Invader Zim · Season 2, Episode 5
I have shown you the horrors of war...the devastation of famine...pictures of my birth! But I don't think you comprehend what awaits you in adult life. To better prepare you for the inevitable character building horrors, we will now play bludgeon-ball! It's fun!
Whoa,check out his eyeball
The eyeball of and alien invader!
LIES!LIES!Have you not heard of pinkeye?!? It is a normal human illness.
Yeah,Pinky got it really bad last week.
[surprised] You...you believe me? Wait a minute, you were in some hideous government experiment where they hit you in the head with car doors right?
[looking at a picture of himself tied up in an alligator's mouth] Ha ha, almost, but no! I really do believe you!
Dwicky! Do you really believe in aliens?!?
[laughs] Not anymore! All the child-like wonder was ripped from my heart the day my foot got stuck in an escalator and aliens didn't come rescue me! No, I'll just humor Dib until he tells me what the real problem is.
[spazzes out] AGH! That's...psycho-technical talk!! [falls to the floor]
Indeed it is.
Zim! We meet again!
...I just saw you three hours ago.
A real space ship. Space ship! And you actually fly through the stars seeing all the universe?
Well, flying through the stars would be pretty STUPID, man! But yeah, we fly around. You want to come along?
Wow! Do I?!?
[Zim stuffs a globe into a goldfish bowl, goldfish is crushed against side of bowl]
Now do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for earth conquest, GIR?
I'm gonna eat that fish.
No, GIR. The fish is part of the plan.
Do not be alarmed. The student president has experienced a failure in spirit. A new election will be held immediately. Volunteers? Volunteer?
Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Pick Zim! Zim is me! Zim is me! Zim shall rule! Pick Zim! Zim! Me! I am Zim!
Zim. Analysis: moron. Suitable. Candidate 2 needed. Volunteers?
But Zim's criminally insane! That's not good!
Dib. Analysis: annoying.
[The droid slams a muzzle around Dib's head]
Egggh,lies
The candidates will now speak. And then be quiet! And then I go away from you all.
As president, I will assure that all mankind has its legs sawed off!
[silence]
[nervously] And, uh, replaced with legs of pure gold!
[The students smile approvingly]
Yes! And I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your heads!
I like gold!
I like my head!
Candidate 2, be quick! I can only survive so long in the sun.
Vote for Zim or I'll destroy you! Vote for Zim or I'll destroy you!
Ms. Bitters! Zim is threatening the voters! He's disqualified, right?
[to an administration droid] The child shrieks like a fruit bat.
[The droid slams another muzzle around Dib's head]
If I am elected, Dib's head will be removed and filled with salted nuts!
[GIR flies over the crowd]
Salted nuts!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
