WMr. Weathers
I told you, my son didn't do cocaine.
Druggies are not known for their honesty. Trust me on this one. [pops Vicodin]
S8 E2Transplant
But just do whatever you have to do to get over this. Punch me in the face, kick me in the nuts. Either or. Both seems excessive.
S8 E3Charity Case
You said we were meeting for coffee.
Well, when someone asks you if you want coffee, they obviously don't just mean coffee. Wait, did you think I was referring to sex? [to Park] Would you shut the blinds on the way out?
In the meantime, there's no way a do-gooder like you isn't volunteering all over town. Ladling kittens, spaying soup.
There is a free clinic in Trenton.
Well, think of it as today's free clinic, only with fewer bums with herpes.
House, I worked for you for 7 years. I know how you operate. So when I see symptoms magically show up right when you need them...
And I was your boss for 7 years, and I know what a suspicious, micromanaging hardass you are.
I'm not joking. You're fired. Don't come in tomorrow.
RHDr. Remy "Thirteen" Hadley
House...
I can work with people who've got nowhere else to go. People who've got something to prove. People who just get off on weird cases. but I can't work with someone who is here so she doesn't have to feel bad.
You're trying to save me.
Yes. I think that little of you and that much of me.
PPark
You do know I punched the last person that pissed me off?
[while rolling her eyes and walking away] Was it Santa?
S8 E4Risky Business
PPark
Dr. Wilson, I need your advice. Um, I bet House $100 that I wouldn't get fired after my disciplinary hearing. Ever since then he's been acting like he's actually trying to get me fired.
That's because he is actually trying to get you fired.
PPark
Does he hate me?
I'm not sure that's relevant to the equation.
PPark
So it's really over $100.
I'm not sure the amount is relevant. He's fighting for his honor.
PPark
He'll ruin my career!
I'm not sure that's...
PPark
What if I bet him $200 I WILL get fired?
He sees competing bets from the same person a disgrace to the game. He'll be even more motivated to beat you.
PPark
If you were me, what would you do?
You have to give him something he values more than honor. And you should update your resume.
Loyalty to real estate is stupid, because loyalty is stupid.
PPark
First patriotism, now loyalty. You hate ice cream, too?
French vanilla. To willfully identify yourself as something is a perversion of self-expression.
I could do $5,000.
Really? No backsies?
If.... you double your clinic hours. 6 a week. I've seen how you disrespect those patients.
So you want twice as many of them disrespected?
Spend more hours with them, you'll treat them more humanely.
And this time a land war in Russia will be a good idea.
Thad Barton? We only help rich white guys?
I am an equal opportunity exploiter. I only help those who can help myself.
I claim this burger in the name of Queen Isabella of Spain.
I'll go check on the patient. [she gets up and House is about to bite down on her burger] I have hepatitis C.
PPark
[as House is about to bite down on her burger instead] She got it from me.
S8 E5The Confession
As the new Dean of Medicine, I'd like to personally welcome our new employees, and ask why the Hell did you want to come back?
Tired of surfing.
He hasn't changed.
And neither has the job, right? We still get to do crazy crap.
Save people's lives instead of just their noses.
PPark
But it could end up causing another cardiac arrest.
Hopefully, and we'll know what set it off.
What he means is, it's better to do it here where we can revive him than have it happen somewhere else.
The prodigal son has returned. [hugs Chase]
If people told nothing but the truth, the world would probably burn down overnight.
Some people think it's burning now. Maybe if everybody didn't lie...
Aw, that is cute. I'm talking about your breasts. They always get perky when you're being painfully earnest. Truth. It's uncomfortable, isn't it? More truth... I only noticed because Chase was staring at them. He'd never admit it, because he doesn't want to offend you. Same reason he'd never tell you that he's thought about having sex with you. Although, to be fair, every man you've ever met has thought about having sex with you. They'll lie, because if you knew, you probably wouldn't want to have sex with them. And that's just some of the lies from the last minute. And here's a bigger one: you already know this, but you pretend you don't because it makes you feel civilized. Most people find it easier to ignore the truth.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.