Histeria! quotes

Sammy Melman

Say, you seem too young to be a judge.

Loud Kiddington

Yeah, and you seem too stupid to be a lawyer!

Sammy Melman

Hey!!

Loud Kiddington

No wait, I'm takin' that back! You seem stupid enough to be a lawyer!

Cho-Cho

When I get older, I am going to be a singer and change my name to Yoko Ono.

Loud Kiddington

[singing] 55 bottles of root beer on the wall, 55 bottles of root beer...

Charity Bazaar

Will you be quiet? I can't stand that stupid song.

Loud Kiddington

GREAT! YOU MADE ME FORGET WHERE I WAS! NOW I GOTTA START OVER! [singing] 99 bottles of root beer on the wall, 99 bottles of root beer...

Charity Bazaar

I'm not happy.

Cho-Cho

Lucky Bob, have you seen Big Fat Baby?

Lucky Bob

Yeth now!

Cho-Cho

Where?

Lucky Bob

In my mashed potatoes.

Froggo

Lucky Bob definitely needs a vacae.

Sammy Melman

And when lightning strikes, I suppose that's not Zeus shooting at liars!

Well, what about when lightning hits a tree? Can a tree be a liar?

Trees can't even talk! Hahah! [is suddenly struck by lightning] Oops!

Lydia Karaoke

Mr. Socrates, no no no! Hi, I'm Lydia Karaoke, network censor, and we don't want consuming of poisonous beverages on Histeria! This is a kids' show!

But I've been sentenced to death!

Lydia Karaoke

Well, you can't die on Histeria! Give me that!

Good, 'cause I'd really rather have a double grandé mocha latté and a Snickerdoodle.

Lydia Karaoke

Now that'll kill you.

Miss Information

We're walkin' past the famous Washington Monument, which as y'all know is named after the famous city of Washington DC.

Uh, ma'am, how many times do I have to tell you? The monument is named after me, George Washington.

Miss Information

Oh really? Well, I don't think anyone calls this the George Monument, now do they?

Uh, no.

Miss Information

Case dismissed! Let's hustle, people! We're walkin', we're movin', we're headin' towards the Lincoln Memorial, which of course was named after the town carver of the same name.

Froggo

[in a spitball fight] Surrender or die!

Aka Pella

Ha! Surrender? I'll whoop yo' bottom!

Froggo

She's good!

I have come to take over your castle! Surrender immediately and give it to me! [Froggo and Aka dump a bucket of water on him.]

Froggo

You asked for it!

Aka Pella

Try not to get rusted, dawg!

Loud Kiddington

Go home, you bums!

This means war!

Aka Pella

And this means "Get away from our castle", homie! [She and Froggo dump another bucket of water on Loretta.]

Toast

Quick, dude! Get me a fan!

Loud Kiddington

Check! [lifts in Pepper]

Pepper Mills

Ahahaha! Sir Toastalot! [hugs Toast] You're the dreamiest!

Toast

[still holding Pepper in arms, lifting her into the air] No, dude, the other kind of fan!

Loud Kiddington

Double check! [Loud then sweeps Pepper away from Toast's arms and puts her in his own, and throws her out of the way. He replaces her with a giant fan.]

[mockingly] Missed me, missed me, and now you've got to kiss me!

Okay, men, there will be no mistakes this time!

[mockingly] Rally, rally, the dumb guy's name is Sally!

How did they know my name is Sally?

It's not. Your name is Lisa.

Right! Thanks, Loretta!

Can we go home now?

No! We're not stopping until the castle is ours. Charge!

Visa or Mastercard?

[gets stampeded over by his minions] I'm definitely over my credit limit...

Ha-haa! We've done it! We've finally broken through!

And now it's time to use our nastiest weapons!

Toast

Yeah, dudes! Those weapons are pretty nasty, all right. But they're not as nasty as ours! Bring out the secret weapon!

Lucky Bob

One secret weapon coming up!

Awwww! Look at the cute little baby! Koochie koochie koo!

Charity Bazaar

I'm still not happy.

Toast

Hey, remember dudes, no matter how you fight your battles, war stinks!

Should old acquaintance be forgot? / And never brought to mind? / We’ll take a cup of kindness yet for Auld Lang Syne. / For Auld Lang Syne, my dear / for auld lang syne, / farewell to thee from Histeria! / And days of Auld Lang Syne. [cheering]

Father Time

That’s a wrap!