Wilhelm Klink quotes from Hogan's Heroes

Klink

Hogan, I was wondering if you were aware of the fact that this is a prison camp.

Hogan

[Laughing] Well, if it isn't, you're wasting a lotta guards and barbed wire fences!

Klink

[Visibly annoyed] That's very amusing. Ha ha ha!

Hogan

Nothing like a good laugh, is there, sir?

So that is Colonel Hogan?

Klink

You've heard of him?

Yes. I know all about him. Born in Ohio, graduated from the Aviation Cadets- third in his class!

Klink

[Uncomfortably] Well, their standards are much lower than ours.

Schultz

[entering Klink's office] Herr Kommandant, Major Pruhst here to see you.

Klink

Major Pruhst? I've never heard of him.

General Burkhalter

If I'm not discussing this with Colonel Hogan, why are you?

Klink

I don't know.

General Burkhalter

Then stop talking to him!

Klink

Schultz! Tell Colonel Hogan that I do not wish to discuss it with him.

Schultz

Colonel Hogan, Colonel Klink does not wish to discuss it with you.

Hogan

Tell Colonel Klink he's gonna be in as much trouble as General Burkhalter!

General Burkhalter

Klink! Tell Schultz to tell Hogan I'm in no trouble.

Klink

Schultz! Tell Colonel Hogan that General Burkhalter is in no trouble.

Schultz

Colonel Hogan, Colonel Klink says that-

Hogan

They're both gonna be in trouble if they don't get rid of that rocket launcher!

General Burkhalter

Klink! Tell him he can't threaten me!

Klink

Schultz! Tell him he can't threaten him!

Schultz

General Burkhalter told Colonel Kli-

Hogan

This is my last warning!

General Burkhalter

I don't take warnings from prisoners!

Klink

Neither do I!

Hogan

You will this time!

Schultz

PLEASE! Wait for me!

General Burkhalter

KLINK! England is [Points] that way!

Klink

General Burkhalter, I-I can't understand what happened!

Hogan

What's that way?

General Burkhalter

My house, for one thing!

Hogan

Frankly, General, I always thought it was a lousy neighborhood anyway.