Hell's Kitchen quotes

Sebastian tried to be funny, but it was his cooking that was the joke.

(Knocks on a counter in the dorm) Let's press the bell, bitch, because we can argue!

Ding!

Don't call me "bitch"!

Don't mess with a heavyweight and you're a lightweight.

You're dealing with the wrong person!

Yes, I'm dealing with a crazy, deranged person!

What a fucking baby.

You need to watch your stuff.

(mockingly as she goes into the bedroom) Eah, she pointed her finger at me about the rFisotto, fuck off! (slams the door shut which causes a roof tile to come loose and hang over the door)

Oh, my God! She just broke the ceiling!

Excuse me, chef? I have something to say.

Please, Gina.

Unfortunately, I am not going to be staying here for this challenge. I'm going to be leaving.

You happy to throw the towel in so quickly?

I have some personal issues; unfortunately, I have to.

I'm not going to stop you. Please go back up to the dorms, pack your stuff, and leave Hell's Kitchen.

Thank you, chef.

Bye, Gina.

Man, right on the team challenge, this stupid bitch backs out. Bitch, you going to back out doing of a competition? If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. That bitch folded like a piece of wet paper towel.

What is that? Fucking muppets! All of you. All of you. All of you!

Yes, chef!

Taste that! Hurry up, Jessica! Haven't you got time to piss around! I mean--.

Yes, chef. Coming through.

What's the first thing you taste?

White wine chef. (interview) Come on, Mary. Get it together. That's basic shit.

(to Mary) How much wine did you put in?

I put in just a few squirts chef.

So you'll have to reduce it down!

Yes, chef. Yes, chef. (interview) Ugh.

Get a pan on, start the risotto. Come on!

Yes, chef.

Too much white wine in there again. All of you.

Oh, my God.

Taste that. Hurry up. Taste.

I think this is good.

It needs salt.

How won't I taste the white wine in there again? (to Danielle) Have you got a drinking problem?

No, chef.

The first thing that you can taste in there is fucking white wine! (knocks his hand on the workstation)

Yes, chef. So you want about a tablespoon?

You have to burn off the alcohol!

Yes, chef. (interview) I'm great on what I do. But this is fucking hard. I mean harder than hard.

Can someone teach these two fucking idiots how to make a fucking risotto?!

Yes, chef!

Christian!

Yes, chef?

He brings up scallops, fucking rubber! (knocks his hand on the workstation) I mean, seriously?

(interview) What the hell are you doing? Come on! Pick it up, please!

Hey, you! Come here, you.

Ugh.

Touch them. (calls out Jeremy) Hey, you, big boy. Come here, you.

Yes, chef?

You're the one that's supposed to be supporting them.

Yes, chef.

How about supporting your fucking gut? (leads Christian and Jeremy to the Chef's Table) Both of you, sit down! Hey, enjoy your shit!

(interview) I don't know how I'm in this situation right now.

(to a server) A glass of wine, please. For the two chefs.

(interview) It was his scallops. I had nothing to do with it.

(to Christian and Jeremy) Enjoy! Fuck you! [returns to the workstation; to the Blue team] Hey, get a grip! (knocks his hand on the workstation) Scallops, urgently!

Heard!

This is a joke. Dry as fuck.

It's awful.

(returns to the workstation) STOP!

What?

All of you! (raises one lamb) Who cooked that?

Fuck!

Come here you! All of you, come here! How much more shit does one need to take?! The dining room full of guests waiting for that.

(interview) I'm so pissed at myself right now. I just want to punch myself in the dick.

You're making me look like a fucking idiot. (throws his spoon away) GET OUT! Leave me alone! Leave, get out, get out, get out. (gives the lamb to Christian) There you go. There's your second course. Fuck off! GET OUT!

(overhears Gordon) Wow.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Oh, that's raw.

That's raw? Oh, fuck me. (calls Nedra in the dining room) Nedra, come here. Hurry up!

(returns to the kitchen) Yes, chef.

(returns to the workstation) All of you! ALL OF YOU!

Yes, chef!

(raises one lamb) What the fuck is that?

It's raw, chef.

Who sent me raw lamb on the signature dishes? Who as that?

Me, chef.

It's a joke for you, isn't it?

Not a joke at all, chef.

So what's that, then?

It's raw lamb.

(throws the lamb away) All of you, get out!

Fuck.

Get out! I'M DONE! Get out!

(interview) This sucks!

Leave it.

(interview) Like we're all talented . We're all good at what we do...

Leave it.

(interview) It shouldn't be that hard.

GET OUT!

Blue Team first ticket away, here we go. Four covers, table 22. [slowly] Appetiser: one salad tableside, two risotto, one Caesar salad.

Yes, Chef!

[to Michael] Michael, how was that for you?

Fine, Chef.

[to Ray] Raymond, how was that for you?

Perfect, Chef.

Slow enough?

Yes, Chef.

I mean, fucking hell!

VIP table, NBA player. The risotto is too hard.

[returns and slams the risotto on the workstation] Risotto, a VIP table. Rice is fucking undercooked. [Ray places a pan underneath the workstation] Hey, he's a bit-- (to Ray) Hey, come here you. Give me that pan. [shows an overcooked risotto to the Blue team]

That one--

What are you doing? Wha-wha-wha-- Just what in the fuck are you doing?

(interview) Things are rolling, risotto goes out, awesome. Perfect good, good start.

[slams the pan on the workstation] That's burned and that's hard! [gets and slams the plate on the pan]

I'll put another one in chef.

(interview) Risotto comes back, awesome. Perfect, [deflated tone] this is what we do.

(knocks his hand on the workstation; to Ray) You, grand-dad! Come on! this is a pick up now!

Ten seconds, chef. Right here, chef.

(interview) Chef Ray, watch your motherfucking self and you'd better not make any more mistakes under the fucking sun. You hear me?

KEEP THE FUCKING PAN DOWN!

Yes, chef. I understand, chef.

MOVE, RAY!

Sorry.

(interview) Ray, get your head out of your ass and get this risotto out. We're waiting on you. Waiting on Ray!

Stop! Risotto tastes delicious! (to Ray) Now you've raised the bar.

Thank you, chef.

Hey, don't piss your pants! Just stay focused!

I won't, chef. Yes, chef.

One risotto, why is she cooking all that? (returns to the workstation) Oy, all of you! How many portions are in there?

Three. There's three chef.

Four? Five? (to Jessica) How many is going?

Two chef.

One! Is this a joke for you?

No, chef.

All that time we're waiting!

Sorry, chef.

Five portions of fucking risotto, I need one!

Let's go, bounce back.

(disgusted) Yeah.

(to her team mates) Come on, guys. Let's pick it up. Let's get going.

Throw five, serve one!

Lamb?

(slices his lamb; finds that it's rare) Dude, this is under. I can't send this.

Lamb?

Walk with the lamb, please.

Lamb is not done yet chef.

Oh, fuck off! Christ almighty!

It's still rare in the middle. The middle is rare, the outside are good.

Oh, fuck me.

We have to fire an all new garnish.

(interview, mocking Michael) Waaaaah! The lamb's not cooked! Waaaaah!

Brand new garnish.

(interview) Michael, just sit there and wait! I got it!

Where is this fucking lamb?

Right here chef.

There's the fucking plates! Two minutes been sat there dressed!

Lamb is being cut. It's on its way.

Walking lamb. Behind. (brings his lamb to the pass)

It's there! Hey Bozo That's how open the fucking gap for you!

Yes, chef. Two lamb chef.

(interview) Yelling over, problem solved. Right?

[points to Dan] YOU! HEY, STRING-BEAN! COME HERE!

Yes, chef!

(interview) Wrong.

(raises a chewed up piece of lamb) What the fuck is that?!

Get lamb going now.

What is that? [Dan doesn't answer] Wha... WHAT IS THAT?

Shit, chef.

This needs one more minute in the oven, and that bit there should be a fucking dog's chew!

Yes, chef.

Where would you like it, chef?

Put it there.

Thank you, chef.

[checks her chicken; finds that it's raw] Pink fucking chicken. (returns to the workstation) Ladies!

Yes, chef?

Pink chicken!

Fuck!

(Interview) Raw chicken, like seriously?

Pink chicken. Undercooked, and pink.

Sorry, chef.

[throws his spoon on the workstation as everyone stands around unresponsive] WAKE UP! Come on, Jacqueline!

Yes, chef!

Yes, chef!

Bounce back guys, leave it in the water longer.

Jacqueline!

Get me a pan.

JACQUELINE!

Yes, chef!

There are some things you can't do in a kitchen...

Yes, chef!

...and that's serving raw chicken!

Yes, chef!

JESUS CHRIST!

Lamb? Where is the lamb?

I'll just bring it up, chef. A minute left, chef.

Come on, I'm going to lose those garnish.

A minute away. Garnish is done.

(interview) I'm doing fucking 50,000 things right now, and Dan is failing at the one fucking task that he has. I need a lamb.

(slices his lamb) Zach?

How the fuck?

(interview) Okay, the lamb wasn't cooking fast enough. What the fuck do you want me to do about it other than to put it in the damn oven. [puts his lamb in the oven]

(to Dan) Dan, real time. How long?

(to Zach) How long?

YOU JUST LOOK AT THE FUCKING LAMB! HOW LONG? [goes to the oven] OH, JESUS! FUCK! (interview) Then he asks Zach how long? Are you kidding me? How does that go? (to Dan) Get the fuck out of here! Get out! (interview) Really, if he lays one fucking finger on me, I'm going to beat him all over the fucking room! I don't care if I walk off and go to jail tonight!

(to Dan) Hey, don't stand there!

(to Dan and Michael) Hey, come on! Split it up! [Michael bumps Dan out of his way]

(to Michael) Don't fucking bump me again!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

(interview) Don't bump me! You ain't shit! You want to fucking fight? Come get it!

(to Michael) Hey, hey, hey you! (to Dan) Hey you, HEY FUCK-WIT! Come here you! Come here! [leads Dan and Michael to the pantry]

(interview) Wooo-hoo! Someone's getting it down.

[angrily slams the door] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?

(to Dan) You got to talk to me, bro. That's it.

Alright.

You got to fucking talk to me!

Stop yelling at me.

No, fuck you! Talk to me or get the fuck out and go home!

(to Dan) You're throwing him under the bus all the fucking time!

Don't be sorry, dude!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Don't be sorry!

Look at him and talk at each other!

I'll fix it! I'm sorry!

Let's do it! Come on!

Now it's overcooked.

They're overcooked.

(returns to the workstation) All of you, HEY!

(under her breath) Oh, my God.

The Red team that loves taking the piss because they've flown off a private jet, they've been on a fucking mega super yacht, and they think they're King Dick because they've kissed Céline Dion's arse in fucking Vegas! Come here, you! Touch that.

It's overcooked, chef.

Yes, chef. Overcooked.

Just so--- [sees Danielle walking away] Oh, she disappears, look. Hey.

I'm giving you another one chef. I understand that's overcooked. [brings another wellington to the workstation]

Look at that there. Touch that there.

Yes, chef. Sorry, chef. Here's another one.

And even before touching that one, what do you think that one's going to come out at?

Medium, chef.

Touch that one.

Overcooked, chef.

Overcooked. Overcooked. [slams the tray on the workstation]

(under her breath) Fuck!

(interview) Danielle, girl. Get your shit together, man!

Third time lucky, bingo?!

Perfect, chef. Perfect, chef.

Oh! "Perfect, chef!" (sarcastically)

Sorry, chef. [brings another wellington to the workstation]

So the first two were what?!

My fuck-up, chef. Sorry, chef.