Ms. Bitters quotes from Invader Zim

Ms. Bitters?

Ms. Bitters

[is startled into waking from a brief snooze in her desk chair] Yes, Zita?

I think Dib seems crazier than normal today. Can we use one of the crazy cards to send him to the crazy house for boys?

Ms. Bitters

Each class only gets three cards a month. Are you sure you want to use one?

Yeah...

Ms. Bitters

Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.

Awww...

Zim

I am here, Dib worm, and I have sold over 1.2 million revolting candy units! [He drops his fistful of money and walks over to Ms. Bitters, who is holding a package. She hides it behind her back.] I am prepared to receive the power of the mystery prize! GIVE TO ZIM!

Ms. Bitters

Well, this has never happened before. [She prepares to tear open the package.] Zim, your prize is... [She tears open the package. Zim grunts in anticipation and wriggles his fingers. Ms. Bitters examines a piece of paper that was inside the package.] Your prize is nothing. [Zim's eyes widen.] There is no mystery prize! they just made it up to make kids work harder for no money.

Zim

Eh?

Ms. Bitters

As a consolation, here's some tuna. [She pulls a can of tuna out of the package and hands it to Zim. Zim lifts the can of tuna into the air.]

Zim

Curse you, Poop Dawg! CURSE YOU!

Level 1 infestation, ma'am.

A level 1... I am Countess von Verminstrassor, the Delouser! For your own good, you will cooperate! You have lice, and until your condition improves, you will be detained here indefinitely!

Dib

You can't really make us stay here...

You dare question me, question my methods?!? You, who stands to benefit the most from my work?!? You disgust me!

Ms. Bitters

What a nice lady.

Dib

All I said was-

Silence! Let the delousing begin!

Ms. Bitters

The candidates will now speak. And then be quiet! And then I go away from you all.

Zim

As president, I will assure that all mankind has its legs sawed off!

Zim

[nervously] And, uh, replaced with legs of pure gold!

Zim

Yes! And I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your heads!

I like gold!

I like my head!

Zim

Vote for Zim or I'll destroy you! Vote for Zim or I'll destroy you!

Dib

Ms. Bitters! Zim is threatening the voters! He's disqualified, right?

Ms. Bitters

[to an administration droid] The child shrieks like a fruit bat.

Ms. Bitters

[looks at Zim giggling after she burns up Melvin's drawing] Do you find something amusing, Zim?

Zim

Yes. Yes, I do. [lays his head on his desk, pointing] Look at this space suit!

Ms. Bitters

[sits back in her desk] Now, does anyone have any questions? [Dib raises his hand] Does anyone have any questions that don't have anything to do with lunatic ideas about Zim being an alien? [Dib puts his hand down]