James Gordon quotes from Harley Quinn

When I find the monster responsible for shooting my Babsy, these old tuna cans are going to tear him limb from limb, eat the very flesh from his bones, then make a soothing broth with his carcass to use as a base in stews. Then I'm going to learn how to make a stew.

[At Poison Ivy statue fountain holding a coin] I wish I has a single shred of self-respect. [Baby shark leaps out and bites off hand] Why?!

James Gordon

[Runs over] What's with all this hubbub?!

That shark stole my wish! [Falls down dead]

Daddy's coming! [Leaps into fountain splashing out water level] My babies!

James Gordon

[Baby sharks are all biting on his fingers] Oh, look at these pups sucking on my cocktail weenies! I forgot what a good dad I am!

[Walks over to James] Oh, I am so sorry! I really thought I could be a working single dad like one of those romcoms where it's challenging at first, but at the end of a fun montage, you balance it all.

James Gordon

[To Nanaue holding all his baby sharks] Look me in the eye! You can do this! Dads can have it all!

So, how did you do it?

James Gordon

Great question. I'll show you.

James Gordon

[Using camera to trim nose hairs] You are one sexy muchacho!

Harley Quinn

[Bursts in causing James to lose balance and have scissors rammed up nose] Gordon! I need your help!

James Gordon

I hit a blood vessel!

Harley Quinn

[Grabs James and throws him into chair] Listen, I was here last night for the Nightwing's dead party, and I saw another Harley! I gotta know if I'm losing my fucking mind! So, can we please check the security cameras now?

James Gordon

You know, I thought I saw my doppelganger once, but it was just a plate of carne asada and nachos atop a trash can.

Harley Quinn

[Looks at monitor] Who the hell is this?

James Gordon

Get ready for some cuteness. [Plays footage]

[Shooting camera of baby shark playing with handgun] Okay? Give daddy back his gun now. [Baby shark discharges firearm into camera]

Harley Quinn

Come on.

James Gordon

Hey! This is my... you find what you need?

Harley Quinn

Hey, where is the rest of the footage?!

James Gordon

I got some bathroom stuff, some make-out stuff. [Shoves James and kicks over a monitor in frustration] The rest, I kind of taped over.

Harley Quinn

[Grabs James shirt and gets on his lap] So fucking worthless! When I'm looking for something... I need to know what's happening to me! Gordon, do I seem insane to you?!

James Gordon

Um... no, you seem good.