BFBig Fat Baby
Moo moo moo.
The Dawn of Time
But the early farmer had finally prevailed the auroch or the cow was the last major animal to be obtained as a food source.
TTaz
What food source? Why you little.
The Teddy Roosevelt Show
[Throughout this coversation, mosquitoes continually bite the characters.]
Mr. President-dude! Ow! Thanks for coming and stuff.
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Ow! Dee-lighted! What's wrong here, friend? Ow!
Well - dang! - for starters, just look! Ow! Mondo disease! The canal-digging is slowing down because everyone's getting sick - ow - with malaria and yellow fever! Ow!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Hmmm... ow! The same two blasted diseases that crippled the French when they were digging the canal! Ow!
Ow! Whaddaya think - ow! - is causing it? Ow!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Ow! I don't know. Ow!
Could it be - ohw! - the food?
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Ow! I don't think so.
Humidity? Goh!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Ow! Doubtful. Ohw!
Ow! Tight pants?
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Nuh-uh. Ouch!
Bean-bag babies? Ow!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Ow! Not likely.
Smell of gin?
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Who?
Never mind. Ow!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Ow!
Those little bobbing-head dolls?
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Ow! Nope.
Too much - ow! - pocket change?
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Yeow! I don't think so.
Tapioca pudding? Ouch!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
Hey, maybe... naw. Ow!
Ow! Anything starting with the letter Q? Ow!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
No! Ow!
Spanish peanuts? Owh!
TRTheodore Roosevelt
No! Oww!
Aliens from Mars wearing golf shoes and lipstick?
TRTheodore Roosevelt
No, no, and you need help. Ow! Well, whatever it is, it's making the men sick. These pesky mosquitoes sure are driving me crazy!
[Loud is] like a little firecracker, isn't he?
WSWorld's Oldest Woman
More like a crate of dynamite!
GBGutzon Borglum (Elmer Fudd)
Hold the stwing wight dere and be vewy vewy quiet. Woud noises can stawt--
LBLincoln Borglum (Loud Kiddington)
WHAJDA SAY, POP?!?
GBGutzon Borglum
An avawanche!! Aaaahhh! [a boulder crushes him]
GBGutzon Borglum
Aah, finished! West and wewaxation at wast! And thanks to your help, it only took fouteen yeaws to compwete.
LBLincoln Borglum
Aww, you're only saying that because I'm your son.
GBGutzon Borglum
No, I'm saying that because working awone, I could've finished it in six yeaws!!
Communuts!
[reenacting the fall of the Berlin Wall]
Big Fat Baby sat on the wall!
Big Fat Baby has a great fall!
Despite the destruction, Baby had fun
As East and West Germany united as one!
JSJoseph Stalin
I am here to see my agent!
SSecretary
You got an appointment?
JSJoseph Stalin
Do you know who I am!?
SSecretary
Well, you look a little like that Super Mario guy.
Americana
You can lead a horse to water, but it's tough to get those swim fins on his hooves.
Howdy Puritans and Pilgrims! Loud Kiddington here! And if I can't make you a deal, my dog Fetch'll eat a turkey pellet!
Huh?! Can we talk about this?
The French Revolution
We can't keep living like this.
You mean 'cause all us peasants are poor and starving!?
No, 'cause Toast is always hugging the bathroom.
North America
Howdy prospectors and miners! Loud Kiddington here! And if I can't make you a deal, my dog Fetch here will eat an ariumu chip!
Huh?!
Histeria Goes to the Moon
I spy, something that begins with the letter "B".
Blinking lights?
Nope.
Big moon outside window?
No.
Black darkness of deep outer space?
No.
A bagel?
No.
A blintz?
No.
CCaption
55 HOURS LATER
A bupka?
No.
Big Fat Flying Baby?
No.
A Bob who is lucky?
Uh... no.
Bursting blood vessels in the astronauts' necks?
AAstronauts
TELL HER ALREADY!!
WHAT DO YOU SPY THAT BEGINS WITH A "B"?!!
Chocolate!
Heroes of Truth & Justice
Your Honor, this trial is a circus!
I know! More cotton candy, please!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Histeria! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.