Invader Zim · Season 1, Episode 9
“A Room With a Moose” · Season 1, Episode 9
In this episode: Zim (11), Dib (6), GIR (4), Ms. Bitters (4)
[Dib raises his hand]
Yes, Dib?
Ms. Bitters, Zim's trip to the bathroom has taken a really long time.
I seem to remember you taking an awful long time to go to the bathroom as well, Dib.
[pathetically] But that was "Corn and Mayonnaise" day!
[harshly] Oh, that's no excuse!!!
My business... is done!
Who takes three hours to go to the bathroom before lunch, Zim?
Nonsense! I had much to do. So much!
[over the skool intercom] Greetings, children of Earth! This is your new school announcer. A special surprise mandatory field trip is happening for the following lucky children. Morla, Flan, Red Rocky, everyone in Ms. Bitters's class except for Zim. And especially Dib. All these children get to go to a special place made entirely of food. I like food! Now check this out!
[He makes beatbox noises. Zim shuts the intercom off]
Now open up your textbook and begin memorizing the copyright information. You will be quizzed on this.
Ms. Bitters, I have a [yells] MIGHTY NEED... to use the restroom once again.
Okay, but that's your last bathroom break for the rest of the school year.
I will leave you to your...
[whispering to Zim] Moosey fate!
Eh...
[whispering] Say moosey fate!
...Your moosey fate.
[ GIR starts laughing]
But I chose this particular worm hole especially for the occasion. You see, at the end of this wormhole lies: A ROOM with a MOOSE!!
AAAAAHHHH- Wait a minute! Did you say, a room with a moose?
Yes. Your fear is overwhelming, no?
Um...no. What's so scary about a room with a stupid moose? I mean, yeah, that's a big moose, but really-
Oh, you'll see. PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMINENT RELEASE!
Nuh-uh!
[Zim launches walnuts into wormhole]
Are those walnuts?
Yes.
My walnuts!
LEAVE NO EVIDENCE!
(pounding on computer) NO! NO! THE MOOSE HAS FAILED ME!
[The class has gathered around the new classroom pet, a hamster named Peepi, which is running around in its hamster-wheel]
Take a good look children. It will prepare you for your adult lives in our nightmarish corporate system.
Experts are still baffled over the origins of "Ultra-Peepi," the giant, mutant hamster now ravaging the city, but they all agree he's just fuzzy-wuzzy adorable, isn't he? He sure is!
[On the screen behind the anchorman, Ultra Peepi is seen about to stomp on the news station. His foot comes crashing through the ceiling, crushing the Anchorman]
[Ultra-Peepi, altered by Zim's device, breaks out and starts destroying the city]
Anything you'd like to confess?
Of course not. Don't be silly.
(to GIR) Wadda ya watching?
Angry Monkey.
THAT... horrible monkey!
Mm-Hm! Where's Ultra Peepi?
He's working.
[Facing off against Peepi in his Zoot Cruiser]
You made me do this, Peepi! I hate to be the bad guy, but you must be disciplined! Or you'll never learn!
Peepi! Peepi!! The weenie tempts you!
[Peepi chases after Zim and giant hot dog]
..Now we're being attacked by giant weenies.
Why? Because! When you create a giant monster of doom, you have to-..You have to-.. I don't know.
[Kid starts sniffling]
But stop sniffling sad little Earth-monkey, Ultra-peepi will live on...[starts waving hand] out there...in the stars.
[huge crash is shown behind Zim down-town]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
