
I heard ya! The whole neighborhood can hear you cussing!
It's not cussing Hank, to say the name of a god-given body part.
Well it is if it's the part of a body that was meant to be concealed by an undergarment. You're dealing with organs that people just don't want to know about.
Well, Bobby ought to know about 'em. We don't want him growing up as repressed as we did.
Sure we do. I'm drawing the line here, Peggy. My son is not gonna learn this crazy crap! It says right here that he can't take the class without permission from both his parents!
Now, just hold on. Are you saying I'm not good enough to teach my own son?!
If you do not approve, you do not have to sign, and I do not approve. Permission denied!
[Dale is leaving a message on the Hill's answering machine]
You don't know who I am, but I know where you live and you better cut it out if you know what's good for you. Oh, and Hank, we changed that tee-off time to 3:00.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.