Jade Clones quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Mother means well, but sometimes I think she forgets that I am a grown man.

Jade

Uh, very grown. When she gets in your face, tell her to give you some space.

She would just take it the wrong way. [sigh] I love her, but sometimes I wish mother would just disappear.

[eavesdropping while invisible] Oh? Be careful what you wish for, Tohru.

Might I request bagpipes be played at our dream funeral, lassie?

Jade

[gets an idea] Oh no! The Loch Ness Monster!

Didn't think that thing existed.

[finding Jackie and Jade's unconscious bodies] Jackie! No sleeping! [cuffs Jackie to no response] No "Ow"?

Uncle! We're right here!

Hello? He can't see or hear you!

Then how will he know where we are?

[gasp] Daolon Wong now possesses the power of Astral Projection which he has inflicted upon Jackie and Jade and then applied a finishing spell so that they cannot return to their bodies!

... And you doubted him.

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] Uncle you rock! Now let's find Daolon Wong and kick some shriveled- Aah! [noticing her body] Why are there two of me?

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] Why is your voice coming out of my body?!

I told you Spell complicated...

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] There is only one way inside. [coming to a dead end, he tries to wall-jump up to a window, but his short stature holds him back] Eh, I forgot who I wasn't...

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] Trying to do this, Jackie? [wall jumps up to the window with ease] Cool, huh?

Jade is better at being you than you, Jackie.

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] Stay back, Jade!

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] Yes, Jade. Maybe you should stay back.

Jackie

[in possession of Jade's body] Uh... okay. But I am giving you permission to defend us this one time only.

Jade

[in possession of Jackie's body] I'm gonna do you proud!

Jade

Hey, sorry I goofed on you back there, Chip.

Whatever. It's tough enough getting Coach to take me seriously. I don't need your help in that department.

Jade

Tch. Listen Chip, if there's one rule Jade Chan lives by, it's this: If coach won't give you a shot, you have to put yourself in the game.

You're just a little girl. What do you know about football?

Jade

Let's just say my coach doesn't always put me in the game, but I know you can't make the big plays from the sidelines.

Jade

Give me a Di!

Di!

Jade

Give me a Zao!

Zao!

Jade

Put that together, and what do you have?

[dancing] Yu mo gui gwai fai di zao! Yu mo gui gwai fai di zao!

Go Jackalopes!

Thank you! Merry Christmas! Bye bye! [chuckles]

Jade

Are you sure Uncle isn't running a fever?

Jackie

Jade, Uncle loves Christmas. It is when sales are best. [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!

Commercialism not important! Christmas spirit is. [puts Santa Hat on Jackie's head]

[walks in with a tray of cookies] Aah, Mother's recipe.

[obviously lying] Yes. And.. we will be so... happy to see her for the holidays, Tohru.

Jade

Weird.

We must leave some out for you know who.

Jackie

Who? [Tohru grows worried when they see Jade standing behind them] Oh! I mean uh, I am sure Santa will be very hungry tonight. [Tohru chuckles]

Jade

Tch. Nice try. But I'm old enough to know the low down on the Kris Kringle scam.

Jade, you do not believe in Santa Claus?

Jade

Sure I do. Just like I believe the Tooth Fairy, right Jackie?

Jade

Gotcha!

Jackie

I told you the Tooth Fairy was sick and I was filling in.

Tooth fairy does not exist.

Jade

Ha! See?

But Santa Claus does.

Jade

Huh?

I have research to prove it.

Jade

The whole time I've been in America, I haven't grown one inch. I'll never grow up, Jackie.

Jackie

Patience, Jade. Enjoy your childhood while it lasts.

Jade

Tch. I have a billion years of school left. I can't reach anything in the freezer and I never get invited on your missions. Way enjoyable.

Jackie

While Uncle and I search for the horse, you two will wait here and stay out of trouble.

Jade

Aw...

Young Valmont

Now see here, just because I look like a child doesn't mean you can treat me like one!

Jackie

I am treating you like a criminal. Tohru will treat you like a child.

Now... [pops knuckles] Are you going to be a good little boy?

Jade, please keep the birds off your uncle.

Jade

Aw...

Jackie

You can finish introductions later, Jade. It's almost time for school.

Jade

[gasp] School?!

Jackie

All good things must come to an end, even Spring Break.

Drew

[seeing Jade's exhibit of the Talisman animals] No way! A petting zoo?

Jade

Look. Don't touch.

Drew

Where did you get all these?!

Jade

These, Drew, just happen to be the animals I- [catches herself] borrowed from my cousin. The zookeeper.

Drew

[suspiciously] Hey... These are the magic animals aren't they?!

Jade

No! I mean- [chuckles] You got me Drew, I was making all that magic stuff up the whole time. Me and my imagination.

Jackie

[finding Tohru stretching in a temple] Tohru!

[relieved] He is safe.

Jade

What's he doing?

It would seem my apprentice seeks inner peace, so I will give him piece... OF UNCLE for making us worry ourselves sick!