Jade Clones quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

We are dealing with a very sick mind.

Jade

Uncle, you have to do something!

I am not Geppetto. I do not bring puppets to life.

Jade

[getting an idea] You're a genius!

Jade

The Rat Talisman brings motion to the motionless. [places the Rat Talisman on the Jackie Puppet] This oughta get Jackie back on his feet.

Jade

Well, it's a start.

What? What is it?

[rushes forward] Nothing! Do not look in mirror!

[sees reflection] Bwah!

I told you not to look in mirror! He never listens.

[brandishes a large axe] How much wood does a woodchuck chuck?

Jade

Oh my gosh, look out!

Huh? [turns around; Jade and Jackie's puppet run away; realizes] Can't believe I fell for that old gag.

Jackie, guard the door in case it returns!

Jackie

"It"?

Hidden inside of an antique? Mr. Lam tried to trick us into taking it!

Jackie

What is "it"?

A Jiang Shi Vampire!

Jade

Told ya.

Jackie

... Did the little monster put you up to this?

Chinese vampire drain Chi. Life energy from the prey making the vampire stronger, and turning the victims into servants. Without any Chi, Tohru will soon transform into a fiendish minion of darkness! We must perform a Chi transfusion!

Jackie

Transfusion? You want to put someone else's Chi in Tohru's body?

Jade

Tch. Where are you gonna find someone with that much extra- [Uncle grabs her] Whoa!

You have abundant youthful energy. Chi to spare. It is the only way to prevent Tohru from serving the undead!

Jackie

Thank you, Tohru.

[with Jade's Chi] I just slam-dunked a Chi Sucker! I rule! [begins to dance] Go Tohru! Go Tohru! I'm the bomb!

Hmmm. It appears the Chi transfusion was successful.

Jade

[dancing] Go Jade! Go Jade! Lotta Chi Girl! Saving Tohru!

[with Jade's Chi] How are we gonna save Uncle without Uncle???

Jade

[with Uncle's Chi] We must do research!

Jackie

You gotta be kidding me.

[with Jade's Chi; holding an unconscious Uncle] He's starting to go all fang-y.

Jackie

Uncle is turning into the vampire's minion. Use my Chi for the transfusion. [is cuffed by Jade] Ow!

Jade

[with Uncle's Chi] I do not know such spells! Jade has Uncle's CHI, not his brains!

Jade

[with Uncle's Chi, after Uncle fully transforms] Aiya! He is a servant to the vampire!

[with Jade's Chi] Duh!

Jade

[with Uncle's Chi] We must all reclaim our Chi before sunrise, or it will belong to the Vampire forever!

[with Jade's Chi] You mean I'd be stuck in Jade-mode?

Jade

[with Uncle's Chi] You would rather have Uncle's Chi? I cannot stop thinking about digestion!

[in a state of paralysis] My master will drink you dry! Drink you- [mouth covered by Jackie]

Jackie

How do we take back the Chi?

[with Jade's Chi] Easy. We just hunt down Count Jerkula, and... [kicks and punches in the air]

Jade

[with Uncle's Chi] No! Magic must defeat magic! We must collect a toadstool from a graveyard, place it inside the vampire's left sock, and throw the sock into a river!

Jackie

... You're making this up.

Jade

[with Uncle's Chi] You want to stop the Jiang Shi? Yes? THEN DO WHAT JADE TELLS YOU! One more thing. We must hurry. The sunrise is in thirty minutes!

[with Jade's Chi] Come on Jackie! It's vampire butt-kick time!

Jackie

This is too weird.

[coming upon a large idol of three stone monkeys] There!

Jade

Whoa! Mt. Chimpmore.

The great idol of the Three Wise Monkeys. Legend tells that it is filled with Dark Chi.

Jackie

The idol is evil?

No. Three Wise Monkeys are guardians. Good wizards sealed the Dark Chi within them looking ago, so that humanity may neither see, hear, nor speak of such evil. [shudders] Oh.

What is it, sensei?

The willies!

Daolon Wong

[suddenly appearing] No doubt the forces of light have summoned you here, since I possess the only existing map.

Jackie

Daolon Wong!

Jade

The anti-Uncle!

Jade

DAOLON IS GONE!

As is the idol!

Jade

MOUNT CHIMPMORE IS GONE TOO!

That is what I just said!

Jade

DAOLON IS GONE AND HE TOOK MT. CHIMPMORE WITH HIM!

Aiya! Stop shouting Jade! I am old, not deaf! [Jackie gets Uncles attention, but still cannot speak] Speak up Jackie! I cannot hear you!

[fumbling around with his hands] How can you see through this cloud of Dark Chi?

There is no Dark Chi cloud!

Then why can I not see you?

Jade

UNCLE! NO SOUND IS COMING OUT OF JACKIE'S MOUTH!

[realizing] Because Jackie is mute.

Jade

UNCLE! NO SOUND IS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

Jade is deaf!

[fumbling with Uncle's face] Sensei?

[muffled] And Tohru is blind!

[wandering around] We are like the three Wise Monkeys!

Jade

WHAT? SPEAK UP TOHRU!

[walking away] I said "We are like the-"

Jade

YO! TOHRU! OVER HERE! I DON'T THINK T CAN SEE!

Why were you not affected, Sensei?

As a student of Master Fong, I am protected by an abundance of Good Chi.

Jade

IF I'M DEAF, AND TOHRU IS BLIND, THAT MEANS UNCLE MUST BE MUTE! [Jackie tries to tell her that he's mute] JACKIE, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, DUH!

Jackie

[Shocked] What did you do?!

Jade

What did you do?! You put an old junk heap in the middle of the floor!

Jackie

That "old junk heap" is a priceless antiquity on loan from the museum!

Jackie

[nervously pacing] Oh, broken statue...

Jade

Sorry!

Jackie

Broken statue!

Jade

Sorry!

Jackie

Broken statue!

Jade

Sorry!

Jasmine tea to calm the nerves...

Jackie

Yes, I can see my future in the tea leaves. The museum contacts the university, my career winds up like that statue; ruined! [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!

Your career not important! Now we will never read the inscriptions. Knowledge has been lost forever! ... Must call my insurance agent, see if I'm covered for this.